ScrumpyJack

Sorry, where were you in 2013?

Oi ya bunch of ninnies, it’s not over until it’s over. Enough of this doom and ****ing gloom, we won the Premier League at 5000-1!

Will deffo be booing Chilwell come next season. Rudiger, what a cnut. Would love to have a player like him at Leicester.

Souness headed too many balls?

Tanner’s pedigree at the Mercury isn’t the greatest advertisement for The Athletic. For Leicester news specifically, it’s no better than Guardian’s output. With a broader range on football they do commonly have really interesting articles. An example is a really in-depth article on the restructuring at AC Milan over the last few years.

Sorry mate you’re looking for www.thefightingcock.co.uk

Nick Swan knows what’s going on

Stories today are that Kane wants to leave to achieve silverware, personally wouldn’t take him.

Aren’t we linked with Brooks every window? He’s obvs a good player, but can’t we do a bit better. Harvey Elliott could be a better player, and he seems like a bit of a twat which is always fun.

Perez has more Premier League goals than both of them combined

If Sancho is the gold standard than its value must have plummeted! He’s barely doing anything noteworthy for England and the Bundesliga defences are notoriously leaky - Werner, Havertz, Jovic et al have been flattered. Sancho won’t get anywhere near the same numbers in the Prem as he gets in Germany.

Alright lads, I’ve decided Leicester are winning today. You’re welcome x

Ryan Bertrand, baby, come to me. We will look after you X

Noticed that ol’ Jimmy boy gets caught ball watching an awful lot. There was a point towards the end of the United match where he could have intercepted, but opted to leave it. We talk a lot about players being physically exhausted, but Maddison must be mentally gone at this point. Also, I’m starting to worry whether he has the resilience to last an entire season.

This match right set off my IBS

Alright lads don’t worry. I’ve taken one for a team and put a tenner on a United win.

I'd be pissed off too if my colleagues organised a piss-up without me

Nice to see Lennon on, seems to be well.

Newcastle 2-1

Arry Redknapp?

He’s got massive balls

Obviously disappointing. But entirely trust the club to have his long-term interests at heart. Best of luck to the lad, must be gutted. Better to have a job done properly then risk a Hargreaves.

Bloody hell that’s a quick turnaround!

Best of luck and all that, but wasn’t he at a party with a group of girls just a couple of weeks ago? And trying to snog girls on holiday last summer? Time to be a man, and leave boyish ways behind Madders.