Daggers

The smell of MTWG’s shits while I’m lying in the bath after he’s eaten sprouts from an expensive coffee chain.

Sprouts are gorgeous. Right up there with broad beans.

I like mince pies more than I like British farmers.

Probably the best insult that's been levelled at me in a while.

Ponticelli Leaving is a massive loss to the Yeltz. …and quite a boost to our title aspirations.

How do you get it to go down the shower plug hole?

The volume of traffic on the roads yesterday was horrific. Had to take the dog to the vet then the wife to Corby (never go to Corby) then collect dog after op. Gridlocks everywhere with no apparent cause…and even back lanes became clogged. It’s just a nonsense.

It’s not autism, it’s the knowledge that’s she’s desperately inept and is always attempting to project a vision of competence, strength and control. She’s a deeply wounded child who had no friends and was subjected to bullying. Like all Tories, she’s emotionally flawed - it’s why she can’t empathise.

Still not responded to my email asking for the ticket to be refunded - let alone refund the ticket. They’ve had a whole week to sort this, is it ok to really dislike Banbury now?

What he’s done, and is committed to, is developing a club from bottom to top, and providing the best mental environment for players. It’s not about honours with Potter, it’s about development strength - the one thing Pearson delivered at Leicester. It’s why I always argued he’d be the best option (given the support). I think it’s a testament to his commitment that he turned KP down twice because they failed to convince him they shared his vision. He doesn’t need the work, he’s financially comfortable, he wants the quest. My big takeaway from the interview is that KP clearly don’t want it or aren’t willing to commit to change.

There was zero fvcking excitement on Monday night at Barwell

Now you do not punish someone, Rudkin or otherwise for making big boobs. If anything they should be rewarded… …They should be equal!

At least I won’t be around to see it with any luck. Yey!

Thank you Royston FC

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There should be harsher penalties for companies that cock up bills. O2 have charged me for two months for a phone I don't have and hold three emails confirming they have had it back - along with a confirmation number. This ineptitude should be punished. I want it mandatory that companies that do this should have to send you a gift basket containing at least two bottles of Louis Roederer Cristal, a chateaubriand, a cheque for £1,000, and a photograph of the employee responsible being given their notice of dismissal in front of their crying family.

Was always absolute bollocks

The amount of drivers around here who drive at night on B roads when they don't appreciate the width of their car and are frightened to drive at night. I was forced off the road to avoid another of these middle of the road pr1cks as I came back from Barwell last night. Fortunately, I've got a 4x4 that is fine with roughness - but I've noticed it becoming a real issue over the last year or so. If they can't drive confidently and competently, get off the fvcking road. They're as bad as the businessmen racers using our lanes as a rat run every time there's an issue between J1 and 6 of the A14.

Seeing as the given attendance is 450, I'm saying we took 350 as we completely outnumbered their fans.

[Tell me you didn't watch it without telling me you didn't watch it] He literally discounts himself as being one of the top managers.

I’ve walked out of a Ned’s Atomic Dustbin gig. Still don’t regret it.