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Jay

Random comedy quotes

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Posted

he's used to love a good random quote so I will start it off...

Edmund Blackadder...

Something is always wrong, Balders. The fact that I am not a millionaire aristocrat with the sexual capacity of a rutting rhino is a constant niggle.

Posted
You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have fooked that guy?' We could be that mistake!

Superbad

Class Film.

Posted

Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

David Brent

Posted
The whole scene in Bad Boys 2 where the lad comes round to take Martin Lawrence's daughter out is laced with comedy.

"Your a virgin?"

"Yes"

"You better keep it that way cuz there ain't gonna be no ****in tonight"

The best one is surely:

"You ever made love to a man?"

"No"

"You want to?"

"No Sir"

Posted

I do not want to eat your pickled onions, not after they's been in your filthy, filthy, bath water. You dirty old man! (or something similar) - Harold Steptoe.

Posted

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. - Chris Rock

Posted
Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.

[Apologies to any religious bigot who may read this post - I am sorry that you decided to stop using a brain for thinking] :thumbup:

Posted
If I could I would mate.

Watched it earlier, that is sheer brilliance.

'Tis indeed. :thumbup: Watched it the other night, what a genius film!

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