fazzyfox

Oh dear, poor old s**t-hole

Is that a drum and bass remix of John Cravens Newsround theme?

I want Barrister Giles Fortesque-Smythe of Tuddingham, Winchett and Smythe on a golden sticker for my Panini album please, absolute legend, swapsie for 3 Liverpool badges and Ryan Yates.

We're in that bit between the end of season and an International tournament aren't we

For sale 33 year old CB with absolutely no pace, mediocre in air despite genetics of a giraffe, part of 2 consecutive relegations, expects big wages and training ground with kennel facilities. Form an orderly queue folks, don’t all rush at once…….

He got a new job as security at a tortoise sanctuary but lost it when they kept escaping past him

Put more dangerous crosses into the box in 90 minutes than Mavididi managed all season.

Yeah about that…..

I have an inkling it’ll be 0-0 with Arsenal winning on penalties (and that’s not a reference to this afternoons blockbuster at the KP.) Capable of keeping PSG out maybe but capable of opening them up….not so sure.

Put himself ahead of our Champions League push, met with Chelsea on a sick day off whilst with us, bragged about it in the dressing room, couldn’t understand why the other players didn’t appreciate it then went into self preservation mode until end of season, and went from being very good / excellent to Luke warm - anonymous.. In the post cup final league game targeted Ricardo’s knee having been around throughout Ricardo’s recovery previously. He’s a grade A bell.

Post-man Pat!

“Fans can bring alcoholic drinks into the stands - they’ll f***ing need them!”

I bought this watch from a supposedly reputable Duty Free Airport store in Thailand at precisely mid-day. It’s only got one blinkin’ hand !!! (Copyright Jasper Carrot)

We might be outnumbered by some Bournemouth and Stoke die hards come to see their (cough) legends. I wouldn’t take an autograph books, it’ll be more like spending 90 minutes flicking through a 2015/16 Panini album whilst singing “Who the f-***ing hell are you”.

Once Kingy had been here ten years there should have been a testimonial (still for charity) with the title winners vs other team mates of his from over the years with him playing a half for each. Or / and they should have read the room, postponed any announcement of this and scheduled it for the November international weekend (still no Kante and Mahrez though) IF things improve around the club. Still ten years even if it does fall into the next season. It was like going into a funeral wake at a bar and shouting “ Hey there’s a disco in here on Saturday, come on everyone, come along”. Then staging the poorest excuse of a disco possible.

And what of the All-Stars you mentioned?

Ahhh no…. “Whadevva Da Wevva I’m not very Clevva my uncles called Trevva la la la la b******s etc”

Tinpot. No beaming Birch, no Bocelli, no confused Demari Gray asking what’s going on. We did it with class, this mob do it like the extras from Oliver Twist they really are.

Good point, I was angry at the time but even more so when they showed what they were capable of in the European Final, it was like night and day the difference.

When people say we have unrealistic expectations look at 6th to 9th Bournemouth, Sunderland, Brentford, Brighton, just better run clubs. Would I swap our trophies and big moments to be one of those 4, no, but can’t you aspire to both?

Chelsea, huge squad, no European money, they’ll just have to fudge the books again, maybe sell their training bibs to the owner for 40 million quid?

Rowett talked about us maintaining the integrity of the league in the final games, shame Moyes didn’t have the same philosophy.

Ooooh save!

Bowen, super, smashing, great, 2-0

Ooooh West Ham goal, wake up Everton ffs