Ridiculous Detention Slips

[Trav Le Bleu]

I have every "sametime" (the awful lotus notes version of messenger) conversation I have had saved for posterity, including me saying things like, are you should I should do this as it goes against protocol, and my boss saying, yes, it is urgent it needs doing now, there isn't time for getting proper authorisation.

Ok...

I also have his login and password, so if I need to do something I really don't want to get caught doing, I do it in his name.

Like many religions then?

[FoxesAreBlue]

What is it that you do Shraps?

[Captain...]

What is it that you do Shraps?

Technical name for it is business systems analyst, but I've been pushed into a more helpdesk support role at the moment.

Basically I know a piece of software really well, so I am involved in implementing the software, training people on how to use it, configuring it and changing it to meet the business needs, and then supporting them after they have started using it.

The software is similar to SAP, it is an integrated solution, that large companies use to control sales, purchasing, manufacturing, finance, logistics, planning and all the other crap that businesses do such as HR.

At the moment I am contracting, so I don't get bored stuck in the same place the whole time, but it is a risk as you never know which cvnts you've worked with before will end up on the same contract as you, or which new wankers you will meet, but at least it is never dull...

Anyway, sorry for boring you, I bet you regret asking now

[Guest MattP]

I have every "sametime" (the awful lotus notes version of messenger) conversation I have had saved for posterity, including me saying things like, are you should I should do this as it goes against protocol, and my boss saying, yes, it is urgent it needs doing now, there isn't time for getting proper authorisation.

Very smart thing to do, most jobs I have taken I've ended up with an idiot as my manager, hard copies of their stupidity is an absolute must.

Be interesting to see your alternative to SAP, I've only ever really used that and I thought it was a database/system that could be massively improved upon.

[Captain...]

Very smart thing to do, most jobs I have taken I've ended up with an idiot as my manager, hard copies of their stupidity is an absolute must.

Be interesting to see your alternative to SAP, I've only ever really used that and I thought it was a database/system that could be massively improved upon.

It's called Movex, or recently rebranded to M3, from what I have seen of SAP, it is superior but more complex, but in both cases, it depends on the people you get in, it is very easy to start fvcking around with the source code with poorly planned and specced modifications and up with a slow crappy system that is full of bugs.

The advantage of SAP is that it is highly configurable but you need to get the right "experts" in to set it up correctly in the first place to get the best out of it.

There is always so much good stuff that people never use, because they don't know how to get the best for the business, companies think buying this kind of software is a fix to their problems, but it isn't and if not managed correctly can create a whole host of knew ones that are not in anyway set-up to deal with.

I've been on good and bad projects, but every time end up thinking, they would have been much better off sticking with their old system and not paying millions to implement this badly.

[Guest MattP]

I can completely believe that, I worked for a fairly well known jewellers a while back and the amount we spent upgrading to SAP was absolutely ridiculous and in hindsight wasn't even needed that badly, not to mention spending all the money implementing it and not even training your staff properly to use it.

[Captain...]

I can completely believe that, I worked for a fairly well known jewellers a while back and the amount we spent upgrading to SAP was absolutely ridiculous and in hindsight wasn't even needed that badly, not to mention spending all the money implementing it and not even training your staff properly to use it.

Well the main benefit that sap and other systems give you is an integrated central platform for all your finances, this means that big multinational companies can all be operated financially out of one geographical location, I bet you'll never guess where they choose to base their financial hubs...

...hint they have very low taxes and a penchant for chocolate.

[Daggers]

But it is not the making of a mistake that is the problem, it is how you deal with it, do you let your pupils continue to believe something that is untrue, and just chuck the guy in detention who points it out, or do you correct your mistake and risk being humiliated.

Depends how they do it, I guess.

[Guest MattP]

Well the main benefit that sap and other systems give you is an integrated central platform for all your finances, this means that big multinational companies can all be operated financially out of one geographical location, I bet you'll never guess where they choose to base their financial hubs...

...hint they have very low taxes and a penchant for chocolate.

Not a surprise at all!

[FoxesAreBlue]

Anyway, sorry for boring you, I bet you regret asking now

It is interesting however, as I'm sure you're aware from my many questions about computers - I can be a complete dumbass at times with computers!

Once I've been shown a programme once I can usually pick it up well but when it comes to anything technical in fooked!

[Fox96]

If schools are supposed to equip students with the skills required for work, then learning to quietly accept idiotic opinions and decisions from supposed superiors is a pretty good start.

This

But anyway, a couple weeks back i got an hours detention without warning for wearing a bracelet. Bit over the top.

[Trav Le Bleu]

Well the main benefit that sap and other systems give you is an integrated central platform for all your finances, this means that big multinational companies can all be operated financially out of one geographical location, I bet you'll never guess where they choose to base their financial hubs...

