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Zingari

pessimistic coach

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Posted

Due to an unexpectedly high demand for places , Optimistic Coaches Ltd. (of Highhope in Herts ) have now ran out of availibility but I was redirected to their previous owners Pessimistic Coaches (of Long Suffring Kent) who still have one old banger that we can use .

Anyone wanting to board this coach for the coming season should be aware we intend taking the scenic route at a leisurely pace with frequent stops for glasses of bitter ( half empty ) and barbeques ( sacrificial lamb) . Although our destination point is the same as Optimistic Coaches we will be more prepared for the inevitable wrong turnings etc .

The coach is not air conditioned so please don't bring on any "MA is a legend" bullshit etc

I intend driving the bus but i'd really appreciate the assistance of a few couriers to point out sites of special interest ( eg where the sky is bluer or grass is greener etc) and also possibly a couple of trolley dollies who are prepared to go all the way with me on a journey of low expectation .

Also i reserve the right to keep an eye on any doom clouds on this route and if they lift sufficiently i will be making a swift detour onto either the MA 1 (Championship expressway ) or the MM 6 ( Playoff route ) and we will be in Optimistic coach's slipsteam as quick as you can chant your favourite Buddist mantra

(n.b. this coach is eco friendly as it runs entirely on recycled garbage)

Posted
Due to an unexpectedly high demand for places , Optimistic Coaches Ltd. (of Highhope in Herts ) have now ran out of availibility but I was redirected to their previous owners Pessimistic Coaches (of Long Suffring Kent) who still have one old banger that we can use .

Anyone wanting to board this coach for the coming season should be aware we intend taking the scenic route at a leisurely pace with frequent stops for glasses of bitter ( half empty ) and barbeques ( sacrificial lamb) . Although our destination point is the same as Optimistic Coaches we will be more prepared for the inevitable wrong turnings etc .

The coach is not air conditioned so please don't bring on any "MA is a legend" bullshit etc

I intend driving the bus but i'd really appreciate the assistance of a few couriers to point out sites of special interest ( eg where the sky is bluer or grass is greener etc) and also possibly a couple of trolley dollies who are prepared to go all the way with me on a journey of low expectation .

Also i reserve the right to keep an eye on any doom clouds on this route and if they lift sufficiently i will be making a swift detour onto either the MA 1 (Championship expressway ) or the MM 6 ( Playoff route ) and we will be in Optimistic coach's slipsteam as quick as you can chant your favourite Buddist mantra

(n.b. this coach is eco friendly as it runs entirely on recycled garbage)

Brilliant. :D :D :thumbup:

I suppose you could call for a (lightning) conductor too but, alas, I fear the seats might all stay empty, the service could well be (depressively) withdrawn and the itinery saved only for history buffs.

Posted
Due to an unexpectedly high demand for places , Optimistic Coaches Ltd. (of Highhope in Herts ) have now ran out of availibility but I was redirected to their previous owners Pessimistic Coaches (of Long Suffring Kent) who still have one old banger that we can use .

Anyone wanting to board this coach for the coming season should be aware we intend taking the scenic route at a leisurely pace with frequent stops for glasses of bitter ( half empty ) and barbeques ( sacrificial lamb) . Although our destination point is the same as Optimistic Coaches we will be more prepared for the inevitable wrong turnings etc .

The coach is not air conditioned so please don't bring on any "MA is a legend" bullshit etc

I intend driving the bus but i'd really appreciate the assistance of a few couriers to point out sites of special interest ( eg where the sky is bluer or grass is greener etc) and also possibly a couple of trolley dollies who are prepared to go all the way with me on a journey of low expectation .

Also i reserve the right to keep an eye on any doom clouds on this route and if they lift sufficiently i will be making a swift detour onto either the MA 1 (Championship expressway ) or the MM 6 ( Playoff route ) and we will be in Optimistic coach's slipsteam as quick as you can chant your favourite Buddist mantra

(n.b. this coach is eco friendly as it runs entirely on recycled garbage)

DOes your coach have a tiolet for those that want to get rid of there shit etc

&

Most importantly does it have a tv and dvd player to watch some pessimistic movies or porn???

Posted
DOes your coach have a tiolet for those that want to get rid of there shit etc

&

Most importantly does it have a tv and dvd player to watch some pessimistic movies or porn???

Pessimistic porn is fabulous

Posted

Blues Brother-That was very funny! :clap:

BUT im on the Optimistic coach...sorry!!! :thumbup:

Posted
Due to an unexpectedly high demand for places , Optimistic Coaches Ltd. (of Highhope in Herts ) have now ran out of availibility but I was redirected to their previous owners Pessimistic Coaches (of Long Suffring Kent) who still have one old banger that we can use .

Anyone wanting to board this coach for the coming season should be aware we intend taking the scenic route at a leisurely pace with frequent stops for glasses of bitter ( half empty ) and barbeques ( sacrificial lamb) . Although our destination point is the same as Optimistic Coaches we will be more prepared for the inevitable wrong turnings etc .

The coach is not air conditioned so please don't bring on any "MA is a legend" bullshit etc

I intend driving the bus but i'd really appreciate the assistance of a few couriers to point out sites of special interest ( eg where the sky is bluer or grass is greener etc) and also possibly a couple of trolley dollies who are prepared to go all the way with me on a journey of low expectation .

