21st Century Fox Posted 24 September 2012 Posted 24 September 2012 We need to combine this with the thousands of other threads that have descended into puns.
Zingari Posted 24 September 2012 Posted 24 September 2012 We need to combine this with the thousands of other threads that have descended into puns. the mods would find that too grueling
I am Rod Hull Posted 24 September 2012 Posted 24 September 2012 the mods would find that too grueling We`ll just have to wheat and see.
Zingari Posted 24 September 2012 Posted 24 September 2012 We`ll just have to wheat and see. thyme alone will tell
Daggers Posted 24 September 2012 Posted 24 September 2012 I'm an ex-tractor fan. Yeh, so fvck you it's not a pun. It's still one of the best punchlines in the world.
The Year Of The Fox Posted 25 September 2012 Author Posted 25 September 2012 It wasn't Jeds time to burst just yet but Raquel was nearing the vinegar strokes. The dog was barking like mad as Raquel let out an enormous scream as she climaxed. Jed turned her over and entered her from behind and the clapping sound of his hips bouncing off her sculpted ass were very rhythmitic. Jed was going at her like a locomotive getting faster and harder. Enough was enough and he withdrew his parsnip from her love tunnel. He buried his face in her lady garden and was chewing at her Turkish delight looking landing gear like a dog eating hot chips. Jed worked her into a frenzy as he teased her magic button which now resembled a glacier cherry. She was as wet as an otters pocket and Jed was lapping it up like a cat at a bowl of milk. Jed decided to blow her mind and entered his finger into her marmite canal. Then she screamed with delight as she verged on a climax. Poor Jed, she was a squirter and soaked him. This didn't phase him one bit and he smiled at her with piss like substance dripping off his brow. What Jed hadn't told Raquel during the onslaught of her axe-wound, the dog had worked its way loose and had been licking at his sphincter and bob hole. Filthy hound. Jed was still as hard as granite and wanted to get stuck in again. He bent her legs behind her head so that her converse all star trainers were level with her ears. He plunged his pork dagger deep into her man-hole which took her breath away. He was drilling at her to the poin she thought her va-jj was going to break but she was in ecstasy at the same time. She was squelching like a wet wellington boot. Jed could feel the baby gravy in his balls begin to move into place ready for deployment. He withdrew his battered dip-stick from her ink pot and she took him in her mouth. Jed had reached the point of no return as Raquel was squeezing at his sack whilst doing a right number on his shaft. She was sucking at it like a 90's fat kid with a push pop. Jed hit the vinegar summit and let go, he sprayed bollock batter all over her beautiful face and boobs. His ejaculation was like an explosion and left her looking like a painters radio. She was covered in baby gravy. Jed collapsed on top of her and kissed her spooge covered lips. Raquel had only taken the poodle for a quick walk and had ended up being demolished by Jed. His Wellington boots were still on and she hadn't even noticed. The poor dog had witnessed all of this and was pining for Raquel for some fuss. Jed looked very pleased with himself as he pulled on his overalls and took a swig of tizer from his can. Raquel cleaned herself up and told Jed she'd be seeing him again for a repeat performance. Jed climbed into his John Deere and rumbled off into the field. Raquel waved him goodbye and then walked like a pissed up penguin slowly up the road. She felt like her quim had been vandalised similar to a rocking horse on a public playing field. She was sore but very satisfied as she waddled into the distance.......50 bales of hay at a book store near you soon. feedback is welcome folks so fill your boots.
The Year Of The Fox Posted 25 September 2012 Author Posted 25 September 2012 'left her looking like a painters radio's
Zingari Posted 25 September 2012 Posted 25 September 2012 Interesting, but I was really hoping to learn something about crop rotation in the 14th century
cambridgefox Posted 25 September 2012 Posted 25 September 2012 Interesting, but I was really hoping to learn something about crop rotation in the 14th century The Young Ones "Rick is a Wvnker" I'm sure that was correct when they were on university challenge .
Daggers Posted 25 September 2012 Posted 25 September 2012 Interesting, but I was really hoping to learn something about crop rotation in the 14th century Crop rotation in the 14th century was considerably more wide spread after John.
