Less Than A Month To Go - It's TODAY

[Finnegan]

AND fook YOU DO'PHEEEN!

[Radovan's Caravan]

Typical that the day after the WC draw, two English players miss penalties. This football blog on the World Cup talks about Defoe and Lampard's penalty misses and, quite rightly, states how it hopefully won't come to this again next summer. Maybe we should ask if Rooney can talk all of them it it comes down to it?

Oh and on another note...Baddiel and Skinner are doing another England football song?!

In the Land of Chocolate Frogs are we? OK I'll suspend my sense of disbelief too...

Mongballers like Ingerland would almost certainly be involved in TWO penalty shoot outs to win a World Cup (remember there are four knock out rounds).

Your shit unscientific penalty TAKING (eg the shot down the middle has the worst statistical outcome as it can be stopped by virtually any body part) is slightly less than 50% of your problem.

Your main one is your penalty STOPPING. In fact it's worse than that. Your real problem is your fcukwit coaches who think that saving penalties is more or less down to chance (that's why they never, ever talk about it). But it aint - it's a skill and one that requires a lot of training & application to acquire.

And nothing's guaranteed to put off the Ingermongs more than hard work...

[Webbo]

In the Land of Chocolate Frogs are we? OK I'll suspend my sense of disbelief too...

Mongballers like Ingerland would almost certainly be involved in TWO penalty shoot outs to win a World Cup (remember there are four knock out rounds).

Your shit unscientific penalty TAKING (eg the shot down the middle has the worst statistical outcome as it can be stopped by virtually any body part) is slightly less than 50% of your problem.

Your main one is your penalty STOPPING. In fact it's worse than that. Your real problem is your fcukwit coaches who think that saving penalties is more or less down to chance (that's why they never, ever talk about it). But it aint - it's a skill and one that requires a lot of training & application to acquire.

And nothing's guaranteed to put off the Ingermongs more than hard work...

Who do you think will win the X factor RC?

[Guest Bilo]

In the Land of Chocolate Frogs are we? OK I'll suspend my sense of disbelief too...

Mongballers like Ingerland would almost certainly be involved in TWO penalty shoot outs to win a World Cup (remember there are four knock out rounds).

Your shit unscientific penalty TAKING (eg the shot down the middle has the worst statistical outcome as it can be stopped by virtually any body part) is slightly less than 50% of your problem.

Your main one is your penalty STOPPING. In fact it's worse than that. Your real problem is your fcukwit coaches who think that saving penalties is more or less down to chance (that's why they never, ever talk about it). But it aint - it's a skill and one that requires a lot of training & application to acquire.

And nothing's guaranteed to put off the Ingermongs more than hard work...

As masturbation has clearly bored you, may I suggest relieving your sexual woes with a pint glass filled with mince? Might even feel like the real thing after a few jars of Trappist ale.

[Alan Johnson]

Radovan please respond to my pm asap about my little proposal.

As stated it's in your best interest if you accept and I'm losing patience waiting for your reply.

A.Johnson

[TrickyTrev]

I actually agree that our attitude that penalties is a 'lottery' is ridiculous. A penalty shootout is obviously a game of skill.

[shen]

penalty STOPPING. It's a skill and one that requires a lot of training & application to acquire.

As Sørensen has demonstrated in the past few weeks/months

[Radovan's Caravan]

Radovan please respond to my pm asap about my little proposal.

As stated it's in your best interest if you accept and I'm losing patience waiting for your reply.

A.Johnson

Mr Johnson,

You're a one gag comic with appalling grammar.

You'd go down a storm at the BBC..

Regards,

Radovan

[Radovan's Caravan]

Technically their penalty defeats in 2004 and 2006 would be classified as draws, but even having it your way, Englands overall record is superior. It might be that England choke often at big moments, but that doesn't necessarily correllate with a lack of technical proficiency. Just ask the Spaniards and their record in major tournaments.

I don't know why you keep banging on about the Portuguese, who despite having had some great talents in football history have only just qualified for their fifth World Cup and have only qualified for five Euros, one of which was for being the host. Their technical football ranks among the best, yet they've failed to win anything EVEN on home ground. I'll just reiterate that even IF seeding was done like previous WCs, Portugal would've ended up with the shorter straw. It's the results that count, nothing else.

And to be honest, if you watched Portugal and their opposition during the qualifiers, you'd know just as well as me that they should've walked that group. Their profligacy in front of goal and their overall arrogance led to their own downfall, exemplified by their embarrassing 3-2 defeat at home to an injury-ravaged Danish side. They were only extremely fortunate that the most impotent Swedish side in recent history didn't pip them to the playoff spot.

