The joke thread

[NewquayFox]

Ha haaa! Thats soooo funny. ;0)

[Floating Fox]

Thats ****ing Hilarious! :laugh:

[JakeShingler]

[Miquel The Work Geordie]

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

[Miquel The Work Geordie]

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

Still got it.

[SOCCERROO FOX]

Roberto.

Still got it.

You are a clown

[potter3]

Roberto.

Still got it.

You told it wrong.

It's part of a bigger joke, bigger than you could ever imagine.

Edited 19 November 2008 by potter3

[General Smuts]

Roberto.

Still got it.

FT Awards funniest poster - vote winner!

[Miquel The Work Geordie]

You are a clown

Thank you.

You told it wrong.

It's part of a bigger joke, bigger than you could ever imagine.

I apologise. You are the master, I am merely the apprentice.

FT Awards funniest poster - vote winner!

Thought you'd appreciate the classics.

[SOCCERROO FOX]

Thank you.

I apologise. You are the master, I am merely the apprentice.

Thought you'd appreciate the classics.

Unsure wether it is a compliement but i would claim it as one

[skinnydipper]

A man parks his car in a disabled space in a car park. The parking warden, who is on his first day in the job notices that there is no disability sticker on the car and taps on the window.

"Excuse me sir, do you know that you're parked in a disabled space ?"

"Yes"

"And you're not displaying a disabled sticker are you sir ?"

"No"

" Do you have a disability sir ?"

"Yes"

"Would you mind telling me what it is please sir ?"

"Tourettes. Now fook off"

[Libertine]

http://www.thefootballforum.net/forums/ind...howtopic=157613

These are BRILLIANT.

[lildave3]

I prefer these: Jokes

[Alexikokopops]

I prefer these: Jokes

HAHA YES!

[Raj]

2 blokes in airport.

Both have lost their Mrs.

bloke 1"whats your Mrs look like?"

Bloke 2 "6 ft,blonde,big tits,long legs,wearing a mini skirt,high heels and micro top with no bra...Whats your Mrs look like?'

Bloke 1"fook my Mrs...we'll look for yours!"

[Thracian]

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

'Hello ? '

'Is your daddy home?' he asked.

'Yes ,' whispered the small voice.

‘May I talk with him?'

The child whispered, 'No.'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?'

'Yes '

'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, 'No '

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'

'Yes , ' whispered the child, 'a policeman.'

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

'No, he's busy , ' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

'Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman,' came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

‘A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered,

'The search team just landed a helicopter '

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

‘ME!’ .

[Bazaldo]

A Vicar books into a hotel and says to the hotel clerk "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled"

she says " No sir, its just regular porn you sick bastard!"

[Bazaldo]

An old man goes to the chemist to buy a viagra.

"Can i have 6 tablets cut into quarters?"

Chemist replies " i can cut them for you but a quarter wont give you a full erection!"

To which the old man says " I'm 96, i don't want an erection i just want it sticking out far enough so i dont piss on mi slippers!"

[General Smuts]

Snowmen working thier 9 to 5.

[jonno24]

Me and the missus were well excited about our new holiday we booked a few months back.

and i have to commend the tour company on the authenticity of the experience.

As me and the missus werent let down by the Murder mystery weekend in Mumbai

[jonno24]

man goes upto a woman in a bar and says

' The names bond'

she replies 'let me guess its not james bond by any chance' ?

he says 'No its UNI im here to fill yer crack'

[keefox]

i've just handed in my notice at the helium balloon factory - i'm not being spoken to like that !?!

[Fox You Forest]

I'm sick of people coming to the door asking for donations, Someone just came round begging from the sperm bank.

Gave her a right mouthful.

[hairy]

Jizz In My Pants

[morris1234]

it goes without saying..........................................................................

Edited 10 December 2008 by morris1234