Stopharage

Which of our cavalcade of clowns are going to score a hilarious own goal, now that we're back in the game?

I miss the international break.

Credit to Daka there. Although he was trying to hit it into touch obviously.

Daka is related to Ali Dia, right?

Mavididi doing his best to set up the BDCR redemption story.

Anyway, the Winks redemption beings now.

The forum's advertising delivers.

Stupid challenge, was more an orange than a red but we'd be calling out for a red if it was against us. How on earth anyone can think Winks shouldn't be in the team is beyond me. Even moreso when we're down to 10 and need someone with a brain that can hold onto the ball and bring others into the game.

Thought this would be about Iheanacho!

Just when you thought this transfer window couldn't get even worse, thanks a bunch Florian.

Fairly certain we’re signing someone who hasn’t been mentioned yet. Name will come out of the blue in the next 24 hours.

Judging by his shooting prowess, if we had a deal to Saudi sorted he’d miss the flight.

Manor Solomon after Dewsbury-Hall, who's next Downtown Abbey?

My mate Faras works for the Marrakesh Express and said that Bilal loves the Clock Tower too much to trade it in for the Crystal Palace Transmission Tower. Edit - Silly me, turns out that the Marrakesh Express isn’t a newspaper so he’s clearly no ITK journo and also explains why he kept trying to sell me weed. Mods, please delete.

I hope to god we don't sign him otherwise I'll have to endure constant reminders of Surpise, Surprise and how a Cillagram ruined my childhood when my old man received one. Got terrorised at school for about a year as a result. Would be less painful to give Daka a 5 year extension and have to watch that.

I’m convinced he’s the anti-Samson, he cuts his awful haircut he’ll turn into a world class talent. He looks like Viz’s Mr Logic.

That article says we’re not allowed to spend under the current PSR restrictions. Doesn’t read as a self-imposed measure.

Judging by his mobility and athleticism it's fair to say that Skipp is the living embodiment of nominative determinism.

I know loads of people on here are gunning for Winks, but we're screwed in midfield without him. If I had to play with half of this rabble I'd be sulking.

Whoever we get in as Striker is going to have the weight of the club on their shoulders, so we’d better sign bloody Atlas.

This news is very much a Turkish Delight.

I’m not convinced this is a good move. If we get him in there’s far less chance of Daka cheering up my futile existence by air-kicking the football and giving me one little crumb of mirth.

Praise be, it really is National Sign a Shit player day.

Jonathan Rowe on loan from Marseille - just been transfer listed after a bust-up with Adrien Rabiot.