England on the other hand, crushed what is a superior technical team to any of Portugals opponents during qualifying. Twice! They won all but their last game which was meaningless anyway, even ending up as the qualification top scorers. In contrast, Portugal failed to score three games in a row(!) and struggled heavily TWICE against the minnows of Albania.

It would be easy to make a case for France, but Portugal don't deserve to be seeded simply on the basis that they're a 'technical' side, that has been a bogey team for England (specifically) in major tournaments

On Denmark, if we keep our best players injury-free, then I can start believing

Verily thou art 'Boeuf en Croute' - rather a lot of Rosbif inside a thin Pastry shell...

[Alan Johnson]

Listen Slobodan,

Does grammar buy you a BMW?

Does grammar buy you a Rolex?

Does grammar buy you a marble moben fitted kitchen?

Does grammar buy you a 6 bedroomed estate in Surrey?

I've got a 32inch plasma in mine, you get a document up on that baby, and you’re seriously looking at that bastard.

You think the guys who invented Google sat around watching Trumpton?...

I’ll tell you what slobodan, when you have the above then you can critisice my grammer all you like.

You’ve made a powerful enemy Rad. A powerful enemy.

If my package of talc doesn't make it through Novi Sad I will hold you soley responsible.

Doviđenja

A.Johnson

[StanSP]

Listen Slobodan,

Does grammer buy you a BMW?

Does grammer buy you a Rolex?

Does grammer buy you a marble moben fitted kitchen?

Does grammer buy you a 6 bedroomed estate in Surrey?

I've got a 32inch plasma in mine, you get a document up on that baby, and you’re seriously looking at that bastard.

You think the guys who invented Google sat around watching Trumpton?...

I’ll tell you what slobodan, when you have the above then you can critisice my grammer all you like.

You’ve made a powerful enemy Rad. A powerful enemy.

If my package of talc doesn't make it through Novi Sad I will hold you soley responsible.

Doviđenja

A.Johnson

Love it.

[shen]

Verily thou art 'Boeuf en Croute' - rather a lot of Rosbif inside a thin Pastry shell...

Not at all, dear Radovan. Just because you lead a personal vendetta against the 'Ingermongs' doesn't mean I should agree with your views on why Portugal should've been seeded. I'm not defending the English national team, rather I'm pointing towards the fallacies of your arguments that Portugal should've been seeded above England (and France for that matter!). At the same time, I'm claiming that the Spaniards (prior to their Euro triumph), and to a large extent the Portuguese too, don't have any 'divine' right to consider themselves major contenders for trophies. Their appalling records despite their so-called technical superiority proves that. Why should these national teams be exempted from your criticism?

[Finnegan]

superiority proves that. Why should these national teams be exempted from your criticism?

Because he's English trying to wind up English people on an English forum, not Spanish or Portugese.

[MC Prussian]

Because he's English trying to wind up English people on an English forum, not Spanish or Portugese.

The longer I think about it, the more Radovan starts to remind me of a modern Don Quixote.

[Radovan's Caravan]

Not at all, dear Radovan. Just because you lead a personal vendetta against the 'Ingermongs' doesn't mean I should agree with your views on why Portugal should've been seeded. I'm not defending the English national team, rather I'm pointing towards the fallacies of your arguments that Portugal should've been seeded above England (and France for that matter!). At the same time, I'm claiming that the Spaniards (prior to their Euro triumph), and to a large extent the Portuguese too, don't have any 'divine' right to consider themselves major contenders for trophies. Their appalling records despite their so-called technical superiority proves that. Why should these national teams be exempted from your criticism?

Neither do I and, for that matter, neither do they - it's your armchair pundits that are prematurely putting winner's medals round their necks.

Spain, at least, have partially compensated for their poor World Cup showing in the Euro's (they have made the final three times and won twice - England have never appeared in a Euro final). They also play the correct way (but perhaps have always lacked the tactical nous that, say, the Italians have) - the short, first time, passing game.

There are a number of other factors that might explain Spain's poor showing in the world game. It is still not a fully industrialised country in the way that the EU's big four are. The nation itself is not comfortable in its own skin and is beset with the fiercest regional antagonisms in Europe (many Catalans and Basques see Castillian Spain as Nazi Germany). Much of the country chose to ignore the triumph at Euro 2008.

Another factor that might explain their lack of success on the world stage is genetics. Spaniards are in the main small and have low bone density and slow twitch muscles. They lack the height/strength and/or explosive power of North Europeans (Vikingr!), Slavs and West Africans (the most explosive on earth).

This is admittedly a speculative hypothesis because one of the fascinating things about football is that unlike many other team sports there are other important dynamics in play besides strength and power. It's axiomatic that marathonesque endurance, particularly in warmer climes can be just as crucial. So what one loses on the swings one gains on the roundabouts - in theory at least.