Also i reserve the right to keep an eye on any doom clouds on this route and if they lift sufficiently i will be making a swift detour onto either the MA 1 (Championship expressway ) or the MM 6 ( Playoff route ) and we will be in Optimistic coach's slipsteam as quick as you can chant your favourite Buddist mantra

(n.b. this coach is eco friendly as it runs entirely on recycled garbage)

As shareholder of the company, I would like to announce that we have pipped 6 Premiership Clubs and two from La Liga in purchasing 5 brand spanking new Optimistic Coaches.

These coaches are for VIP members only which means you cannot board unless you actually support the team. You cannot join if your main aim is to moan on route to the match or don't bother getting involved in singing but prefer to use your energies in moaning at how shite we are playing on that given day. Anti-Milan comments about how cheap he got us for and how he will run us into the ground are also strictly prohibited. If you decide to leave the game 15 mins early you will not be allowed to board the bus as the driver and rest of the fans will be in the sttadium backing the side until the very death.

Harboring about the MON days and bringing back players like Heskey and Savage will be tolerated although these buses shall always be driving forward and only occasionally reverse back in time. These optimistic buses are for the future that at this stage seems rosey.

For full price details, please check the OS.

Posted

Get me onboard the Optimistic Coach! :thumbup:

P.S It better have DvD and plasma screen,and a toilet,and drinks available.I like hot chocolate,and it better have some of them curtains that some coaches have but no one ever uses!!! :blink:

Posted
Get me onboard the Optimistic Coach! :thumbup:

P.S It better have DvD and plasma screen,and a toilet,and drinks available.I like hot chocolate,and it better have some of them curtains that some coaches have but no one ever uses!!! :blink:

We have a DVD and Plasma on board Raj so have no fear. We have a lovely blue toilet accompanied by the Elvis shite paper stolen from the pessimistic coach but dont tell them. Hot Chocolate are unavailable for this tour as lead singer Errol Brown has come down with angina but we are trying to book S Club 7 for the away trip to Crystal Palace. We have also made the unusual step to bring blue and white flowers aboard and have installed a chocolate machine stuffed with Mars Bars. You cant buy a bar but the aim is to dish them out as prizes to the successful ones. All coaches leave at 6am regardless of location as we need to be up and at it first thing.

Tickets please...

Posted
We have a DVD and Plasma on board Raj so have no fear. We have a lovely blue toilet accompanied by the Elvis shite paper stolen from the pessimistic coach but dont tell them. Hot Chocolate are unavailable for this tour as lead singer Errol Brown has come down with angina but we are trying to book S Club 7 for the away trip to Crystal Palace. We have also made the unusual step to bring blue and white flowers aboard and have installed a chocolate machine stuffed with Mars Bars. You cant buy a bar but the aim is to dish them out as prizes to the successful ones. All coaches leave at 6am regardless of location as we need to be up and at it first thing.

Tickets please...

Book me a return ticket pal!!! :thumbup:

Posted
Any room for a sloth-like 'g' with a bad attitood and a bottle of cheap Aussie shiraz?

Only if you promise to drop a bit of the booze on the floor before entering the bus, in respect of the homies who we have lost.

Biggie Smalls and 2Pac. RIP

Posted
Only if you promise to drop a bit of the booze on the floor before entering the bus, in respect of the homies who we have lost.

Biggie Smalls and 2Pac. RIP

If that's the shite music (?) you're playing on the bus, I'll drive around myself in my optimistic car.

It's better in that I can smoke in it.

And I don't allow wine spillage for any reason.

Especially for a couple of (insert you own insult here).

So, who wants in on the optimistic VW Golf TDI 4-Motion?

Posted
If that's the shite music (?) you're playing on the bus, I'll drive around myself in my optimistic car.

It's better in that I can smoke in it.

And I don't allow wine spillage for any reason.

Especially for a couple of (insert you own insult here).

So, who wants in on the optimistic VW Golf TDI 4-Motion?

They`ll be no music on the bus, just non-stop singing, even bringing in some of the classics like "Sooper Stevie Claridge", "Stevie Walsh being here, there and every fookin where" and maybe a little "Ooooh Tommy Wright"

Posted

how did optimistic happy people get on my coach :dunno: go on; clear off you happy fun loving optimistic freaks and go and play on one of your own smiley faced toytown buses ;

i don't usually get you lot on til around november

Posted
how did optimistic happy people get on my coach :dunno: go on; clear off you happy fun loving optimistic freaks and go and play on one of your own smiley faced toytown buses ;

i don't usually get you lot on til around november

You know you'll be on the Optimistic Bus eventually!!! :whistle::thumbup:

Posted
how did optimistic happy people get on my coach :dunno: go on; clear off you happy fun loving optimistic freaks and go and play on one of your own smiley faced toytown buses ;

i don't usually get you lot on til around november

We are getting worse than them Scientology freaks. Come on fella, join us. :|

Posted
We are getting worse than them Scientology freaks. Come on fella, join us. :|

I hope you are not saying that uber-cool John Travolta is a freak! :angry:

Or you and me may have to step outside, Sir!

Just rememeber Pulp Fiction - He's like that in real life. And Samuel L Jackson is his friend.

Posted
I hope you are not saying that uber-cool John Travolta is a freak! :angry:

Or you and me may have to step outside, Sir!

Just rememeber Pulp Fiction - He's like that in real life. And Samuel L Jackson is his friend.

Thats not you is it fella? :unsure:

travoltakiss.jpg

Posted
Thats not you is it fella? :unsure:

travoltakiss.jpg

Aah :blush:

I never thought that would see the light of day.

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