General Smuts Posted 3 December 2011 Posted 3 December 2011 PLEASE READ BEFORE VOTING! (And know that General Smuts loves you) Father Ted Vs isaidno Father Ted Lets make this personal shall we Matt, face it, you look like a dirty sewer rat or El-Hadji Diouf as Warnock reckons, for you I'm afraid the rap scrapheap beckons. You won't be no use, not even on Scrapheap Challenge, I see you wobbling there, don't lose your balance. There ain't no place for you in the next round, 'Cos I'm gonna land you a Haymaker that will ****ing pound! Isaidno Dickov, Isaidno wooooooohhhh Dickov Isaidno. isaidno Father Ted raps like Milli Vanilli You'll need a microscope to see his 1 inch willy He loves Susan Boyle , she gives him an erection This guys a fan of one direction Ted's a special tool , a right monkey wrench He drinks special brew on the local park bench Wasted all of his life in backstreet pubs I'm popping off lyrics like those chavs from N'dubz Over 7000 posts , and they're all just dross I've got more lyrics than Matt & Luke from Bros When will he ,will he be famous ? Not in this lifetime , he'll never entertain us LargeAl Vs General Smuts LargeAl General Smuts, More like a General Slut, The people he walks past just stop and tut. A pretentious indie twat, suprised he doesn't have a penchant for silly hats. Dreams of being a Yeovil Town star, In reality he just flogs cars. Desperate to be ****ed by (Ricky) Sappleton, thinks it would be hella fun, But now I've got him on the run, not gonna walk straight for a week when I'm done. Loves his Ginola hair, talks about it as if people care, That level of dillusion's a bit of a scare. Tries to fix this competition like a boss, Well I think it's about time he registered a loss. Wah-ka! General Smuts This'll be hard, he's well liked. you're LargeAl-coholics, Now I am getting on a bit it less Jaeger and more Horlicks, Rocking similies like a valley girl saying like to much LargeAl fucked Justin Bieber, Al's the bitch, Biebs the butch He was born in the 90s he don't even know about Pogs Missed out on Lion King slammers, when we were young warthogs I was striking on Wednesday but i've always been handsome LargeAl's quite the opposite, spitting image of Esther Rantzen Too controversial i'll Say Anything like Lloyd Dobler Al liked American Pie my balls are in peach cobbler My lyrics fucked up like a jetplane whore house Gave his mum a pirate eye now she looks like Dangermouse Nightguard Vs Vacamion Nightguard Vacamion is strolling down the street With his trousers pulled down low Aint no pretty sight to see his bits The middle part about to flow. Saying are you ready, ready for this Do you want to taste my meat? But his luck ran out when into view Came a policeman on his beat. Copper says Hey you, you are going down Don't you go make a fuss I have got my truncheon out And you I'm gonna bust.. Vacamion fell weeping to his knees Now cured of his lust Copper says Hey stop your crying man Cuz you I'm still gonna bust.. Vacamion Ghetto boys are in da house, stealing all your Christmas bling Cos Nightguard’s on the internet and he doesn’t spot a thing Security was tight, and the alarm bells were all set But MC Nightguard was tossing it off, with his internet [Wiki-wiki-wiki-wiki-wah. Wah-wah-wah.....] Now it’s time for Christmas, and Nightguard’s feeling weird With his uncanny resemblance to Santa, if he’d just shave off his beard Whilst logged on to Foxes Talk, our hero earns his wage Strange how he always seems to lurk the “Chebs” page Spherical Fox Vs Stez Spherical Fox Your articles are farcical And your posts don’t come close Six fingered simpleton with no class or no hope When writing with your pencil dick Never knowing the consequence when Rapping gainst maestro Sphericals Got you rapping in sad forumulas Pulling clichéd lines from down yo drawers I get props for the drops A verbal masterclass Now it’s time for you recognise and kiss my ass. And to you a very Merry Christmas Kimosabe! Stez spherical will need clerical, medical after this brawl, he thinks i've dropped the ball coming in late doors with my ryhmes in lines while he pines and whines, 'bout his lack of spine(s) you've probably guessed i don't no the first think about the chap i'll just keep wih this flip, flap, clap trap, crap so i can zap him on his chin strap, of his stupid hat, that that and it's shat. Get Voting! (For me please)
General Smuts Posted 3 December 2011 Author Posted 3 December 2011 lol Rapping about Pogs = instant credibility. My rymes are so retro theyre like peeing with your pants round your ankles. Or the Sega Master System.
Vacamion Posted 3 December 2011 Posted 3 December 2011 a) What happened to two verses of four lines? and b) I voted Nightguard, despite his rap suggesting that I indulge in outdoors homosexual fellatio (I'm an indoors man, myself) .
General Smuts Posted 3 December 2011 Author Posted 3 December 2011 I apologise I forget that some people don't know that Smuts rules are interchangeable and set more in water than stone.
Finnegan Posted 3 December 2011 Posted 3 December 2011 Basically, however many rounds Karl loses - he still goes through.
sphericalfox Posted 3 December 2011 Posted 3 December 2011 I apologise I forget that some people don't know that Smuts rules are interchangeable and set more in water than stone. 2 days late and stez enters a rap that would make Dr. Seuss embarrassed, I'd say that's about right.
Finnegan Posted 3 December 2011 Posted 3 December 2011 2 days late and stez enters a rap that would make Dr. Seuss embarrassed, I'd say that's about right. The one that's beating you?
General Smuts Posted 3 December 2011 Author Posted 3 December 2011 Basically, however many rounds Karl loses - he still goes through. Ok so there is one rule thats set in stone.
sphericalfox Posted 3 December 2011 Posted 3 December 2011 The one that's beating you? I'm extremely upset by this. I might have to rap down a toilet in unadulterated fury.
isaidno Posted 3 December 2011 Posted 3 December 2011 Isaidno Do I need to explain to the younger foxestalkers who milli vanilli and Bros are ?
Bert Posted 3 December 2011 Posted 3 December 2011 This competition is a Joke! How can someone lose and still go through?
General Smuts Posted 3 December 2011 Author Posted 3 December 2011 This competition is a Joke! How can someone lose and still go through? There was an uneven amount of entrants. 5 going through to the next round didn't work and 4 going through would have been too harsh on whoever won thier round and didn't get through. Hardly rocket science misery guts.
The Doctor Posted 3 December 2011 Posted 3 December 2011 There was an uneven amount of entrants. 5 going through to the next round didn't work and 4 going through would have been too harsh on whoever won thier round and didn't get through. Hardly rocket science misery guts. neither is being able to count and realising there's an uneven number of entrants to get through.
Rincewind Posted 4 December 2011 Posted 4 December 2011 Boo looks like I'm out. My best was still to come.
General Smuts Posted 5 December 2011 Author Posted 5 December 2011 Congrats to Stez, isaidno, Vacamion and Myself for getting to the semis! Will draw the ties later today.
General Smuts Posted 5 December 2011 Author Posted 5 December 2011 wuhoo! You have Nick to thank. His last vote sealed your fate. Also - Note to self - more raps about 90s playground games.
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