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Daggers

UK Citizenship Test

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Posted

Admittedly, I didn't even know how many days a year the kids were at school. :blush:

My dad is an ex teacher, only retired a few years ago but he didn't know that either.

Posted

http://www.privateislandsonline.com/isla-gatun-panama.htm

Just off the coast of Panama, currently up for sale for just £18,000 approx and subject to exchange rate fluctuations, so probably £25k next week. :P

Perhaps if all of us who have failed the test, and it does appear to be everyone who has taken it, were to chip in a bit we could found The People's Republic of FoxesTalk here.

I shall make the following laws as leader of this great new country.

1. The Leader's full title shall be "His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Bilo The Great, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of Shit-Brained Trolls on the Internet in General and FoxesTalk in Particular." This is shamelessly lifted from Idi Amin but I'm nabbing it, cos it sounds great.

2. Text Speak shall be punishable by dragging.

3. Setting up Sack Sven threads shall be punishable not by death but by the far worse fate of writing down in a calligraphic format every single post made on every Nicky Maynard thread. Twice.

4. Porn shall become a legal requirement.

5. Foreigners, in this case people who support other teams, shall be subject to strict immigration tests. Basically if you aren't RedHux, Tartan Owl, Lamby or POTC; you probably aren't coming in. If you support Bristol City, Plymouth or Coventry we'll sink your fvcking boat on the way in.

Any more laws while we're at it? Panama's a lovely place y'know, you'd love it.

Posted

http://www.privateis...atun-panama.htm

Just off the coast of Panama, currently up for sale for just £18,000 approx and subject to exchange rate fluctuations, so probably £25k next week. :P

Perhaps if all of us who have failed the test, and it does appear to be everyone who has taken it, were to chip in a bit we could found The People's Republic of FoxesTalk here.

I shall make the following laws as leader of this great new country.

1. The Leader's full title shall be "His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Bilo The Great, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of Shit-Brained Trolls on the Internet in General and FoxesTalk in Particular." This is shamelessly lifted from Idi Amin but I'm nabbing it, cos it sounds great.

2. Text Speak shall be punishable by dragging.

3. Setting up Sack Sven threads shall be punishable not by death but by the far worse fate of writing down in a calligraphic format every single post made on every Nicky Maynard thread. Twice.

4. Porn shall become a legal requirement.

5. Foreigners, in this case people who support other teams, shall be subject to strict immigration tests. Basically if you aren't RedHux, Tartan Owl, Lamby or POTC; you probably aren't coming in. If you support Bristol City, Plymouth or Coventry we'll sink your fvcking boat on the way in.

Any more laws while we're at it? Panama's a lovely place y'know, you'd love it.

who died and appointed you supreme leader of all things?

Posted

Who died?

Anybody who dares question my omnipotence.

That's omnipotence, not the other word that sounds a bit like it but means something completely different and is actually rather embarrassing.

You shall clean the septic tank Sonny Boy!

Posted

http://www.privateislandsonline.com/isla-gatun-panama.htm

Just off the coast of Panama, currently up for sale for just £18,000 approx and subject to exchange rate fluctuations, so probably £25k next week. :P

Perhaps if all of us who have failed the test, and it does appear to be everyone who has taken it, were to chip in a bit we could found The People's Republic of FoxesTalk here.

I shall make the following laws as leader of this great new country.

1. The Leader's full title shall be "His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Bilo The Great, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of Shit-Brained Trolls on the Internet in General and FoxesTalk in Particular." This is shamelessly lifted from Idi Amin but I'm nabbing it, cos it sounds great.

2. Text Speak shall be punishable by dragging.

3. Setting up Sack Sven threads shall be punishable not by death but by the far worse fate of writing down in a calligraphic format every single post made on every Nicky Maynard thread. Twice.

4. Porn shall become a legal requirement.

5. Foreigners, in this case people who support other teams, shall be subject to strict immigration tests. Basically if you aren't RedHux, Tartan Owl, Lamby or POTC; you probably aren't coming in. If you support Bristol City, Plymouth or Coventry we'll sink your fvcking boat on the way in.

Any more laws while we're at it? Panama's a lovely place y'know, you'd love it.

Do you need any moderators police?

Posted

Weboo For Chief of Police!

So long as you're corrupt.

Corruption is essential.

Posted

Weboo For Chief of Police!

So long as you're corrupt.

Corruption is essential.

Oh. :cry:

Posted

Corruption is essential.

I've corrupted many a young lad. :ph34r:

Oh. :cry:

We'll always need traffic wardens.

