Dealing with grief

[Matt]

Sorry to hear about this, I was 8 when my dad died, tbh I think I was too young to really understand, I was obviously sad and upset but I seemed to just get on with things, some people deal this way, sounds hard, sounds like you're not bothered or don't really care, I do, but i'd rather be occupied with something, I have always reacted this way since when i've lost someone close to me.

Unfortunatly though, I do think i'd be a different person if it didn't happen to me so young, I think i'd be alot more confident and outgoing, I think I lost alot of that, at the same time I think i'm a stronger person and had to grow up faster for it.

There is no correct way to act, you act as you need too and feel.

My friends dad died a few months before mine, so it was quite good in a way we could talk together, understand and support each other, we still do now.

I don't mind talking about it, but do find it hard to explain the situation when someone says something like 'So what does your dad do?' or jokes about your dad or family (It happens) when they don't know he had died, not because i'm upset or anything, because for some reason I feel embaressed, I think it's more embaressment for how they feel when I tell them.

[Haydos]

I don't mind talking about it, but do find it hard to explain the situation when someone says something like 'So what does your dad do?' or jokes about your dad or family (It happens) when they don't know he had died, not because i'm upset or anything, because for some reason I feel embaressed, I think it's more embaressment for how they feel when I tell them.

This gets right on my nerves. I usually end up ignoring it if it's a joke. If you say to them "Oh, my dad's dead actually", there's just nothing to gain from it apart from making them feel like a twat. It's just as bad when someone asks about him, I just have to tell them and jump in there before they start getting really sorry and wondering if they've offended you. I've asked friends to just mention it quietly to other friends that don't know before, I don't really like confrontation in that scenario.

[The Year Of The Fox]

Horrible news to hear. Genuinely can't imagine how you're feeling. Just try and stay strong for your mum and any siblings. You're only young but having you there trying to be supportive will help them and you will feel better about yourself. As horrid as it sounds, they should be your priority now and obviously it'd be what your dad wanted. Surround yourself with your friends and tell them you need their help to get through. As someone said they will probably try to avoid you for fear of not knowing what to say.

[Salieri]

Having read through the topic I can't really offer any more advice than what has already been said, particularly from those who have gone through this at a similar age.

I can only offer my sincere condolences on your loss, it must be extremely hard to cope with at such a young age.

[Head Honcho]

Sad times mate my condolences to you and your family.

Found out a good friend of mine only 25 years of age died of a heart attack last week.

Take strength from those around you and be strong for them too.

[harryboi72]

thank you everybody,i will take a look at the links and see if there any help,i just need to carry on and make my dad proud,he would want me to stay strong and put the rest of family first and make sure they are ok

[I am Rod Hull]

14 is no age to lose a parent.

Like many have already said, family and time are the greatest healers.

[NorthernFox]

Lost my mam (42) when i was 20. Lost my dad two years ago to C (67). Lost a twin daughter in 1993 after four days (Chelsea 1lbs 13ozs). Her sister Natasha (1lbs 10ozs survived). Cry a lot, hug friends as much as possible. Miss them all so much. Nothing prepares you for death. Ever.

Sorry for your loss harryboi. Be strong, take care, thoughts with you and yours. Si

[HEGGSY]

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thank you everybody,i will take a look at the links and see if there any help,i just need to carry on and make my dad proud,he would want me to stay strong and put the rest of family first and make sure they are ok<br />

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Stay strong kid.

[cambridgefox]

Im just 14 and yesterday my dad died,im really struggling at the moment,i just wondered if anybody on here had been through a similar thing at a young age and how you managed to deal with it,please,im just looking for helpful advice

Im really sorry to hear your sad news.My dad died last year but im 40 and he was 66 so although sad it was nowhere near as tragic as what you are going through.Davie G summed it up well about people avoiding you,its up to you but i asked my workmates to not avoid me and treat me as normal,but everyone is different.Feel free to pm me if you want to.Be there for the rest of your family and support each other DONT feel like you have to take it all on yourself.its ok to cry.Thinking of you and your family

[SystonFox]

Sorry to hear of your loss my young friend. When I was 12 (25 now) a close friend of mine died in a road accident and that was hard. Fond memories of him.

In 2010 my sisters best friend died in a bus crash in south Africa and that hit me hard too. She was a family friend and I still struggle now and I barely knew her myself.

And last Wednesday I was told a former colleague has terminal lung cancer and only has 2-3 weeks to live at best. Finding that hard to deal with but going to visit him Wednesday hopefully. He's 47.

I hope you can feel better soon and things are easier for you. It will get easier with time I promise. All these lovely people of FT are here to help and offer any advice so don't be afraid to use it. All the best

[Thracian]

Im just 14 and yesterday my dad died,im really struggling at the moment,i just wondered if anybody on here had been through a similar thing at a young age and how you managed to deal with it,please,im just looking for helpful advice

There is no avoiding the heart-wrenching loss of a loved one but there are things that can help. The main thing, rather than to grieve about his death, is to celebrate his life. Think about why you loved him so much and use that knowledge to enhance the goodness of your own life. In so doing, a part of him will always live on in you and you will be able to appreciate him and think about him with affection through all your days.

Another thing is to turn a negative into a positive and be determined to make him proud of you. Some people laugh at the concept of spirit but if you carry the feeling of his spirit within you then you can use it as an incentive and a spur to action - and to being everything you can.