Stopharage

Fawa news works

Don’t expect any sweat on them.

Never in doubt. Join my Jordan Ayew Fan Club. £20 a year, bi-annual newsletter, complimentary pack of Werther’s Originals and a pair of Official Ayew mittens.

The Ayew redemption story begins now.

What was the corner about? Jesus wept.

Last winner incoming. Scenes on their way. Please.

Mukasa’s distribution has been pretty poor today. Couple of really insightful moves but some pretty weak corners.

Other results are going well for us too. 😬

How on earth are we going in behind? This is absolute schoolboy level errors.

Don’t know what everyone’s so worked up for. If this was bad news, Top wouldn’t have promoted Rudders and the bloke in charge of finance, would he?

I’d bet a sizeable amount that the statue would have more movement up front than this dosser.

Provided an overhead assist for Fatawu's goal. Can't teach that level of craft and ingenuity.

Daka with his staple scuff-shot early doors.

Braindead tackle. Absolutely ridiculous.

Mavididi must be related to Samson, he’s been atrocious since that barnet has been cut. Perhaps the reverse would be true for Choudhary.

Thomas to Daka - our two worst players combining for a cracker. Bloody hell, might put a tenner on the lottery tonight.

Pick every grain up with tweezers. It will less painful than the last two hours of this rabble.

The only way we’re avoiding relegation is the welcome embrace of nuclear Armageddon that Trump is instigating. Got to look at the positives.

Obviously all those who criticise Okoli have never played football to a decent standard or understand how challenging professional football is. Neither have I - he’s utter ŵank.

This is kind of related. Imaginary Leicester fans on the way back from a chastening midweek loss broke my window and destroyed the upstairs carpet. At uni, I lived on Bruce Street, so not far from Filbert St. Decided to stay over at Easter rather than go back home. My housemate and gf both decided to stay. We were all skint. However, I had a bit of money in my account but had lost my cash card, so had ordered another one. Only problem was, another student (who we called Data) had the front room of the house, which the letterbox went into. He’d decided to lock his room when he went home, meaning we had no way to retrieve my new cash card. Desperate for some much needed funds, we did the only thing that we could think of and smashed one of the front windows to get into his room and gain access to the letterbox. Obviously, the cash card hadn’t arrived. Ever quick-witted, I then had to notify the landlord and informed her that Leicester fans had smashed one of our windows after a midweek loss. She somehow bought this excuse but then said that we should try and board up the window until she could get it fixed, which would be after the long Easter weekend. She said that there were probably some boards up in the loft. There was no light in the loft and we had no torch; mindful of falling through the ceiling we created an ingenious light source. We got an old jumper, doused it in some cheap and nasty aftershave and lit it. The only way we could light it was by putting some paper in the toaster. Anyway, I then proceeded to enter the loft, on top of my mates shoulders, brandishing a fiery jumper, which was dripping flames all over the carpet. Being a student flat, the carpet was highly flammable, so we then had to rip it out and stick it in the bath whilst trying to avoid first degree burns. Angry, imaginary Leicester fans have a lot to answer for.

Playoffs here we come!

Never in doubt. Viva La Rowett Revolution!

I saw quite a lot in that first half to make me optimistic. Then I remembered I'm not a Stoke fan.

Never a good sign when the commentator says 'this could be a lot of fun.'

Clean sheet and a 3-0 win to Rowett's Invincibles.