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Things I thought I'd never have to do

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Posted

I searched for a similar topic but couldn't find it so here goes.

This is a thread dedicated to those things that you thought you'd never do but life has stuck two giant fingers up to you and forced you to do it.

Before tonight I never thought I'd have to hold someone's poo in my hand but tonight the wee man saw fit to make sure I had to by shitting in the bath. I'd to scoop it out before he tried to eat it.

Posted

i once had to scoop my exes grandads false teeth out of a big pool of spew in the back of a taxi after he had had too much to drink

the taxi driver wasn't very pleased lol

Posted

i once had to scoop my exes grandads false teeth out of a big pool of spew in the back of a taxi after he had had too much to drink

the taxi driver wasn't very pleased lol

Why would you do that? Let her or him get them! :sick:

Posted

Why would you do that? Let her or him get them! :sick:

thats why shs now an ex lol

Posted

I searched for a similar topic but couldn't find it so here goes.

This is a thread dedicated to those things that you thought you'd never do but life has stuck two giant fingers up to you and forced you to do it.

Before tonight I never thought I'd have to hold someone's poo in my hand but tonight the wee man saw fit to make sure I had to by shitting in the bath. I'd to scoop it out before he tried to eat it.

I thought i was the only one to have done that. The mistake i made was pulling the plug out and then the turd spun violently in the whirlpool .

Posted

i once had to scoop my exes grandads false teeth out of a big pool of spew in the back of a taxi after he had had too much to drink

the taxi driver wasn't very pleased lol

I read this as my ex grandad lol didn't want to bring up this strange relationship.

Posted

I searched for a similar topic but couldn't find it so here goes.

This is a thread dedicated to those things that you thought you'd never do but life has stuck two giant fingers up to you and forced you to do it.

Before tonight I never thought I'd have to hold someone's poo in my hand but tonight the wee man saw fit to make sure I had to by shitting in the bath. I'd to scoop it out before he tried to eat it.

That is actually hilarious :crylaugh:

Mine is probably i would never of thought my dog would have humped my arm.

Posted

Fall into a f+++++g cow pat!!! :angry:

On that note, my brother kicked cow shit over me when i was crawling under an electric fence.

Posted

I searched for a similar topic but couldn't find it so here goes.

This is a thread dedicated to those things that you thought you'd never do but life has stuck two giant fingers up to you and forced you to do it.

Before tonight I never thought I'd have to hold someone's poo in my hand but tonight the wee man saw fit to make sure I had to by shitting in the bath. I'd to scoop it out before he tried to eat it.

Thats brought back memories with my kids.

My wife shit herself when giving birth,i can remember frantically clearing it up,when she asked whether she had shit herself,i said "no,darling"

"you liar i can smell it" oh we do laugh about it now,but at the time she nearly snapped my cock off,as if it was my fault!!

Posted

Before tonight I never thought I'd have to hold someone's poo in my hand but tonight the wee man saw fit to make sure I had to by shitting in the bath. I'd to scoop it out before he tried to eat it.

Do you not own a sieve or something like that? lol My son did that when he was a baby made the ex "fish" it out

Posted

another not very nice story

when i was 13 ,we had an Alsation dog which was about 20 years old,anyway the poor old fellas legs had gone and could no longer walk so my parents arranged for the vet to come round and take him away

my parents had to go out and left me at home with the dog,when the vet came he actually made me comfort the dog whilst he gave it the lethal injection.once the dog had passed awat,i then had to hold the bag open for him to put the dog into ! :o

to say i was traumatised would be an understatement :blink:

Posted

On that note, my brother kicked cow shit over me when i was crawling under an electric fence.

shouldn't have been crawling under an electric fence then - they're there for a reason

Posted

Do you not own a sieve or something like that? lol My son did that when he was a baby made the ex "fish" it out

No point in being squeamish - I just had to man up.

Posted

Someone post the link to the thread about me scooping Fez's sick out my sink. It's a doozy.

(I'm on my phone so can't do it)

You traumatised me with that.

Posted

'Attaining free alcohol' from my old employers, returning a week after I'd left for someone's leaving drinks.

Leaning over the bar with a glass when no one's around and craftily pouring yourself a pint is extremely rewarding, particularly when they've screwed you over and witheld your final wage without consent.

I felt like Tony Montana. I had to do it.

Posted

After a collosal house party I once shovelled shit out of a blocked toilet in my house in 2nd year of uni using a plastic measuring jug in return for a bag of weed.

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