Master Fox Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 Dear Helpdesk. I have a query. What happened to the statistics/analysis section? Was it removed due to lack of funds? Thanks MF Key Player Pornographic Editing Department [email protected] Dial: 111-SuperPointyNipples-444-331
lookwhaticando Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 I presume you mean the very grandiose page dedicated to posts-per-day, top 10 topic starts, etc... My understanding is the page was 'lost' during an upgrade some months ago (at least, that's how it appeared to me at the time) - as it was a modification to the forum, as opposed to a central component of the forum software - and has not been reinstated since then. One would imagine that it has been left out - for now at least - because (a) it requires time and effort to reinstall it, and (b) it makes additional demands on the forum database that said database can do without. So yeah, my interpretation of the situation is that it's at least partly related to it being a relatively resource intense function which there's little need for. It's the same for other functions of the forum -- the search function (rather intense) and basic statistics (the bit at the bottom of the forum index) often disappear during busy periods to try to conserve resources.
Daggers Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 My understanding is the page was 'lost' during an upgrade some months ago Dear Helpdesk. I have suggestion. If the statistics/analysis section was lost would it not be a good idea for us all to pair up and go looking for it? Obviously, I do not want to be paired up with a coloured member of FoxesTalk or an underdeveloped character as this would lead to my inevitable demise in the basement of General Chat on a Bank Holiday. Thanks L Key Player Irrelevant Posting Department [email protected] Dial: 111-fish
lookwhaticando Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 Dear Helpdesk.I have suggestion. If the statistics/analysis section was lost would it not be a good idea for us all to pair up and go looking for it? Obviously, I do not want to be paired up with a coloured member of FoxesTalk or an underdeveloped character as this would lead to my inevitable demise in the basement of General Chat on a Bank Holiday. Dear User, Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I have paired you up with cisono, and you should commence your search for the statistics at your convenience. Thanks, H. Desk.
Steven Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 Dear Helpdesk. I have a query. Can something be done to limit the blatant post whoring that goes on. I no longer have the time to devote to the site as I would like and as a consequence my post count is dragging badly. I hope you can help. Thanks Steven Key Player House Music Appreciation Department [email protected] Dial: 111-DeepUpliftingHouse-444-331
lookwhaticando Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 Dear Helpdesk.I have a query. Can something be done to limit the blatant post whoring that goes on. I no longer have the time to devote to the site as I would like and as a consequence my post count is dragging badly. I hope you can help. Thanks Steven Key Player House Music Appreciation Department [email protected] Dial: 111-DeepUpliftingHouse-444-331 Dear User, I share your concerns. However, I do have a solution to your post count misery. Rather than throttle the excesses of youth (they just won't listen anyway), I could arrange for a third party to post on your behalf. This way, your post count isn't put to shame by the up-and-coming tarts of the forum. I strongly recommend passing your password to lcfc_jme. I know he's looking for an account on which he can whore it up... he's on a sort of "health kick" at present, trying to make himself to be some kind of sensible poster, so can't whore it up under his own name... Hope this is of some assistance. :D Kindest regards, H. Desk. © 2007.
Fez of Mahrez Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 Dear Helpdesk, I keep trying to post random shit in completely unrelated threads but they are continually getting closed due to petty matters such as unsourced rumours. Please cease and desist from spoiling my fun. I am in the inner circle. Best Regards, Fez of the M (22)
JoeyB Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 Dear Helpdesk I think i am far beyond help!! My posting has got better, and im not in quote of the week no more, where as dannyboy11 has got worse. i fear we have swapped accounts! what shall i do! yours Joeb Rubish Poster 0122-rubbish-89
lookwhaticando Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 Dear Helpdesk,I keep trying to post random shit in completely unrelated threads but they are continually getting closed due to petty matters such as unsourced rumours. Please cease and desist from spoiling my fun. I am in the inner circle. Best Regards, Fez of the M (22) User, Being part of the "inner circle" (should such a thing exist) you are acutely aware of the operational issues faced by the forum when unsourced rumours (a.k.a complete bullshoe) are allowed to persist. Occasionally sometimes such bullshoe can be permitted under exceptional circumstances, but not before they are removed from a forum in which they are seen to be causing trouble. Look out for such exciting developments in the near future. H. Desk. Dear HelpdeskI think i am far beyond help!! Joeb Rubish Poster 0122-rubbish-89 User, I concur. Regards, H. Desk.
