Daggers Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Right.... I've got a tube of fire-ants that I am going to insert down my urethra using a funnel while bathing my testicles in concentrated nitric acid. After that I will making one thousand razor blade cuts on my member, rubbing salt into the cuts and then waving it through a hole in the fence at next doors rottweiller. Rusty knife? Pfft!
Babylon Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Can't believe the season starts on Saturday and we haven't signed anyone... oh hang on it's months away.
Lord Nibblington Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Right....I've got a tube of fire-ants that I am going to insert down my urethra using a funnel while bathing my testicles in concentrated nitric acid. After that I will making one thousand razor blade cuts on my member, rubbing salt into the cuts and then waving it through a hole in the fence at next doors rottweiller. Rusty knife? Pfft! I'd pay money to see that. Not a lot, and not my money obviously. But I would pay non the less.
THEBIGJOHNSTEADER; Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Right....I've got a tube of fire-ants that I am going to insert down my urethra using a funnel while bathing my testicles in concentrated nitric acid. After that I will making one thousand razor blade cuts on my member, rubbing salt into the cuts and then waving it through a hole in the fence at next doors rottweiller. Rusty knife? Pfft! you pushed it too far
Raj Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Can't believe the season starts on Saturday and we haven't signed anyone... oh hang on it's months away. AS Michael Winner would say in his insurance company commercial...."CALM DOWN DEAR...THERES PLENTY OF TIME LEFT!"(Actually he doesn't say the THERES PLENTY OF TIME LEFT...does he?)
Daggers Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 I'd pay money to see that.Not a lot, and not my money obviously. But I would pay non the less. Unfortunately tickets for the event will only be on sale via the interweb to registered applicants. I would like to wish you all the best with your application and would like to take this opportunity to remind all potential buyers that my penis mutilation will be sponsored by Mastercard
Lord Nibblington Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Unfortunately tickets for the event will only be on sale via the interweb to registered applicants.I would like to wish you all the best with your application and would like to take this opportunity to remind all potential buyers that my penis mutilation will be sponsored by Mastercard Do you mean ticket buyers, or buyers of your post mutilated penis?
Foxhateram Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Do you mean ticket buyers, or buyers of your post mutilated penis? grrrr i got all excited for a second there i saw that a new story had been put on the OS but its just about the acrringon tie i need my transfer kick im becoming delerious here.
Raj Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Do you mean ticket buyers, or buyers of your post mutilated penis? Why has this thread turned into one about someone chopping their penis off!
Daggers Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Why has this thread turned into one about someone chopping their penis off! Because the one about me shoving hamsters up my arse got deleted
Raj Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Because the one about me shoving hamsters up my arse got deleted :eek:
The People's Hero Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Because the one about me shoving hamsters up my arse got deleted Typical. Been searching for that ALL morning.
Lord Nibblington Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Typical.Been searching for that ALL morning. The thread or the hamster?
Daggers Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 I last saw it filling in an application for Big Brother before catching the No.26
THEBIGJOHNSTEADER; Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 I might just staple some disposable objects to my penis with a stapler for a quick fix. I'm going to have an Allen Attack if we don't sign someone soon
Daggers Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 I might just staple some disposable objects to my penis with a stapler for a quick fix. I'm going to have an Allen Attack if we don't sign someone soon THEBIGJOHNSTEADER previous total = 4.5 points Staple idea -0.5 THEBIGJOHNSTEADER new total = 4.0 points
Mort Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 C'mon we've been drawn against Acrington Stanley! Now if that isnt "BIG" news i dont know what is!
THEBIGJOHNSTEADER; Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 C'mon we've been drawn against Acrington Stanley! Now if that isnt "BIG" news i dont know what is! It's a sign.... ..I'm starting to feel ever so weak....
Blue Bob Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 I am concerned by the amount of sell abuse that is discussed on this site. What worries me is if we do have a big signing their will be self abuse of a different kind!! :w00t:
Mort Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 It's a sign.... ..I'm starting to feel ever so weak.... ...plenty more hours in the day, giving Martin time for a surprise swoop* EDIT: * One of those phrases like "lure" and "capture" that seem to get used in the context of football transfers for some unknown reason.
mancunianfox Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 It's a sign.... ..I'm starting to feel ever so weak.... Hang in there fella!
Lord Nibblington Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 It's a sign.... ..I'm starting to feel ever so weak.... Doesn't look very rusty to me. Poor effort.
THEBIGJOHNSTEADER; Posted 13 June 2007 Posted 13 June 2007 Doesn't look very rusty to me.Poor effort. Wait till you see my breadknife
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