FoxyPV Posted 23 March 2010 Posted 23 March 2010 UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'? Contestant: Homosexuals. Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2) Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is? Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point. Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title. Contestant: Leicester BBC NORFOLK Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World? Contestant: I don't know. Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow? Contestant: Arm Stewart White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...? Contestant: Strong. Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name? Contestant: Louis Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World? Contestant: Frank Sinatra? LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS ) Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ? Contestant: France. Trelinski: France is another country. Try again. Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm. Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon? Contestant: Sorry, I don't know. Trelinski: Just guess a country then. Contestant: Paris. THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2) Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party? Contestant: The Conservative Party. BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON ) DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope? Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish? UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name? Contestant: Goosey? GWR FM ( Bristol ) Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963? Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then. PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO ( MANCHESTER ) Phil: What's 11 squared? Contestant: I don't know. Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle. Contestant: Is it five? RICHARD AND JUDY Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman? Contestant: Forrest Gump. RICHARD AND JUDY Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live? Contestant: Er. ... ... Richard: He makes bread . . . Contestant: Er .. ..... Richard: He makes cakes . . . Contestant: Kipling Street? LINCS FM PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain . NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1) Question: What is the world's largest continent? Contestant: The Pacific. ROCK FM ( PRESTON ) Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci. Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV) Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918? Contestant: Magna Carta? JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC) James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry? Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three? CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL ) Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ? Caller: Japan. Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er ......... Mexico ? PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE ) Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days. DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland ? Daryl Denham: (helpfully) It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ? Contestant: No. PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR) Phil Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er.... .... .. Phil Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . Contestant: Blimey? Phil Wood: Ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . . Contestant: (Silence) Phil Wood: OK, try it another way.. Today I run, yesterday I . . . Contestant: Walked? THE VAULT Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time? Contestant: Nostalgia. LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB) Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes? Contestant: Jewish. Presenter: That's close enough. STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2) Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play? Contestant: Jesus
MikeyT Posted 23 March 2010 Posted 23 March 2010 Haha these are brilliant. Cheers for posting. I'm stealing this!
Trav Le Bleu Posted 23 March 2010 Posted 23 March 2010 You saw my post in what grinds my gears, then went away and found more didn't you? nice ones though. On the flip side, on the Weakest Link they asked the question, "In the Proclaimers hit single how many miles did they walk to their loved one's door" and the man answered "1000" Anne said the answer was wrong, but it wasn't. You see the song title is 500 Miles, but the lyrics say, "I will walk 500 miles and I will walk 500 more, just to be the man you walked a 1000 miles to fall down at your door." So technically he was right, since they didn't ask for the "title" of the song. Anne annoys me as a question master - she's not bright enough to know when contestants have given the correct answer, but might have said it in a slightly different way to what's written down and also she often misprounces place names herself.
FoxyPV Posted 23 March 2010 Author Posted 23 March 2010 You saw my post in what grinds my gears, then went away and found more didn't you? nice ones though. On the flip side, on the Weakest Link they asked the question, "In the Proclaimers hit single how many miles did they walk to their loved one's door" and the man answered "1000" Anne said the answer was wrong, but it wasn't. You see the song title is 500 Miles, but the lyrics say, "I will walk 500 miles and I will walk 500 more, just to be the man you walked a 1000 miles to fall down at your door." So technically he was right, since they didn't ask for the "title" of the song. Anne annoys me as a question master - she's not bright enough to know when contestants have given the correct answer, but might have said it in a slightly different way to what's written down and also she often misprounces place names herself. I saw your post but trying to get more would be a bit too much effort. I just got sent them in an email in work Stupid people shouldn't be allowed an quiz shows.
jonthefox Posted 23 March 2010 Posted 23 March 2010 I swear this is true. In a pub quiz once, the question was. Whats the name of britains longest road cycle race, and some noob answered tour de france.
