Daggers

If and when it happens, this is absolutely my overarching feeling about it. I’ve never hated the club or the Prem more, and I really fvcking hate King Power and everyone associated with it these days. I’ve not watched a single Prem match this season, I’ve no idea who plays for or manages the clubs - the only interest was the points deductions and whether Forest and Everton get their deserved relegations. I won’t watch any matches next season either besides any of ours that I stream.

Their entire business model revolves around marketing to a captive market in the capacity of a pseudo monopoly. Be it passengers locked in a terminal or fans unable to switch clubs on a whim, what the customers think about pricing or policy is of second nature to the process of reaming them for as much money as possible. For King Power, more memberships is better than ST sales. Transient customers equals more match day shop sales and concourse spending - holiday makers over business travellers. The club literally desires more ‘tourists’, their daily revue far outstrips that of the seasoned fan…and they’re far less likely to be uppity and question club management. Combine that with the Thai respect culture (which is basically ‘don’t question your self-appointed betters’), staffing from the wider entertainment industry, rank ineptitude, and a general dislike of traditional low-spending supporters, I don’t believe it would make a difference if there were ten times the number of emails. They just don’t care.

I now know how Jesus felt. Obviously, I’m not saying I’m Jesus, I’m not, just that I have all the qualities someone would have were they to be the reincarnation of the son of god. I could say something like, ‘and Lo, verily, did the son of the Lord make it so people were fed with the loaves and the fishes and the jumbo portions of chips, but drivers for Nazareth Uber began claimeth they were responsible for delivering the chips and other false prophet for hire shit. But they were noteth.’ If I were to go all speaking in parables like, like I am wont due to the nature of the beast of being a deity and everything. Again, not saying I’m Jesus. Naturally, if people want to call me by that name then es todo bueno, as Jesus would say. I forgive you, my son.

We could do with a wannabe court artist to whip up an identikit mug shot

I don’t think @Wymsey has a wife, so that’s out. I think he has a country estate, staff, some of those country dogs, country estate cars…much like Eddie in The Gentlemen (Netflix). He probably doesn’t have a drugs factory under his estate farm as he doesn’t seem the type to do that - but it would explain why he wouldn’t have stuck around after a prang, so maybe he does. Also, he’s not replied to the thread, which makes him look as guilty AF.

He’s not ‘like’ someone - he actually is that person, he has been over promoted.

How someone that age managed to produce that performance last night is staggering. He’s really ending on a high - by far the greatest player I’ve ever seen wear the shirt. And to think back to the shit he copped on here in his first season 😂

Well I’ve always had a mental image of @Wymsey being chauffeured about in a Range Rover, so maybe one of his members of staff was responsible?

Car park C, last night, someone crashed into his car and did a runner. Anyone see anything, drop him a note.

Drunk decisions are always the best decisions, history tells us this. The invention of the airplane, the discovery of subatomic particles, the fusion of sausage with a roll to make a slice of heaven - all done by drunk people.

He just made himself way too expensive for Porto.

It didn’t cure the manflu. Now I’m still in pain and coughing but drunk. Not a clever combination.

I’m not saying that my 100% record in match thread starting contributed directly towards tonight’s result, but I think people should consider that we’ve never lost when I have started a match thread. So, yes, I am claiming full responsibility for tonight’s result. If King Power are reading this, and I know you pay people to do that, you need to be writing some very large numbers on a cheque to have this luck monster on your side next season. I have no morals, I’m happy to start match threads on any forum. Lock me down now or lose me.

I’ve enjoyed your insights across the season - but I have to say this episode is by far the worst analysis you’ve ever put across. There was not a single mention of the role the match thread starter played or how his memes kept the momentum up throughout the 90 minutes. Honestly shocking. If I were you I’d go check out that match thread and give some credit where it was truly due. I’m out.

Possibly my favourite take on Martin

Saints forum

Get out of the shallow end

The usual then

Step into the not very hot not a tub. Grab a shot. Everything is going to be OK.

If people don’t let me do the match thread then you’ve only yourselves to blame.

Absolutely this. They’ve been lovely.

Right, get out. I’m knocking through from the post match thread and having this place as the outdoor pool frotting zone