I'm not blaming refs, we should have been good enough to get over that hump.
However, denying that it wouldn't have made a difference is quite blinkered. My point is whole seasons swing on moments like that and random chance is a fickle mistress.
To a lesser extent, Daka's disallowed goal vs Plymouth, which could have quite easily have gone the other way, especially without VAR, but instead they score their goal of the season.
Which if anything is where you need someone who instills confidence, something we are lacking. At least while Coady isn't playing.