Webbo Posted 23 March 2010 Posted 23 March 2010 link DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM) Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year? Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue. Kelly: OK. What do beans come in? Contestant: Cartons? QUIZMANIA (ITV) Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with 'T'. Contestant: Doctor. Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango. Contestant: Oh, right . . . (pause) . . . Doctor. THE WEAKEST LINK Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway? RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND) Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The ...? Caller: Mohicans. QUIZMANIA Greg Scott: We're looking for a word that goes in front of 'clock'. Contestant: Grandfather. Scott: Grandfather clock is already up there, say something else. Contestant: Panda. MAGIC 52 (NORTHEAST ENGLAND) Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated? Contestant: Erm .. . Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964. Contestant: 1965? SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV) Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held? Contestant: Six. Tufnell: Higher! Contestant: Five. FORTBOYARD(CHALLENGE TV) Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and PIT. Team: Chedpit. RADIO 1 EARLY MORNING SHOW Presenter: How many toes would three people have in total? Contestant: 23. NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM) Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest? Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it? THE MICK GIRDLER SHOW (BBC RADIO SOLENT) Girdler: I'm looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes the letter 'e'. Contestant: Ghana. Girdler: No, listen. It's an island in the Atlantic Ocean. Contestant: New Zealand. ROCK FM (PRESTON) Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci. Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? NATIONAL LOTTERY Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what? Contestant: Jelly. RICHARD ALLINSON SHOW (RADIO 2) Allinson: What international brand shares its name with the Greek goddess of victory? Contestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg's? BLIND DATE (ITV) Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen. Boy: Charlotte Bronte. DOG EAT DOG (BBC1) Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord of the Rings? Contestant: Enid Blyton NATIONAL LOTTERY Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing . .. what? Contestant: Basketball. NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place? Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor? NATIONAL LOTTERY Dale Winton: Skegness is a seaside resort on the coast of which sea: a)Irish Sea, b) English Channel, c) North Sea? Contestant: Oh, I know that, you can start writing out the cheque now Dale. It's on the east coast, so it must be the Irish Sea. LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRM Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes? Contestant: Jewish. Presenter: That's close enough. BREAKFAST SHOW, RADIO 1 Chris Moyles: Which 'S' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes? Contestant: Ummm .. . Moyles: It begins with 'S' and rhymes with 'perm'. Contestant: Shark.
FoxyPV Posted 23 March 2010 Author Posted 23 March 2010 there are too many there for me to highlight just one. I'll put my there favourites - Island - Ghana, occupation beginning with T - Doctor, and Shark AMAZING
Fox You Forest Posted 23 March 2010 Posted 23 March 2010 GWR FM ( Bristol ) Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963? Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then. Quality.
samlcfc Posted 24 March 2010 Posted 24 March 2010 This is the kind of thing i can imagine a girl in my college class saying. She said she thought Bath was in Greece today because the Roman built lots of baths. Then when told it was in England she said "what, there were romans in England"
StanSP Posted 25 March 2010 Posted 25 March 2010 I'm glad it didn't happen to me when I was on, because I would have been so tempted to say it!! http://tv.uk.msn.com/photos/photos.aspx?cp-documentid=152754229
Trav Le Bleu Posted 25 March 2010 Posted 25 March 2010 NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM) Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest? Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it? Technically, that's correct.
Phube Posted 25 March 2010 Posted 25 March 2010 BBC NORFOLK Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World? Contestant: I don't know. Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow? Contestant: Arm Stewart White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...? Contestant: Strong. Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name? Contestant: Louis Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World? Contestant: Frank Sinatra? I would never have got that!! And yet he's quite clearly a moron!?!?
The Doctor Posted 25 March 2010 Posted 25 March 2010 Technically, that's correct. awfully vague though.
Guest Posted 25 March 2010 Posted 25 March 2010 I'm glad it didn't happen to me when I was on, because I would have been so tempted to say it!! http://tv.uk.msn.com...entid=152754229 I got "gonads" the other day; only Dictionary Corner was brave enough to say it though.
StanSP Posted 25 March 2010 Posted 25 March 2010 I got "gonads" the other day; only Dictionary Corner was brave enough to say it though. Not quite on the same scale as fucked though
Guest Posted 25 March 2010 Posted 25 March 2010 Not quite on the same scale as fooked though Personally, I find "gonads" more cringeworthy. It would be my luck to go on there and find the word "gussets", and not be able to get the points because I can't bring myself to say it.