Much of thie above could apply to Portugal (particularly the economics - until the English discovered the Algarve everything south of Lisboa was pretty much third world). The loss of their African colonies and the ongoing political instablity in these countries severely disrupted their talent supply line in the '70's and 80's. Their golden generation (a 22 carat golden one unlike the current Ingermongish gold leaf generation) headed by Figo and Rui Costa placed their club careers in Italy and Spain above their international duties.

Of course there is also the Finnegan population index to consider too. Whilst according to my argument a total population does not rule out the possibility/probability of punctuated triumphs it does possibly militate against continuous success (lets not forget though that Brazil's 100 millions went for 24 years without making a World Cup final - 1970-1994). Remember also that Portugal have never hosted a World Cup and have reached two World Cup semi finals on foreign soil (one more than England) and also reached their Euro final that they hosted (one more than England.

Then there is the small matter of Portugal's 3-1 tournament head to head score against England (sorry chum but a knock out on penalties goes down as a defeat not a draw in the record books - in any case the shoot out is a contest of science, psychology & skill not just chance).

My beef with Les Rosbifs is that they are blind. They are blind to the mediocrity of their international tournament record. They are blind to the vast technical superiority of at least half a dozen teams that they always struggle against on foreign soil. They are blind to the limitations of their own players and how they lower the tone of the international game with their peculiar brand of park football (England V Ecuador 2006 - such a memorable experience). Englands eternal optimism is blind because it is based on an ancient and irrelevant number -

1966

[SOCCERROO FOX]

Just applied for tickets to the Brazil v Portugal and the Spain v Switzerland games hope I get them both.

[shen]

Spain, at least, have partially compensated for their poor World Cup showing in the Euro's (they have made the final three times and won twice - England have never appeared in a Euro final). They also play the correct way (but perhaps have always lacked the tactical nous that, say, the Italians have) - the short, first time, passing game.

I'll give you that they've partially made up for it in the Euros. Their tactical and disciplinary/mental deficiencies are less forgivable though. The upcoming World Cup will be their best chance ever that they're finally moving out of the shadows of their past.

There are a number of other factors that might explain Spain's poor showing in the world game. It is still not a fully industrialised country in the way that the EU's big four are. The nation itself is not comfortable in its own skin and is beset with the fiercest regional antagonisms in Europe (many Catalans and Basques see Castillian Spain as Nazi Germany). Much of the country chose to ignore the triumph at Euro 2008.

The lack of common nationality or national coherence need not be distraction. Indeed, several non-Castillians played for the Euro winning side last summer. USSR, Czechoslovakia and unified Germany are other examples of sides that have surmounted nationality issues and gotten results (although I'm not trying to compare the different situations and contexts of those teams to Spain's).

Another factor that might explain their lack of success on the world stage is genetics. Spaniards are in the main small and have low bone density and slow twitch muscles. They lack the height/strength and/or explosive power of North Europeans (Vikingr!), Slavs and West Africans (the most explosive on earth).

This is admittedly a speculative hypothesis because one of the fascinating things about football is that unlike many other team sports there are other important dynamics in play besides strength and power. It's axiomatic that marathonesque endurance, particularly in warmer climes can be just as crucial. So what one loses on the swings one gains on the roundabouts - in theory at least.

Genetics could possibly be a factor, but I would have no idea how to determine to what degree it has disadvantaged them, especially in the past. Looking at the players that make out the Spanish team today, they don't exactly stand out as small or meek, and the fact that quite a few have plied their trade in the Premier League with great success shows that they can adapt to the 'physical demands' of English football. They didn't look overmatched physically at the Euros either, not even against the Germans in the final. So I'm not sure how much of a factor genetics is any longer, but I admit having no in-depth knowledge on genetics of the different 'races'.

How about the advantage of having greater football intelligence on the pitch, or having a much stronger domestic league than the countries with alleged superior physiques?

Much of the above could apply to Portugal (particularly the economics - until the English discovered the Algarve everything south of Lisboa was pretty much third world). The loss of their African colonies and the ongoing political instablity in these countries severely disrupted their talent supply line in the '70's and 80's. Their golden generation (a 22 carat golden one unlike the current Ingermongish gold leaf generation) headed by Figo and Rui Costa placed their club careers in Italy and Spain above their international duties.

Again, not knowing how Portugal's supply line was structured back then it makes it a bit hard to comment. But watching how Brazilians get more or less 'instantly' nationalized (Liedson being the latest case, and also provoking Dunga's stinging remark on the group draw) when needed, and how the cream of the crop from Cape Verde, Angola and Mozambique mostly ply their trade in Portugal, I don't see how they've been 'disadvantaged' on this front compared to e.g. the Netherlands.

