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Jack Rodwell getting a 40% pay cut, he'll only be earning a measly £44k pw in L1 if he stays with Sunderland. Average wage for a L1 team is somewhere between £1700-£2500. Players signed last year also getting the 40% drop as well. http://www.skysports.com/football/news/11695/11327417/sunderland-midfielder-jack-rodwell-facing-huge-pay-cut

Doctor - "You have a disease, but we can treat it" Patient - "Whats the cure?" Doctor - "It's an 80's rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but lets try and stay focused"

Cornershop are a decent band. Shame they're mostly known for that terrible Fatboy Slim 'Brimful Of Asha' remix

Friday : Pink Floyd Saturday : Radiohead Sunday : Nirvana

I've just stolen loads of swimming pool inflatables. I'd better lilo

If Dec fallen out that car half cut on cheap cider it would have been TV gold

I just completed this quiz. My Score 40/100 My Time 111 seconds  

Bulb can't read the current generation of smart meters at the moment, so if you do swap over to them and have a smart meter you have to do it the old fashioned way and give them meter readings. https://help.bulb.co.uk/hc/en-us/articles/115001232092-Can-I-switch-to-Bulb-with-a-smart-meter- They were no cheaper than my current deal so will give it a miss.

Early contender for next years Oscars... Jason Statham and an 80 foot shark

Just found out my uncle has left me a stately home in his will. I've no idea where Sod Hall is though. I'm just off to Google it now!

Goes without saying that we mash tea in Leicestershire, not brew it

I just completed this quiz. My Score 50/100 My Time 102 seconds  

Just FYI Greenwich pier is not near the O2. It's in Greenwich town centre next to the Cutty Sark. North Greenwich pier is the one next to the O2.

Goes well with his clubbing gear tbf

This. You can use an Oyster card or contactless on the Thames Clipper boats too, plus they often run more boats from North Greewich pier when events are on at the O2. The boats use a different zone system (east, central, west zones) to the tube so won't be part of a daily cap though. Nearest pier to Victoria is Millbank but boats from there don't serve North Greenwich. If you want to be really cheap then the 188 bus runs from central London (Holborn, Waterloo) to North Greenwich bus station.

No taste in shoes either judging by the pic I've just seen of those Air Max animal pack trainers. Leopard print trainers FFS

Yes. Tried some Nytol herbal tablets last week which has made no difference.

Borrow a ratting dog for a day... think Terriers are the best.

I just completed this quiz. My Score 60/100 My Time 68 seconds  

The DVD player on the Red Hot Chili Peppers tour bus stopped working. They had a scart issue.

I think Singapore Airlines launch a Singapore - New York route with an A350 later this year... 19 hours !!!

First ever scheduled regular direct flight from Europe to Australia launches this weekend... Heathrow to Perth... 17 hours 20 mins. Just a few miles short of the longest scheduled flight (Doha to Auckland)

Yep, I always leave a car in gear. Years ago a car across the street from me decided to roll out of its driveway overnight, roll down a slope and across my garden. Luckily the slope of my garden took the car away from my house and into the field next door. He had the handbrake checked out and found it was fine so the idiot obviously didn't put his handbrake on fully and left it in neutral.