urban.spaceman

Changed it

I don't think we're quite prepared for: 1. The number of traps the Tories have laid for Labour while in power; 2. The severity of those traps; 3. Or the sheer level of actual corruption that has been happening this whole time. I am talking imprisonable offences. Many of them. The biggest though? "Things have started to go wrong... that's going to keep happening. You don't want to be sat there in Downing Street all summer while they do"

To whomever was complaining a few pages ago:

Sunak getting pissed on by the heavens as he announces a general election while Labour’s 1997 campaign song blares out louder than his speech. History.

I'll bear that in mind when I'm PM.

ALL WE NEED NOW IS LARRY THE CAT AT THE DOOR LICKING HIS ARSE AS SUNAK SPEAKS

PODIUM IS OUT. REPEAT PODIUM IS OUT. AND IT DOESN'T HAVE A GOVERNMENT SEAL.

The Imperial March playing outside Downing Street

I mean this BTW Literally a week earlier and there would have been 200,000 young people leaving their constituencies to go to Glastonbury.

He's a ****ing idiot.

PARTY AT ANGELA RAYNOR’S HOUSE.

Just need Fabrizio to tweet 🚨HERE WE GO🚨and we’re golden.

Newsnight editor.

If they don’t announce a general election today I am officially doing this tonight.

Imagine the amount of Cecil Gove would be snorting.

Completely impractical to carry. I’d rather pay on card.

Those bloody FA Cup replays have caused an injury again.

Guillem's been naughty.

Would be a laugh if Chelsea had approached him to replace Pochetino and he chose retirement instead

They'd be insane not to go for Pearson.

I can't imagine how much less I would have enjoyed our title win if Claudio hadn't been the most charming mother****er we've ever had. The man was just a profound entertainment from start to finish. An incredible human being.