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jonthefox

Where did you lose your virginity?.

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Guest Bilo
Posted

So we're decided.

Prussian either popped his cherry in a four star hotel or a furniture store.

Good work if it's the latter. :thumbup:

Guest Bilo
Posted

I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR A SAMPLE BED!!!

laugh.gif

(It was at her place and the bed wasn't from Argos)

My parents reliably informed me I once urinated in a sample bathroom in B&Q aged about 4.

Jackass nicked the idea for their movie. I should get royalties.

Posted

Beach Front hotel in Cambodia with a pole dancer.

not how it sounds, promise.

How much did she cost and was she good at dancing on your pole?

Posted

How much did she cost and was she good at dancing on your pole?

i did specify it was 'not how it sounds' as she was gettin the beers in all night & bought me breakfast in the morning. She was some wealthy exotic dancer where i was just a young budget backpacker.

and yes, yes she was

Posted

i did specify it was 'not how it sounds' as she was gettin the beers in all night & bought me breakfast in the morning. She was some wealthy exotic dancer where i was just a young budget backpacker.

and yes, yes she was

Jealous Much.

Some of these stories are edging me to start a 'what's your sexual fantasy' thread, never really thought about it until a friend of mine a few weeks ago went on about his and made me realise I didn't have one :(

In case you're interested, he wanted to meet some beautiful girl in a nightclub and go back to hers only to find she was a gypsy and lived in a caravan. Noone else is in so they go in and start getting down to it. Just as they were climaxing together he'd hear the family van pull up outside and he has to jump out of the back window, half naked and gets chased away by the family. Obviously he manages to outrun them and escapes.

Strange lad.

Posted

Boring. In my bed.

It kinda happened by accident though, was just fooling about and the next minute, bam. Halfway through decided to whack a jonny on just to be on the safe side and I hear my mam pull up in the car outside. Blue balls on your first time, not cool.

Posted

Beach Front hotel in Cambodia with a pole dancer.

not how it sounds, promise.

A cambodian pole dancer! lol

Were you checked for any std's after?

Guest Bilo
Posted

A cambodian pole dancer! lol

Were you checked for any std's after?

Was going to say. lol

Probably the one and only time you'd be inclined to double wrap.

Posted

We had it all worked out.

We were both 17, both virgins and her mother was out this particular Sunday afternoon.

My partner's 14 year-old brother was out playing with his mates so the coast was clear.

All went fine, The one-eyed milkman had just been sick in his bag when the brother came bounding up the stairs calling his sister's name.

Quick as a flash I leapt off the bed to block his entry into the room.

Too late. As I got to the door he flung it open to see me stark b*llock naked with my overcoated clunge plunger standing before him.

I don't know what he thought but he turned and ran out of the house and up the street never to be seen again - well not until his mum came home anyway.

Guest Basildon Fox
Posted

We had it all worked out.

We were both 17, both virgins and her mother was out this particular Sunday afternoon.

My partner's 14 year-old brother was out playing with his mates so the coast was clear.

All went fine, The one-eyed milkman had just been sick in his bag when the brother came bounding up the stairs calling his sister's name.

Quick as a flash I leapt off the bed to block his entry into the room.

Too late. As I got to the door he flung it open to see me stark b*llock naked with my overcoated clunge plunger standing before him.

I don't know what he thought but he turned and ran out of the house and up the street never to be seen again - well not until his mum came home anyway.

lol

Mine was an outside toilet at a party at a mates house.

Posted

We had it all worked out.

We were both 17, both virgins and her mother was out this particular Sunday afternoon.

My partner's 14 year-old brother was out playing with his mates so the coast was clear.

All went fine, The one-eyed milkman had just been sick in his bag when the brother came bounding up the stairs calling his sister's name.

Quick as a flash I leapt off the bed to block his entry into the room.

Too late. As I got to the door he flung it open to see me stark b*llock naked with my overcoated clunge plunger standing before him.

I don't know what he thought but he turned and ran out of the house and up the street never to be seen again - well not until his mum came home anyway.

lol lol lol lol

Guest Bilo
Posted

Expect whisky fuelled orgies, Croatian supermodels, an angry policeman and a gun wielding Albanian pimp to be involved.

Posted

Expect whisky fuelled orgies, Croatian supermodels, an angry policeman and a gun wielding Albanian pimp to be involved.

lol all at the age of 12 or something. I love and Empty story. He's like a depraved Jackanory.

Posted

Expect whisky fuelled orgies, Croatian supermodels, an angry policeman and a gun wielding Albanian pimp to be involved.

Isn't that just a normal Saturday night?

Posted

We had it all worked out.

We were both 17, both virgins and her mother was out this particular Sunday afternoon.

My partner's 14 year-old brother was out playing with his mates so the coast was clear.

All went fine, The one-eyed milkman had just been sick in his bag when the brother came bounding up the stairs calling his sister's name.

Quick as a flash I leapt off the bed to block his entry into the room.

Too late. As I got to the door he flung it open to see me stark b*llock naked with my overcoated clunge plunger standing before him.

I don't know what he thought but he turned and ran out of the house and up the street never to be seen again - well not until his mum came home anyway.

lol

In a skanky bed flea infested bed at a house party in Newcastle.

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