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Fosse Boy

LAD

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Posted

True LAD.

Great site, although I'd be surprised if more than 1% of them were true. My favourites so far...

Out with the boys at a cocktail bar. Got talking to a fitty, a number of years my senior, me being 18 at the time. Having a ciggy with her outside, I compliment her on her shoes, craftily knowing the make due to the fountain of feminine bullshit that is my sister and her mates/magazines. She assumes I'm gay straight away and introduces me to her gay mate. I flirt with gay mate. (LAD). Tell her I'm straight, get introduced to her younger sis. Bday girl. Dance with younger sis, pull her downstairs in this bar, get a brief hand-shandy on the dance floor. Went upstairs and ended up having a cheeky "moment" with the older sister. (no full on pulling though. SHIT LAD). Go back to their place (sharing house. i also paid for taxi - last cash of night). Upstairs, start getting frisky. I run down from her bedroom to her bag to get a johnny, in walks her older sister. Cheekily say hello and head upstairs again. Young sis has started spewing wrecked by this point, tells me to leave. Gives me her pants to show the boys. I walk out, slowly, contemplating knocking on her sisters door. she opens her door and invites me in. In I go. Boink. No money, needed a taxi. Went back to the younger sis's handbag, stole a tenner, got a mcdonalds and a taxi home. LAD.

Made the mistake of living with three girls, they kept having a go at me for not washing my dishes up, woke up one morning to find them piled outside my room ... not to worry went away for a couple of weeks unscrewed the toilet seat put it in my room and switched off the boiler (located in my room) then locked it. LAD

A mate, on 99 birds shagged, takes back a girl he'd been for drinks with. We (his housemates) all hide behind furniture in the living room when he came back. He starts his foreplay and asks her if she'd mind if he wore cricket gloves whilst they had sex, since it was a bit of a fetish thing for him. She looked confused but said fine, he goes into bag and puts them on. Then asks if he can wear pads, then finally a helmet. Fully padded up, proceeds to enter her and after about 3 minutes (LAD) comes, flicks on the main light switch. We all pop up from behind the sofa with rousing applause and cries of "THATS THE CENTURY!!", he grabs his cricket bat, removes his helmet and acknowledges the crowd. She bursts into tears, dresses quickly and runs out of the front door. She left her pants. LAD

Posted

Love this site. Anything with the following filth gets my vote

I reckon I've wanked over my girlfriend's Mum as many times as I've shagged her daughter. LAD
Posted

Relax. It isn't real. It's just humour :P

I know some of it isn't real and bit of humour is alright but it's this bit that pisses me off:

Fully padded up, proceeds to enter her and after about 3 minutes (LAD) comes, flicks on the main light switch. We all pop up from behind the sofa with rousing applause and cries of "THATS THE CENTURY!!", he grabs his cricket bat, removes his helmet and acknowledges the crowd. She bursts into tears, dresses quickly and runs out of the front door. She left her pants.

Anyway am I missing something? Why do they keep trying to get knickers? :dunno:

Posted

I really hope that cricket one is true :Dlol

"Had the anal chat with my bird. She says it's a goer if she can roger me with a strap-on first. Deal Noel. LAD"

"Girlfriend suggested we watch a DVD whilst we're on the job to 'spice up' our sex life. Agree to do it as long as both of us get to choose one each. After 10 minutes of her loveless smut I take out her disc and replace it with mine. fooked her from behind whilst watching 50 Greatest England Goals and literally came when David Beckham scored the freekick against Greece. LAD"

lol!

Posted

''Getting a blowie from a chick. She moves her mouth away at just the wrong time causing me to paint her face and hair. After a few awkward seconds all I could think to say was 'whey'. Delighted LAD ''

lol

Posted

Cricket one wins this! lol

Dread to think what he'll do when after he's parked the pink Porsche in another 79 birds. Dress up as Andy Fordham probably.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Not happy about all these "LADette" posts the site's being infested with at the moment.

I instantly shit lad anything that doesn't end in a simple LAD.

Posted

Incredibly bad yet good.

I went upto a girl in the pub the other day and asked her if she had a light. "Yes, I have a light." she replied. "Good." I said. "Turn it on next time you're getting dressed, 'cos you look fooking awful." LAD
Posted

That, Ched, makes me think of the girl walking through Nottingham this afternoon in a pair of teeny denim hotpants, a bra top and a small, bolero type cardigan. Aside from the fact it's still April, she was a) too large to carry off the look, and b) needed to wear hotpants at least one size bigger than the ones she was wearing. :sick:

Posted
I'm in the navy, one night we went out in full gear with all the navy boys. ended up back at a group of girls' house. Everyone got smashed, me and a couple of the chaps ended up passing out in the living room with a few of the girls. I woke up in the middle of the night to see my mate slowly and quietly making his way over to one of the passed out girls. I'm thinking "he's gonna rape her, if i try and stop him he'll destroy me"... I try and put it out of my mind, I see him pulling down her pants, and I'm at the point of fake waking up when I realise he's not raping her, he's just having a shit in her pants. pulls them up, goes back to sleep. LAD

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