Of course there is also the Finnegan population index to consider too. Whilst according to my argument a total population does not rule out the possibility/probability of punctuated triumphs it does possibly militate against continuous success (lets not forget though that Brazil's 100 millions went for 24 years without making a World Cup final - 1970-1994). Remember also that Portugal have never hosted a World Cup and have reached two World Cup semi finals on foreign soil (one more than England) and also reached their Euro final that they hosted (one more than England).

I'm not questioning England's underachievement. But compare Portugal's record to the Netherlands, Greece or even Denmark. None of these teams did anything of note prior to the 1970's (disregarding the Olympics), yet all of them have a major title to their name. ALL of them on foreign soil. Taking Denmark's very recent rise to the international scene, their smaller population and their technical inferiority into consideration, one could argue their record at the World Cups stands rather favourably compared to Portugals. You'd obviously have to wear some rose-tinted specs to see that, but still. Greece on the other hand have had similar economic problems to Portugal and have never had any proud football tradition, yet even they manage to get the trophy which couldn't possibly have been served on a bigger plate to Portugal. As for the Netherlands, despite being relatively comparable to Portugal with the exception possibly the economic history, have a far superior record to Portugal.

Then there is the small matter of Portugal's 3-1 tournament head to head score against England (sorry chum but a knock out on penalties goes down as a defeat not a draw in the record books - in any case the shoot out is a contest of science, psychology & skill not just chance).

I'll give you this one too. I didn't make those statistics and I agree that shoot outs aren't just about chance, even if it does play a role too.

My beef with Les Rosbifs is that they are blind. They are blind to the mediocrity of their international tournament record. They are blind to the vast technical superiority of at least half a dozen teams that they always struggle against on foreign soil. They are blind to the limitations of their own players and how they lower the tone of the international game with their peculiar brand of park football (England V Ecuador 2006 - such a memorable experience). Englands eternal optimism is blind because it is based on an ancient and irrelevant number

Again, to a large extent I agree with you - that England are quite mediocre and not entertaining, as shown when they get to the business end of tournaments - but I'm afraid that it's not only the English who are 'eternally' regarding England as a major contender at international tournaments. Their team seems to be respected in most countries, even if they do have their fair share of critics. But so do Italy and their clichéd 'boring Catenaccio' football, or Germany and their clichéd 'physical and never-say-die attitude', or even Brazil with their 'purple patch' football.

PS. I didn't actually expect you to look at Spain or Portugal, but I appreciate it!

[BlueSi13]

Heres a little stat that i quite like and that i shall now share.

England have played 877 games in its history, with 498 wins and 168 defeats (211 draws) and the only teams we have an inferior record against are Brazil, Italy and erm Romania .....not bad all in all....especially for a 'mediocre' footballing nation.....but i probably only think that because im 'blind' to the fact we have underachieved eh RC? (PS all England fans actually think the same RC, your not unique in your observation)

[BlueSi13]

Oops i tell a lie, Uruguay have a superior record against us aswell, my bad!

[The Doctor]

USA won't win group B, nor will they win group C. Whoever wins the match between England/USA will win the group. Time to remove your blue-tinted spectacles and realise that England are far superior to you jocks, sweetheart.

they're actually clear lense with no tint at all.

You forget that Serbia won their qualification group - one that contained the WC 2006 runner up. You forget also, imprecise mechanism though it is, that Serbia are currently ranked by FIFA ahead of both Australia (no way near good enough) and Ghana (currently suffering from the 'African' disease - mysterious loss of form due to local officials witholding their match fees, pinching their clothes etc etc).

You confused forgetting something and being completely uninterested.

Every one jump on the Aussies bandwagon hey we will probably get flogged 3 nil every game but we will still show up in our thousands and get pissed at all the games.............and our only forward looks like Jesus

good enough for me.

[Tilley]

Capello has to take 5 strikers.

In that five, there HAS to be Michael Owen.

[SOCCERROO FOX]

Capello has to take 5 strikers.

In that five, there HAS to be Michael Owen.

If he takes 5 strikers the 5th Striker will barely play so he may use that spot to take a young striker for the experience.

[Uncle Albert]

I would take 7 defenders, worst comes to worse Gareth Barry can fill in at left back.

Got to go to South Africa taking 5 strikers, Rooney, Defoe, Owen, Walcott and Crouch or Heskey.

[lildave3]

I would take 7 defenders, worst comes to worse Gareth Barry can fill in at left back.

Got to go to South Africa taking 5 strikers, Rooney, Defoe, Owen, Walcott and Crouch or Heskey.

Not a bad shout + it would get Bridge out of the picture, i'm all for it.

[StanSP]

Not a bad shout + it would get Bridge out of the picture, i'm all for it.

This.