Limericks. Post Them Here.

[Guest MattP]

Not I don't want you to think I'm the judge,

But in the job centre I gave him a nudge,

A bedroom to lie,

No he's a street guy,

Mrs Thatcher I still hold a grudge.

[Rincewind]

Thought of this during the night when I was trying to sleep. Not a limerick but nowhere else to post it.

 

First draft.

 

Epitaph To Meldew Lee

 

Here lies the remains of Meldew Lee

A pillar of the community.

Strove always to better his life

Had a loving family and a wife,

One night he went drinking around the town

Then headed for home trousers half down.

He came upon a young man in a doorway

Which prompted Meldew to say;

Here is a pound coin for a cuppa tea

And then on the homeless man he did pee.

The young man was too shocked to moan

And Meldew laughed as he turned for home.

But on that fateful night he missed a turning

He did not see the warning.

Tripped over a pipe and fell into a sewer

And drowned in a pool of urine and manure.

 

 

https://audioboo.fm/boos/1839324-the-epitaph-of-meldew-lee

[Guest MattP]

Well the above clearly wasn't about me,

As Meldew had eaten a curry,

Though he didn't give a pound,

He bent down to the ground,

And gave him much more than a wee.

[Merging Cultures]

Once there was a man called Rincewind

Who wrote a limerick that clearly sinned

It didn't really rhyme

and it wasn't in time

And so his login we did rescind

[Carl the Llama]

Thought of this during the night when I was trying to sleep. Not a limerick but nowhere else to post it.

 

First draft.

 

Epitaph To Meldew Lee

 

Here lies the remains of Meldew Lee

A pillar of the community.

Strove always to better his life

Had a loving family and a wife,

One night he went drinking around the town

Then headed for home trousers half down.

He came upon a young man in a doorway

Which prompted Meldew to say;

Here is a pound coin for a cuppa tea

And then on the homeless man he did pee.

The young man was too shocked to moan

And Meldew laughed as he turned for home.

But on that fateful night he missed a turning

He did not see the warning.

Tripped over a pipe and fell into a sewer

And drowned in a pool of urine and manure.

 

 

https://audioboo.fm/boos/1839324-the-epitaph-of-meldew-lee

It seems to me you've lost your way

We post limericks in here, ok?

Though it told a nice tale

Of intrigue and betrayal,

It's as welcome as Timmy McVeigh.

[Trav Le Bleu]

There was an Israeli named Sheron

Who's doctors had left the power on

But his successor didn't pay

The electricity bill one day

Cos they thought dirty Arabs don't shower long

[Trav Le Bleu]

There was a football manager named Pearson

Whose team was particularly fearsome

Goals, 1, 2, 3, 4

The could often score more

But defenders would occasionally clear some.

[Rincewind]

There was an Israeli named Sheron

Who's doctors had left the power on

But his successor didn't pay

The electricity bill one day

Cos they thought dirty Arabs don't shower long

Good until the last line so only half a RP.

Anyone giving the other half?