Daggers Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 not by Roger Hargreaves (that OK with you FIAB?) One morning in LeicesterLand, Mr.LeicesterFan woke up to find the sun shining through his window. "Sodding buggery sun!" said Mr.LeicesterFan. Mr.LeicesterFan did not like the sun at all. It was the wrong shape, the wrong temperature and most definitely the wrong age. Mr.LeicesterFan was not sure of the age of the sun but he was pretty sure that it was too old, whatever it was. Mr.LeicesterFan wanted a sun with potential, a sun that would last at least three more years; a sun that he had seen grow from a tiny agglomeration of particles in Championship Manager. Yes, Mr.LeicesterFan did not like the sun at all. Mr.LeicesterFan walked outside and looked into a mirror. "Sodding buggery mirror!" said Mr.LeicesterFan. Then Mr.LeicesterFan said "I am the bastard wrong buggery colour." And he was. As quick as a flash the graphic designer, Mr.Foreignblokespendingalot, re-coloured the miserable little shit. Was Mr.LeicesterFan happy now? Was he bollocks. Pulling out a Mr.LeicesterFan book from his pocket, Mr.LeicesterFan proceeded to complain about the quality of the book binding, the font size, the price, the distribution channels, the in-store promotion strategy, the book's carbon footprint, the over-paid Mr.Foreignfancy-Dan being in other books but not his, not being allowed to stand while reading the book and reading time being continually moved to accommodate television. "Bollocks to you then!" said Mr.Foreignblokespendingalot, turned Mr.LeicesterFan back to the original colour and fooked off to another publishing house. "Sodding buggery bollocks!" said Mr.LeicesterFan. The End ...again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babylon Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 Brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daggers Posted 19 June 2007 Author Share Posted 19 June 2007 Until somebody with nothing else on this afternoon decides that I am issuing a welcoming card to the four horsemen of the apocalypse for using copyright images. Am I allowed to say "the four horsemen of the apocalypse"? I don't know if I should apply to God or a metal band for permission to use the phrase? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Nibblington Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 The funniest thing I've read in the last 10 minutes. Fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
filbertway Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 A contender for post of the year for me Genius daggers, genius. Will there be more mini stories to follow, I could look forward to these. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
potter3 Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 :laugh: both your posts in this thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fez of Mahrez Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 Ha. I love you Daggers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kent Fox Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 Absolute Genius! I can only applaud you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daggers Posted 19 June 2007 Author Share Posted 19 June 2007 He has a wife you know. Gloria. Gloria LeicesterFan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THEBIGJOHNSTEADER; Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zingari Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 side splitting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox in a Box Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 not by Roger Hargreaves (that OK with you FIAB?) One morning in LeicesterLand, Mr.LeicesterFan woke up to find the sun shining through his window. "Sodding buggery sun!" said Mr.LeicesterFan. Mr.LeicesterFan did not like the sun at all. It was the wrong shape, the wrong temperature and most definitely the wrong age. Mr.LeicesterFan was not sure of the age of the sun but he was pretty sure that it was too old, whatever it was. Mr.LeicesterFan wanted a sun with potential, a sun that would last at least three more years; a sun that he had seen grow from a tiny agglomeration of particles in Championship Manager. Yes, Mr.LeicesterFan did not like the sun at all. Mr.LeicesterFan walked outside and looked into a mirror. "Sodding buggery mirror!" said Mr.LeicesterFan. Then Mr.LeicesterFan said "I am the bastard wrong buggery colour." And he was. As quick as a flash the graphic designer, Mr.Foreignblokespendingalot, re-coloured the miserable little shit. Was Mr.LeicesterFan happy now? Was he bollocks. Pulling out a Mr.LeicesterFan book from his pocket, Mr.LeicesterFan proceeded to complain about the quality of the book binding, the font size, the price, the distribution channels, the in-store promotion strategy, the book's carbon footprint, the over-paid Mr.Foreignfancy-Dan being in other books but not his, not being allowed to stand while reading the book and reading time being continually moved to accommodate television. "Bollocks to you then!" said Mr.Foreignblokespendingalot, turned Mr.LeicesterFan back to the original colour and fooked off to another publishing house. "Sodding buggery bollocks!" said Mr.LeicesterFan. The End ...again! and I get a mention too This needs putting to print! Top class quite possibly the most original post this year. is there one for Notts Forest!.... surely ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxhateram Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 and I get a mention too This needs putting to print! Top class quite possibly the most original post this year. is there one for Notts Forest!.... surely ... i have to admit, i unfortunatly am just like mr leicesterfan. and i am utterly ashamed thankyou it has taken this story to wake me up in side and i will now love every player who comes through those gates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zingari Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 i have to admit, i unfortunatly am just like mr leicesterfan. and i am utterly ashamed thankyou it has taken this story to wake me up in side and i will now love every player who comes through those gates i think there is a little bit of mr leicesterfan in all of us ( even daggers); thats what makes it so funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lester LXXIV Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 Lovin yer work Daggers!! :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dames Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeyB Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 Daggers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gené and Tonic Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 I think we have a winner for the best post of the year already Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zingari Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 who's going to ask for a name change to mr leicesterfan , complete with the angry avatar ; i think daggers ought to copyright it or award it to the grumpiest poster; yes; it should be an honorary award for grumpiness above and beyond the call of duty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BartonFox Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
filbertway Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 I think we have a winner for the best post of the year already I'm just wondering, dno if this has been asked before. But what was your previous username Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gené and Tonic Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 hinckleyfox..before that LCFC_826 Just had it changed...twas a bit boring Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonisco Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 <Mr LeicesterFan> ****ing genius. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky Dennis Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 The Russell Brand of FoxesTalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BartonFox Posted 19 June 2007 Share Posted 19 June 2007 The Russell Brand of FoxesTalk Jo Brand more like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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