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Master Fox

Slugs

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Posted

My brother uses a tennis racket to send slugs and snails from his garden into other peoples.

I rely on the powers of persuasion to convince them not to nibble my vitals

Posted
I nude sunbath in the garden after smearing my bits with lettuce.

...it's not directly related to the thread.

I just thought I'd share.

Posted

I hate 'em. We've got 1/more that somehow got into our living room & every morning I find trails on the rug in the middle of the floor.

I'm considering an all-night stake-out & as soon as the little bastards come out I can have my revenge

Posted

[Random slug fact, slugs get so intertwinned during sex that sometimes that get stuck, to get out of this (excuse the pun) *sticky* situation, the female slugs eat, yes EAT the males penis so there you go, random fact and thank god im no slug!

Posted

I was sleeping the deepest and most wonderful of sleep.

One o'clock - puppy wakes me to go outside. Carry puppy downstairs, find wife's junk with right foot & fall down second half of staircase. Land in heap at bottom, covered in junk, puppy completes arc through the air and lands next to me - evacuating its bowels in the process.

Take puppy outside to calm down while dumb, heavily sworn-at wife cleans up.

Come back in, very tired and barefoot, tread on slug. Parts of slug seep between toes of right foot.

Nice.

  • 2 months later...
Posted
I was sleeping the deepest and most wonderful of sleep.

One o'clock - puppy wakes me to go outside. Carry puppy downstairs, find wife's junk with right foot & fall down second half of staircase. Land in heap at bottom, covered in junk, puppy completes arc through the air and lands next to me - evacuating its bowels in the process.

Take puppy outside to calm down while dumb, heavily sworn-at wife cleans up.

Come back in, very tired and barefoot, tread on slug. Parts of slug seep between toes of right foot.

Nice.

I enjoyed that story.

Hopefully it'll be on the big screen soon - or perhaps straight to DVD.

I'd be happy to direct, if you'll be happy to play yourself Daggers.

NO NO NO!

PLAY yourself.. not PLAY WITH yourself.

Posted
PLAY yourself.. not PLAY WITH yourself.

Godammit.

I knew there had to be a reason why you hadn't mentioned a pot of lube.

Christ! I am sore.

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