City Fan Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 Dear Helpdesk, Please don't edit perfectly acceptable posts that everyone except probably city1993 and dannyboy11 agrees with. Unkind Regards, City Fan
Daggers Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 Dear Helpdesk. I have comment. I believe that the stocks of North Sea cod are begining to rise again - surely this must come as a relief to puffins and cormorants everywhere. Thanks, Le Monde Key Player Irrelevant Posting Department [email protected] Dial: 111-fish
JoeyB Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 Dear Helpdesk.I have comment. I believe that the stocks of North Sea cod are begining to rise again - surely this must come as a relief to puffins and cormorants everywhere. Thanks, Le Monde Key Player Irrelevant Posting Department [email protected] Dial: 111-fish Well they went down again today! i went to harry ramsdens with my family and we had 5 cods
lookwhaticando Posted 31 May 2007 Posted 31 May 2007 Dear Helpdesk,Please don't edit perfectly acceptable posts that everyone except probably city1993 and dannyboy11 agrees with. Unkind Regards, City Fan User, Bugger! H. D. Dear Helpdesk.I have comment. I believe that the stocks of North Sea cod are begining to rise again - surely this must come as a relief to puffins and cormorants everywhere. Thanks, Le Monde Key Player Irrelevant Posting Department [email protected] Dial: 111-fish User, Yes, I believe that to be the case, for Cod are good eatin'. H. D.
The People's Hero Posted 1 June 2007 Posted 1 June 2007 Dear Helpdesk, When did I lose my 'moderative immunity'? It appears that over recent times, I have been dragged under the same jurisdiction and moderation as many other 'posters' on here. Should we not have a 'tiered' system? Perhaps the plebs could pay a membership fee in order that us so called 'inner-circlers' (if we can, indeed, so be called) can sit and post with not only freedom from the humiliation of being 'moderated' but perhaps also benefit from the employ of a shoe-shining child or a busty, blonde masseuse? In the interests of us illuminati, Forever fighting the stupid, TPH [email protected] Philanthropist of world renown (and part time mussel eating consultant) 0800-HOWDOIBESTEATTHISMUSSEL.HELP.
Rincewind Posted 1 June 2007 Posted 1 June 2007 I agree only if I can receive the same immunity clauses in my contract with Foxestalk. to the mods.
Wils Posted 1 June 2007 Posted 1 June 2007 Dear Helpdesk. I just need help generally. Please help. Wils/Stud [email protected] Dial - 111TrevorBenjamin111
lookwhaticando Posted 1 June 2007 Posted 1 June 2007 Dear Helpdesk,When did I lose my 'moderative immunity'? It appears that over recent times, I have been dragged under the same jurisdiction and moderation as many other 'posters' on here. Should we not have a 'tiered' system? Perhaps the plebs could pay a membership fee in order that us so called 'inner-circlers' (if we can, indeed, so be called) can sit and post with not only freedom from the humiliation of being 'moderated' but perhaps also benefit from the employ of a shoe-shining child or a busty, blonde masseuse? In the interests of us illuminati, Forever fighting the stupid, TPH [email protected] Philanthropist of world renown (and part time mussel eating consultant) 0800-HOWDOIBESTEATTHISMUSSEL.HELP. User, I can assure you, there's lots of tears in the present system. As for immunity, I couldn't possible discuss that in public. A few brown enveloped stuff with non sequential tenners might change my response in private, however. Yours corruptedly, H. Desk. Dear Helpdesk.I just need help generally. Please help. Wils/Stud [email protected] Dial - 111TrevorBenjamin111 User, Let me kiss it better for you. Lovingly, H. Desk.