...hint they have very low taxes and a penchant for chocolate.

Women?

[FoxesAreBlue]

I once got 2 lunch times because my bag accidentally knocked some books on the floor.

My form tutor saw me and asked why I was in DT so I told her what had happened and she let me off.

Next thing I know I got 3 afterschools from the original teacher bacause she thought I asked to get out of it!!!!

However justice was done as it was the last week before christmas and as she posted the letter too late for my parents to get it in time and by the time the new term started it was too late.

Boring story really

[MPH]

I once got my mate detention when we were at Lanky boys...

At the time , im guessing it still is.. but it was totally forbidden to eat in the classroom... well we had those old style wooden desks still back then... i had one of those long 'HEAD' bags ( as we called them) as it was PE later and put it in our two desks - it completly hid us if we leaned forward... well i brought out two Marathons ( snickers) nudged john gave him one and started eating as we leaned forward. We felt like absolute bad asses!!!. Anyway. I rammed mine down and then waited until the teacher was near by then shouted her name " Hey! Mrs White!" and at that precise time I whipped that bag out of the desks at the same time she turned round. So there is John, all wide eyed with a marathon hanging out of his mouth RIGHT in front of the teacher. Completly caught. Nothing he could of done about it. He just sat there. couldnt say a thing.. Mrs White just shouts at him " GET OUT! GET OUT!!!" As im about wetting myself next to him. He just got up and walked out. Course as the lesson nearly came to the end i was starting to bob myself as John was waiting outside ... I just walked out the room and walked quickly in the opposite direction not even looking at hime..... he came up to me all smiling and laughing and just said " Nice one, Matt... well done... that was quality!"

Felt quite proud!

[SOCCERROO FOX]

A mate and i were getting a detention once for not bringing our PE uniforms as he was tearing shreds off us, a bird did one of the biggest shits on the PE teachers head. Mate and I started laughing and my mate actually dropped to the ground he was laughing that hard. Our PE teacher hadn't notice and was getting more angry cos we were laughing, it wasn't until the other PE teachers came over near us that they started laughing and pointed it out. Our PE teacher then ran off to clean himself up and ended up missing half the lessson.

Also the same PE teacher that tried to give me a detention if i didn't finish the 1.2km fitness run as i had run a 100m and walked back to the start. He refused to believe that i had actually injured myself. When i came back to school on the monday on crutches with a note and a photo copy of xrays showing i had 2 clean breaks in my foot he still tried to claim i could of finished the run.

[MooseBreath]

I once got my mate detention when we were at Lanky boys...

At the time , im guessing it still is.. but it was totally forbidden to eat in the classroom... well we had those old style wooden desks still back then... i had one of those long 'HEAD' bags ( as we called them) as it was PE later and put it in our two desks - it completly hid us if we leaned forward... well i brought out two Marathons ( snickers) nudged john gave him one and started eating as we leaned forward. We felt like absolute bad asses!!!. Anyway. I rammed mine down and then waited until the teacher was near by then shouted her name " Hey! Mrs White!" and at that precise time I whipped that bag out of the desks at the same time she turned round. So there is John, all wide eyed with a marathon hanging out of his mouth RIGHT in front of the teacher. Completly caught. Nothing he could of done about it. He just sat there. couldnt say a thing.. Mrs White just shouts at him " GET OUT! GET OUT!!!" As im about wetting myself next to him. He just got up and walked out. Course as the lesson nearly came to the end i was starting to bob myself as John was waiting outside ... I just walked out the room and walked quickly in the opposite direction not even looking at hime..... he came up to me all smiling and laughing and just said " Nice one, Matt... well done... that was quality!"

Felt quite proud!

And then you went round the back of the bike sheds and had a good long bum, right?

[Jon the Hat]

Technical name for it is business systems analyst, but I've been pushed into a more helpdesk support role at the moment.

Basically I know a piece of software really well, so I am involved in implementing the software, training people on how to use it, configuring it and changing it to meet the business needs, and then supporting them after they have started using it.

The software is similar to SAP, it is an integrated solution, that large companies use to control sales, purchasing, manufacturing, finance, logistics, planning and all the other crap that businesses do such as HR.

At the moment I am contracting, so I don't get bored stuck in the same place the whole time, but it is a risk as you never know which cvnts you've worked with before will end up on the same contract as you, or which new wankers you will meet, but at least it is never dull...

Anyway, sorry for boring you, I bet you regret asking now

Yeah that sounds like a systems implementation team.

[Guest]

Detention.

We just used to get caned.

[Guest]

Detention.

We just used to get caned.

Smoking weed hardly seems like a punishment

[Guest]

Smoking weed hardly seems like a punishment

Raw nettles - makes the lips sting.