Zingari Posted 3 February 2012 Posted 3 February 2012 i quite liked it WTF so i've had a go Housewives ! Cut the cost of expensive muesli breakfast cereal by adding woodshavings and wild birdseed to to the mixture . A couple of teaspoons of windowlene in a jug of water makes an excellent milk substitute
I am Rod Hull Posted 3 February 2012 Posted 3 February 2012 i quite liked it WTF so i've had a go Housewives ! Cut the cost of expensive muesli breakfast cereal by adding woodshavings and wild birdseed to to the mixture . A couple of teaspoons of windowlene in a jug of water makes an excellent milk substitute Home made top tips only from now on...
cambridgefox Posted 3 February 2012 Author Posted 3 February 2012 Home made top tips only from now on... pretend you are a women driver by not indicating,not using all the gears and flicking your hair every 30 seconds.
Saxondale Posted 4 February 2012 Posted 4 February 2012 MOTORISTS: Invest in a cool bag, some ice packs and a pig's heart from your local butcher, which you should keep on your passenger seat in order to provide an explanation for your apparently undue speed when questioned by traffic police.
ozleicester Posted 4 February 2012 Posted 4 February 2012 Home made top tips only from now on... Save money on expensive magazines or computers, by making up your own top tips and just saying them to yourself
Zingari Posted 4 February 2012 Posted 4 February 2012 Homebuyers! Save thousands of pounds on buying a house by convincing the owners that the house is haunted. Get a couple of friends to visit the house prior to you to secrete mobile phones with blood curdling screams, evil laughter and howling as ring tones. (They could put them in the loft or back of airing cupboards). Tell your friends to leave looking distraught and saying they can feel there are evil spirits in the house and do not wish to be in the house a moment longer. Over the next few weeks keep randomly calling the mobile phones in the middle of the night and then visit the house and offer the owners a lot less than the asking price due to rumours that the place is haunted. Whoooooooooooooo!!
Len Finsbury Posted 4 February 2012 Posted 4 February 2012 Save yourself the cost of expensive address books by simply crossing out all the people that you don't know from the BT phonebook.
cambridgefox Posted 4 February 2012 Author Posted 4 February 2012 Pretend youre a Coventry fan by breaking into the Ricoh at night sitting on your own and going home sobbing!
I am Rod Hull Posted 4 February 2012 Posted 4 February 2012 Ladies.. Save money on expensive pearl earrings by licking one side of a couple of mint imperials and sticking them to your lobes..
Zingari Posted 5 February 2012 Posted 5 February 2012 Victims of burglary ? Don't waste time calling the police , they won't bother to come . Simply get in your car and drive around erratically as if you are drunk until a patrol car starts to follow you , and then lead the police car in a high speed chase to your home to inform them of the burglary.
I am Rod Hull Posted 5 February 2012 Posted 5 February 2012 Kids... protect yourself from Pedophiles by drawing a moustache on your face with a felt tip pen and walk around waving a "the circus is coming to town" banner, therefore fooling them into believing that you are a freaky dwarf... *May attract dwarf fiddlers...
Zingari Posted 5 February 2012 Posted 5 February 2012 Drivers !! Don't get stuck in traffic if you are late for work . Simply call the fire brigade and tell them your place of work is on fire and follow the fire engine as it speeds through
FoxyPV Posted 5 February 2012 Posted 5 February 2012 PATIENTS: save yourself time and energy by, instead of going to hospital, putting on a white coat and ignoring yourself for several hours before giving yourself a placebo
FoxyPV Posted 6 February 2012 Posted 6 February 2012 MIDDLE AGE MEN: If you fancy a change from heterosexuality and are due a prostate exam, combine the two by getting a random man in a bush to check your prostate with his penis, thus saving yourself an embarrassing trip to your GP.
Saxondale Posted 21 March 2012 Posted 21 March 2012 Not mine, but funny: RECREATE the danger of a parachute jump in safety by visiting Google Earth and clicking the scroll bar until you reach the ground. Add realism to the exercise by putting a fan on blowing full in your face. GENTS. SAVE yourself embarrassment on washday. Place a strip of 1-inch wide sellotape in the gusset of your underpants every morning. This can simply be wiped clean after any unfortunate accidents. LADY DRIVERS. Draw a little diagram on a Post-it showing the position of the hand brake and gearstick, and stick it to your dashboard. This will save you having to look for them when the lights go green. NEWLYWEDS. Act in a surreptitious manner from the start of your marriage so as not to attract suspicion when you do have an affair. HOUSEWIVES. Wean your husbands onto raw eggs without them realising by removing the sand from your egg timer one grain at a time.
jonthefox Posted 21 March 2012 Posted 21 March 2012 One of the very few threads ive read from start to finish.
NeilyBoy Posted 23 March 2012 Posted 23 March 2012 Scare the shit out of your fellow motorists: Don a pair of sunglasses and drive around with a Labrador in a hi-vis doggy jacket.
Saxondale Posted 23 March 2012 Posted 23 March 2012 BOILED EGGS cut in half vertically, and with the yolk removed, make ideal miniature porcelain-style urinals for hamsters and guinea pigs. LOST ALL the balls for your table football? Simply fill it with water and hey presto! - an exciting synchronised swimming game for all the family.
acooling08 Posted 23 March 2012 Posted 23 March 2012 Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin. RAPPERS: Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place. If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
UpTheLeagueFox Posted 23 March 2012 Posted 23 March 2012 If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed. Fook me, I laughed out loud at that !!
Saxondale Posted 15 April 2012 Posted 15 April 2012 MARS BAR fans. Buy a Snickers bar and pick out the peanuts. Hey presto, a Mars bar and a handful of peanuts, all for the price of a Snickers.
I am Rod Hull Posted 15 April 2012 Posted 15 April 2012 Orange party balloons make ideal space hoppers for premature babies. (that`s mine )
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