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Classic Partridge quotes

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Posted

" Lynn, I would say your mother was big-hearted, but, that would be bullshit"

"Hello, I'm a communist with a gun, I hate you lot. I've just thrown the royal family off a plane. Can I use your toilet please?"

"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down!!!! "

"Don't rub your fanny on me! "

"I'm going nowhere, Lynn. Quite literally - I'm on the ring road!"

Dan!

Posted

I love the bit with the meal with Tony Hayes when he's trying to get a second series.

Arm wrestling with Chaz and Dave?

No.

Pity, they were quite up for that one.

SMELL MY CHEESE YOU MOTHER!!

Posted
I love the bit with the meal with Tony Hayes when he's trying to get a second series.

Arm wrestling with Chaz and Dave?

No.

Pity, they were quite up for that one.

SMELL MY CHEESE YOU MOTHER!!

142536[/snapback]

Monkey Tennis?

Posted
,Jul 22 2005, 9:03 PM]I love the bit with the meal with Tony Hayes when he's trying to get a second series.

Arm wrestling with Chaz and Dave?

No.

Pity, they were quite up for that one.

SMELL MY CHEESE YOU MOTHER!!

142536[/snapback]

Monkey Tennis?

142542[/snapback]

Alan: A Partridge Amongst The Pigeons?

Tony: What's that?

Alan: Well, it's just a title, I mean...erm, well, no, erm, opening sequence, me, in Trafalger Square, feeding the pigeons going, "Oh God!"

Tony: No, I'm sorry, no! Stop!

Posted

can some one remove that shit of the stage please? Its ok, I just don't want people to associate me with shit thats all.

I once ran over a fox once, the thing was it wasn't quite dead so i had to go back and finish it off with the jack, the time is 8:52.....

Posted

Had a fascinating chat tonight with a man from Spicksworth, he was convinced that in a previous life he'd been Arthur Askey...I pointed out that his and Askey's life had overlapped...And he backed down. lol

Posted

One of my favourites is

Song on Radio: Does anyone know the way, theres got to be a way to blockbuster!

Alan Partridge: Yes its inbetween Marks and Spencers and Boots

B) lol

Posted
i have never watched it but these qoutes make me think i should

142778[/snapback]

It's the best thing ever, 'things' is a wide genre but it's true!!

There's 6 hours of 'I'm Alan partridge' you need to watch.

Posted

"I hate archers, The Archers and Geoffrey Archer - you're all deceitful cowards...i've just realised this only applies to archers and Geoffrey Archer, but not The Archers, who, to be fair, are a mixed bag"

-------

*After doing a presentation at his old school, talking to his old teacher Frank Rafael*

Alan: "Cut it out with the fancy words mate, tell it like it is - it went tits up. You speak like you're from the middle ages, and you sweat"

Rafael: "I'd like to see you sweat as much over your job as i do over mine"

Alan: "I don't because i use Lynx Africa. Gonna cane me?"

Rafael: "No but i might throw a chair at you"

Alan: "It's still corporal punishment, see you in Strasbourg"

----------

Convoy? Michael your hanging around with a person who uses a collective term for a single object.

___________________

Awesome programme. I've got this video of him in his Day Today days and he's doing commentary to these goals in a world cup preview, hilarious. No idea how to put it on here though, if i was able to anyway.

Posted
"I hate archers, The Archers and Geoffrey Archer - you're all deceitful cowards...i've just realised this only applies to archers and Geoffrey Archer, but not The Archers, who, to be fair, are a mixed bag"

-------

*After doing a presentation at his old school, talking to his old teacher Frank Rafael*

Alan: "Cut it out with the fancy words mate, tell it like it is - it went tits up. You speak like you're from the middle ages, and you sweat"

Rafael: "I'd like to see you sweat as much over your job as i do over mine"

Alan: "I don't because i use Lynx Africa. Gonna cane me?"

Rafael: "No but i might throw a chair at you"

Alan: "It's still corporal punishment, see you in Strasbourg"

----------

Convoy? Michael your hanging around with a person who uses a collective term for a single object.

___________________

Awesome programme. I've got this video of him in his Day Today days and he's doing commentary to these goals in a world cup preview, hilarious. No idea how to put it on here though, if i was able to anyway.

142784[/snapback]

I love his goals commentary on the Day Today!!

SHIT!! TWAT!!

Fantastic :)

"And we live together. We’re not gay. I’ve nothing against them, it’s just, as I see it, God created Adam and Eve. He didn’t create Adam and Steve. I’m kind of a homosceptic."

"Oh, well, yeah. Fantastic. ‘Sunday Bloody Sunday’. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn’t it? You wake up in the morning, you’ve got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you’ve got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think "Sunday, bloody Sunday!"".

BUT MY FAVOURITE

Alan's argument with farmer Peter Baxendale-Thomas

Thanks to Alan Partridge.co.uk for those.

Posted

"What's your favoirite Beatles album then Alan?"

"I'd have to say the Best Of The Beatles." Alan is int he middle of boating about his music knowledge and taste, he is a DJ.

"...and here we have a representitive from the Liberal Democrats, he's Black." Alan prooving what an educated man he is on a live TV political debate.

"'Sunday Bloody Sunday'. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think "Sunday, bloody Sunday!"." Alan tells some Irishmen abotu his favorite U2 song shortly before bringing up the potato famine,

"If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother." Alan's views on farmers result on him being bombed by a cow.

Posted

Context: Alan is trying to avoid a fight in the petrol station.

Quote: The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down!!!! lol

Posted
*cant remember which scene*

Lynn: alan, i could do the presentation for you

Alan: Lynn, you couldnt present.............a cat

142875[/snapback]

Haha that's when he pierces his foot on a SPIIIIIIIIKE!!

"Lynn some of these people have come from Stoke"

Posted

Lyn "theres sometimes in our life Alan, where we need help and guidance..............."

Alan interupts "I'm not going to your babtist church Lyn, you always get people when their down!"

At this point i'm on a downer, I need two ups, 1 so i can just be level and then another so I can be on a high!

Posted
"What's your favoirite Beatles album then Alan?"

"I'd have to say the Best Of The Beatles." Alan is int he middle of boating about his music  knowledge and taste, he is a DJ.

"...and here we have a representitive from the Liberal Democrats, he's Black." Alan prooving what an educated man he is on a live TV political debate.

"'Sunday Bloody Sunday'. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think "Sunday, bloody Sunday!"." Alan tells some Irishmen abotu his favorite U2 song shortly before bringing up the potato famine,

"If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother." Alan's views on farmers result on him being bombed by a cow.

142872[/snapback]

Ha, I love that one, I stuck a sound clip of it in my post :)

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