Dr The Singh Posted 1 June 2007 Posted 1 June 2007 Dear helpdesk, I have a major problem...everytime i drop Mrs Singh off to the In Laws, she always come's back. I've told her on many occassions to stay there etc, but she starts laughing at me and says that i wouls never survive without her....please help!! PS: can you kiss mine better for me also (refering to wils problem) The Singh The [email protected]
lookwhaticando Posted 1 June 2007 Posted 1 June 2007 Dear helpdesk,I have a major problem...everytime i drop Mrs Singh off to the In Laws, she always come's back. I've told her on many occassions to stay there etc, but she starts laughing at me and says that i wouls never survive without her....please help!! PS: can you kiss mine better for me also (refering to wils problem) The Singh The [email protected] User, Sounds like your in-laws aren't much good, if they can't entertain their own offspring for more than a few hours. My solution would be to find new in-laws. And here you go... Sensational. Regards, Helpy D.
Wils Posted 1 June 2007 Posted 1 June 2007 H. Desk. User, Let me kiss it better for you. Lovingly, H. Desk. I like the sounds of that. I may be asking for help more often.
lcfc_jme Posted 2 June 2007 Posted 2 June 2007 Dear Help Desk, I have recently encountered a problem when trying to whore the forum. It just doesn't seem to happen anymore and I appear to have swapped my whoring, innuendo-laden posts for much more sensible, on-topic postings which just aren't my thing. My post per day average is falling all the time and I am quickly being caught up in the post count stakes by worthless imbeciles such as lildave3. I have been stuck in the 7,000-8,000 post bracket for a while now and I miss the congratulations I used to get for passing another milestone. Furthermore, the whole sensible thing is giving a certain somebody an easy time as moderator and makes them appear to be doing a better job than those who went before him. I feel I need to return to my former ways to test their skills properly, y'know? Kind Regards, Jamie 17 Former August 2006 Chief Whore Email: [email protected]
lookwhaticando Posted 2 June 2007 Posted 2 June 2007 Dear Help Desk,I have recently encountered a problem when trying to whore the forum. It just doesn't seem to happen anymore and I appear to have swapped my whoring, innuendo-laden posts for much more sensible, on-topic postings which just aren't my thing. My post per day average is falling all the time and I am quickly being caught up in the post count stakes by worthless imbeciles such as lildave3. I have been stuck in the 7,000-8,000 post bracket for a while now and I miss the congratulations I used to get for passing another milestone. Furthermore, the whole sensible thing is giving a certain somebody an easy time as moderator and makes them appear to be doing a better job than those who went before him. I feel I need to return to my former ways to test their skills properly, y'know? Kind Regards, Jamie 17 Former August 2006 Chief Whore Email: [email protected] User, Sometimes it's good to let your hair down. See? Wild! As Nike would have it... Just do it. D. Hesk.
Daggers Posted 2 June 2007 Posted 2 June 2007 I like the sounds of that. I may be asking for hot gay sex more often.
Steven Posted 2 June 2007 Posted 2 June 2007 Dear Help Desk,I have recently encountered a problem when trying to whore the forum. It just doesn't seem to happen anymore and I appear to have swapped my whoring, innuendo-laden posts for much more sensible, on-topic postings which just aren't my thing. My post per day average is falling all the time and I am quickly being caught up in the post count stakes by worthless imbeciles such as lildave3. I have been stuck in the 7,000-8,000 post bracket for a while now and I miss the congratulations I used to get for passing another milestone. Furthermore, the whole sensible thing is giving a certain somebody an easy time as moderator and makes them appear to be doing a better job than those who went before him. I feel I need to return to my former ways to test their skills properly, y'know? Kind Regards, Jamie 17 Former August 2006 Chief Whore Email: [email protected] If you feel that an alter ego might help you out of this slump then I would be happy to lend you my login.
lcfc_jme Posted 2 June 2007 Posted 2 June 2007 User,Sometimes it's good to let your hair down. See? Wild! As Nike would have it... Just do it. D. Hesk. Indeed I suppose it would be good to let my hair down again soon. Just do it? Hmm I may well try. Thanks D Hesk. If you feel that an alter ego might help you out of this slump then I would be happy to lend you my login. That could be fun. I may well look into this sometime in the not-too-distant future. Thanks. :thumbsup:
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