Bourbon Fox

This is insane

He does not look the least bit arsed

Mavididi just jogging behind Facundo there when he should have been busting a gut into the space

So poor tonight

Careful, Rudkin will offer him a 7-year contract on a million pounds a week

Yeah, and you know what's hardest to get rid of? The old, average or chronically-injured players on high salaries. What pisses me off is, we've known this for 2 years yet the club sanctioned new contracts for some very questionable 'assets'. Faes, Ndidi, Jannik and Bobby Reid contracted until summer 2027. Skipp until 2029 for God's sake!

I have similar feelings. A confidence-boosting win with a decent performance is one thing. Once they scored we looked miles away from getting back in the game. Extra time would just have been more running for a small, crap squad. At least the way this ended gives them a sense of injustice rather than 45 minutes of decent football and 75 minutes of shite.

El Khannouss slides the ball between the centre backs in the last ten minutes at the City Ground. The striker's through, running onto it with only the onrushing keeper to beat. Who do you want on the end of it - Daka or Vardy?

Yes and played Okoli a bit

Facundo and Mavididi for Reid and Ayew please

Problem is we don't have the depth for Ruud to drop both Vestergaard and Faes. If only there was a transfer window coming up

What you have there is a passionate monster in Okoli saving the arse of a complacent, arrogant Faes

Tell you what that was a bit of dynamite from Bilal

How did he not hit the rafters?!

The horse comes in at CB Vestergaard is melted down for glue

Sadly, I think the plan and the ability to evolve it burned in that helicopter

What does Andrew Neville do?

Steady on!

I'd have taken a toilet upgrade

I first went to Filbert Street when I was single digits in age, I'm not sure exactly when. Early nineties. Columns of fans marching down Raw Dykes in a phalanx. Those not singing the songs were in a very small minority. 'When You're Smiling', 'Bertie Mee said to Bill Shankly', 'Once Upon A Time There Was A Spion Kop' - I learned them all walking to Filbert Street. Sometimes there was trouble, although it was rare that we were caught up because my dad, uncle, grandad knew where to avoid. There was a sense of danger though, and to my young mind an allure: 'they're baby squad. Come this way'. It was male-dominated. It was adult. It was white men, Asian lads and a few black blokes. It was not a family experience. It was an initiation into a set of rules that only seemed to apply on Saturdays, but which resonated - a group of 200 blokes can walk where they want and do what they like. There was still a socialist, working-class flavour that I picked up in the pubs and the groups. We were shit. The place was shit. From the double decker I would look down as the coins were thrown or incursions were attempted between the away corner and the kop. The Carling stand was incongruous, a harbinger of corporatisation and profit motive. A big pillar stood right in your field of vision. A man behind me pissed down a rolled-up fanzine. UPTON FOR STEEL. That will always be football for me, for better or worse. An outpost of anarchy landing in the middle of the city on a Saturday afternoon. I don't miss the stadium. I miss absolutely everything else.

Nobody comes out of the whole thing looking good - Haaland for throwing the ball at the back of Gabriel's head, the stay humble bollocks, Gabriel shouting in his face today - it's all so unedifying. They all need to watch the GOAT a lot more. A majestic eagle. Air guitar. Flag smashing. These are masters-level, doctorate moves.

The third is just... I don't have the words

This is absolutely DISGUSTING