Limericks. Post Them Here.

[Webbo]

A young man called PSinatra

was an habitual farter

He liked to mow lawn

and star in gay porn

wearing a bra and a garter.

 

Sorry P 

[Mark_w]

Poor old Lamby is a Charlton fan,

He's being held down by the man,

Can't find any work,

Clearly isn't a shirk,

But weekends aren't part of his plan.

[Webbo]

Poor old DavieG

he used to like going for a wee

he flowed like Niagra

but now takes viagra

So it sticks out and doesn't dribble down his knee.

[Guest Bilo]

I once met a girl named Louise
Whose pubic hair hung to her knees
the crabs came together,
and knitted a sweater
so in Winter her cvnt wouldn't freeze

[FoxesAreBlue]

lol

[Webbo]

The poster known as Bilo

used to go on his dates with a lilo

the bed he would pump

in case he got a jump

and his arse would be going high-low.

[FoxesAreBlue]

There was an old boy called Moose

Whose arsehole was particularly loose

When he sat on the loo

It went all askew

And splattered shit all over the hoose.

[Ross-Kemp]

Some serious efforts from MattP.

[FoxesAreBlue]

I once met a girl named Louise

Whose pubic hair hung to her knees

the crabs came together,

and knitted a sweater

so in Winter her cvnt wouldn't freeze

Bilo's lass, the aforementioned Louise

Her cvnt smelt like Limburger Cheese

She leaked so much grunge

That she purchased a sponge

That sopped up the muck to her knees.

[Webbo]

Foxesareblue's arms have power

His body is built like a tower

the secret of him

is his work in the gym

Like picking that turd out the shower.

[MooseBreath]

Blue army Andy to foxes are blue

The worst names in history all belong to you

Third line

Fourth line

Fck this shit seriously

[Guest Bilo]

The poster known as Bilo

used to go on his dates with a lilo

the bed he would pump

in case he got a jump

and his arse would be going high-low.

 

Would I be an insufferable pedant if I were to point out it's pronounced Bee-Low?

[FoxesAreBlue]

[Harry - LCFC]

Would I be an insufferable pedant if I were to point out it's pronounced Bee-Low?

 

 

Life changing moment.

[Stadt]

Would I be an insufferable pedant if I were to point out it's pronounced Bee-Low?

I feel like I've been stabbed.

[Guest MattP]

The was man known as Beelow

Known for pedanitism towards Weebo.

I changed it a bit

But it still sounds shit

I need some bananas a kilo.

[notnow john]

Ronnie has liberal views

He's cultured and dislikes tattoos

He's smart and urbane

But he smells like a drain

Probably the shit on his shoes.

.

[Mark_w]

It's surprising a man of such stature,

Would compare Adolf Hitler to Thatcher,

But misguided Bilo,

Did stoop that low,

And right after death had dispatched her.

[Harry - LCFC]

I don't disagree with the concept

'Tis something else that I must reject

Ridiculous hate

Deteriorates

What should be an amusing subject*

 

 

 

*a synonym for topic which is in turn an alternative word for thread. Obviously.

[Guest MattP]

This forum was loaded with Liberals,

The Tories were brush off as thick fools,

Then a wolf and a moose,

Had them grabbing a noose,

And if Clegg logged on he'd probably get chills.

[Smudge]

 

There's a fine old geezer called Smudge 

He's right wing and just doesn't budge 

Privatised industry is best

Labour  fooked all the rest 

Typical Tory bullshit and fudge

 

 

If you read this , just joking and no offence Smudge 

 

 

 

 

if you don't I mean every word of it 

 

Right!!

 

My mucker my mate, Zingari

Wasn't allowed in the Army

Why not said he

Perplexed as could be

Your conspiracy fears are all barmy

 

I'll fight for t'other side he retorted

I'm not going to be thus thwarted

He went off Moscow

Without any real dough

And married a Cossack he'd courted

 

Now Smudge took pity on Zing's fall

And in the 60's gave him a call

Come home my mate

It's not too late

There's loads like you in Whitehall

[FoxesAreBlue]

An old but slightly modified one:

The was a old codger called Ken

Whose dick was so long it was bent

To save himself trouble

He put it in double

And instead of coming he went

[Webbo]

Sir Alf wanted Red Ed

to be our prime minister instead

but Ed had the gall

to stick with Ed Balls

and now all Alf's hopes are dead.

[Alf Bentley]

Webbo was a gay Islamist red,

A member of Al-Quaeda with Peter Tatchell in his bed,

He signed on the dole,

But still sold his hole,

From Riyadh via Havana to Club Med

[Alf Bentley]

MattP was surprisingly seen,

Outside Windscale, in dungarees so green,

He said: "European regulations

state there are no more nations,

So I've joined the SWP, know what I mean?"