Wycombe Fox Posted 25 September 2012 Posted 25 September 2012 ...and up rolled Tanni Grey Thompson looking like a shit transformer. AWOOGA!!!
I am Rod Hull Posted 25 September 2012 Posted 25 September 2012 Interesting, but I was really hoping to learn something about crop rotation in the 14th century Whats this?
The Year Of The Fox Posted 26 September 2012 Author Posted 26 September 2012 Chapter 2: The ****ed fridge-freezer It was early on the 2nd of August and in the peak of a heat wave. Jed was up early and was out in the haybarn. He was upto no good, he was peering through a gap in the fence at Felicity Fontague Smythe. She was the young innocent stable hand who was brushing down her horse. Felicity was only 17 and she was so posh she'd never even heard of Bukkake. She was young, fresh and untouched. Jed was hoping to change the latter of that and make sure she knew what life was about. She was bending down and Jed could see the top of her arse poking out of her Jodphurs. He was getting aroused already, it doesn't take much for the filthy farmer. She see's him and knows what he's upto. She has a real crush on the sexy lothario farmer. She makes her way to the haybarn where she finds Jed sitting at the top of the stack smiling and patting the bale next to him. Right now, she had the confidence of Danny Dyer at a gang meeting. She was shaking like a shitting greyhound. She climbed her way to the top and sat beside the hunky farmer. Jed fancied the pants off of Felicity as she was so innocent and her virginal aura made him more on edge. She was from a wealthy family, where as Jed was so inbred he was almost a sandwich. Jed leaned across and kissed her. She melted instantly. She kissed him back. Oh dear oh dear. With just one kiss she was wetter than a dolphins nose. Jed grabbed her and pulled her on top of him. She could feel 'Russell the one eyed muscle' bulging. She'd never even seen a cock before nevermind his skytv-remote sized gadget. He removed her pink chequerd shirt and pulled her close. She was in all sorts of trouble experiencing feelings she'd never known. She was even damper now, wetter than the only lamp post in the dog park. Jed slipped off his overalls revealing his 'one eyed wonder weasel'. He asked her to kiss it. She was so nervous at first, even worse than Tulisa. But within minutes she was sucking at his love length like a pikey syphoning unleaded from an old Peugeot . He pulled off her tight fitting top to reveal two very cute looking breasticles. She had nipples that resembled mini walnut whips. Jed lifted her up and ripped off her riding trousers. She had no knickers on underneath. She was dripping like a ****ed fridge freezer. He thrust his tongue deep into her piss-pit and she was now shaking like an old bloke at a peep show. He licked at her so hard her clit now looked redder than Alex Fergusons nose. She was about to experience something new for the first time. Jed positioned himself infront of her 'felted mound'. Her bush was like Lionel Richies hair. He slowly sunk into her lobster pot, she loved it. She had a fanny like a mouses ear. It was her first time with a man, it may as well have been Jed . He was now hammering her flesh wallet at a right good pace. His mind was as filthy as a builders van and wanted to make her first time one to remember. The chemistry between them was so volatile it was as if chemical Ali had been involved. She was about to reach her first proper sore-gasm and she was almost in tears as it was so intense. Bang, she exploded like a faulty firework. She was in a whole new world right now. Jed pulled her on top of him and told her to ride him like her very own pony. At first she was slow and cautious. As she gained confidence, she got into a good rythm. Jed was struggling to control his purple headed meat monster. She rode him like a bucking bronco, he couldn't take anymore and pulled out, she grabbed at it clumsily like a five pound note in the wind and his cock cannon went off in her hand. He was covered in his own people treacle. There was his salty yoghurt all over the place. She started to lick at it like a dog at its own cock, Jed was in awe. She was an animal waiting to be unleashed. She loved it. Jed felt ultimate accomplishment after He'd deflowered her pansy with his meat mallet. She just lay there hardly moving. Her pink trout trench was in a right state. She was in pain but was also in ecstasy. Her beef curtains now resembled Mick Jaggers lips. Jed lay there staring at Felicitys innocent face which was now flushed after being rutted by the hunky man he admired. She wanted more, much much more......
FoxesAreBlue Posted 26 September 2012 Posted 26 September 2012 "...so inbred he was almost a sandwich..." I actually laughed out loud, fvcking brilliant lol
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.