Lillehamring Posted 21 May 2010 Posted 21 May 2010 not a quiz, but on a similar level of stupidity...and true. this was a phone conversation i had when i worked in consular services and we had a deal to handle lunn poly's visa and passport queries... LP girl: hi, i have someone travelling to amsterdam in holland, will they need a visa? me: what nationality are they? LP girl: they're english me: no, an english person doesn't need a visa for the netherlands LP girl: ok, but what about Holland.
The Doctor Posted 26 May 2010 Posted 26 May 2010 Just been reading a book called F in exams. Contains some of the worst exam answers ever/ Q. Explain what is meant by pastoral farming. A. A Farm run by vicars Q. What is the highest frequency sound a human can hear? A. Mariah Carey Q. What does terminal illness mean? A. When you become ill at an airport Q."Powerful aftershocks rocked the city, Fires burned out of control, streets were full of debrisand ruined buildings. At least 30 people were injured". What type of natural disaster is being described by the report? A. The End Of Big Brother. Q. What is a 6 sided polygon know as? A. An empty cage Q.There are 300 students in year 10 and mary & Mark want to find year 10's favourite colour. Mary asked 30 people, Mark asked 150 people. Mark says that his conclusions are more reliable that mary's. Why does mark think he is right? A. Because mark is a man Q. A Car company knocks 50% of the price of a £25,000 car. What is the new price? A. Still too expensive Q. A fashion company decides to locate it's factory near birmingham. Is birmingham the right place for this sort of business? A. No. People from birmingham aren't very fashionable Q. John's net pay is £150. His deductions are £38. A). Calculate Johns gross pay - The money he spends on porn each week B). State one mandatory deduction from john's pay - Beer C). State one volutary deduction John may or may not pay - Tax Q. Upon asending to the throne the first thing Queen Elizabeth II did was... A. Sit Down Q. What miracle do christians celebrate at easter time? A. Chocolate Q. Where was hadrians wall built? A. Around hadrians garden Q. Why was the berlin wall built? A. Germany was competing with China Q. What happens during a census? A. A man goes from door to door and increases the population and possibly the best of all Q. Explain the process of learning A. A process by which information goes into one ear and out the other.
Lillehamring Posted 26 May 2010 Posted 26 May 2010 Just been reading a book called F in exams. Contains some of the worst exam answers ever/ Q. Explain what is meant by pastoral farming. A. A Farm run by vicars Q. What is the highest frequency sound a human can hear? A. Mariah Carey Q. What does terminal illness mean? A. When you become ill at an airport Q."Powerful aftershocks rocked the city, Fires burned out of control, streets were full of debrisand ruined buildings. At least 30 people were injured". What type of natural disaster is being described by the report? A. The End Of Big Brother. Q. What is a 6 sided polygon know as? A. An empty cage Q.There are 300 students in year 10 and mary & Mark want to find year 10's favourite colour. Mary asked 30 people, Mark asked 150 people. Mark says that his conclusions are more reliable that mary's. Why does mark think he is right? A. Because mark is a man Q. A Car company knocks 50% of the price of a £25,000 car. What is the new price? A. Still too expensive Q. A fashion company decides to locate it's factory near birmingham. Is birmingham the right place for this sort of business? A. No. People from birmingham aren't very fashionable Q. John's net pay is £150. His deductions are £38. A). Calculate Johns gross pay - The money he spends on porn each week B). State one mandatory deduction from john's pay - Beer C). State one volutary deduction John may or may not pay - Tax Q. Upon asending to the throne the first thing Queen Elizabeth II did was... A. Sit Down Q. What miracle do christians celebrate at easter time? A. Chocolate Q. Where was hadrians wall built? A. Around hadrians garden Q. Why was the berlin wall built? A. Germany was competing with China Q. What happens during a census? A. A man goes from door to door and increases the population and possibly the best of all Q. Explain the process of learning A. A process by which information goes into one ear and out the other. that was in a book dear god, i didn't laugh once, they sound like they were made up by a bored geography teacher....
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