Posted

So we've got:

Bilo -President

Webbo - Chief of Police

LargeAl -Head of Army

I nominate AOWW for Home Secretary because a woman's place is in the home. :ph34r:

Posted

I've corrupted many a young lad. :ph34r:

daily_mail_ted.jpg

Posted

I've corrupted many a young lad. :ph34r:

We'll always need traffic wardens.

Bugger off. :angry:

So we've got:

Bilo -President

Webbo - Chief of Police

LargeAl -Head of Army

I nominate AOWW for Home Secretary because a woman's place is in the home. :ph34r:

And you can fuck off too. :glare:

:cry:

Posted

We're discussing positions of power but there is an important question unanswered - will we have an NHS or are we going to go down the american health-care route?

And AOWW - how about secretary of education?

Posted

As me and WTF BBQ scored highest I feel we should be joint leaders.

I think you should both fight to the death to see who should have the privilege of being our leader! :DAnd the rules are...there are no rules.

Weapons ?

I choose dog shit on a stick... I`m a bit of a ninja with it... :ph34r:

Posted

We're discussing positions of power but there is an important question unanswered - will we have an NHS or are we going to go down the american health-care route?

And AOWW - how about secretary of education?

But I wanted a fun job (one with power, not some crappy clown!)

And have you seen the level of intelligence of most FTers... raising standards - talk about an impossible task! :cry:

Posted

But I wanted a fun job (one with power, not some crappy clown!)

And have you seen the level of intelligence of most FTers... raising standards - talk about an impossible task! :cry:

I'm sure we could enlist them in the army and start some pointless, un-winnable war. whistle.gif

Posted

We're discussing positions of power but there is an important question unanswered - will we have an NHS or are we going to go down the american health-care route?

And AOWW - how about secretary of education?

We will have an NHS of sorts. Any doctors who've failed the test?

But I wanted a fun job (one with power, not some crappy clown!)

And have you seen the level of intelligence of most FTers... raising standards - talk about an impossible task! :cry:

I will instigate an IQ test. If your IQ falls below the expected standard, for example you use words like 'innit' as a mark of punctuation, we will not educate you. You shall be used to clean the septic tank. Blimey, this is going to be one squeaky clean septic tank.

Posted

I'm sure we could enlist them in the army and start some pointless, un-winnable war. whistle.gif

This means we will need to make alliances with other forum armies that have a lot of numbnuts posters.

Suggestions?

Posted

No, I want a change of career... it's an island, right, a nice, hot, sunny island! Bagsie running the beach bar. :cool::dance:

Oh, and I'd like to be Head of Pointless Quangos - just so I can have a 'proper' job too. :whistle:^_^

Posted

So we've got:

Bilo -President

Webbo - Chief of Police

LargeAl -Head of Army

I nominate AOWW for Home Secretary because a woman's place is in the home. :ph34r:

Me - I`ll just take a junior post and make the odd appearance on "have i got news for you" and "come dancing"...

We need a flag...

Posted

No, I want a change of career... it's an island, right, a nice, hot, sunny island! Bagsie running the beach bar. :cool::dance:

Oh, and I'd like to be Head of Pointless Quangos - just so I can have a 'proper' job too. :whistle:^_^

Running the beach bar? That's the second most important job after President. Technically, you're now Vice President. Who needs education? We can just get the Daily Mail shipped over and put on the bar, right? :whistle:

Me - I`ll just take a junior post and make the odd appearance on "have i got news for you" and "come dancing"...

We need a flag...

You shall be FoxesTalk's Alan Duncan.

Congratulations to you sir!

Please be aware however that fiddling with expenses shall be punishable by being made to sit near FT's most negative posters at a match. You don't want that.

Posted

Running the beach bar? That's the second most important job after President. Technically, you're now Vice President. Who needs education? We can just get the Daily Mail shipped over and put on the bar, right? :whistle:

You shall be FoxesTalk's Alan Duncan.

Congratulations to you sir!

Please be aware however that fiddling with expenses shall be punishable by being made to sit near FT's most negative posters at a match. You don't want that.

I resign... :huh:

Posted

This means we will need to make alliances with other forum armies that have a lot of numbnuts posters.

Suggestions?

I am uneasy to an alliance with WACCOE and OTIB.

However I've recently been informed that Costa Rica has lots of varieties of parrots, butterflies etc. and no army, we should invade and take that stuff.

Posted

There's better questions to be asked, take it away Foxestalk:

1.

Will a decent party ever gain power and run our country properly?

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