Worst Dates

[Ross-Kemp]

****ing superb. As always, take a bow @Ric Flair.

 

Would love to have a night out on the tiles with you. 

[Langston]

Quote

 I met her at the train station, she'd got a golf cap on, it nearly tipped me over the edge.

 

FFS

[Bert]

10 hours ago, Ric Flair said:

Here is the harrowing tale of a series of unfortunate dealings I had with a very plump and hard to shake Geordie woman. 16 years on and it still gives me the fcukin willies.

The best. Some fantastic phrases throughout. 

[Jattdogg]

 

10 hours ago, Ric Flair said:

I was getting ready at the hotel on my own, or atleast I thought I was on my own when this naked creature appeared in the bathroom as I was about to get in to the shower. It was her, she'd let herself in somehow and thought i'd like some company in a shower, only fit for one, let alone 2 people and one of them being a tank. I'd like to say I didn't sh*g her in the shower, or sh*g her at all that weekend but I did and probably in excess of 5 times, i'm not sure whether it was because she'd had a kid, but it was like stirring porridge when I gave her one. Touch the sides? They were about 3 feet away. I feel sick

Oh man, i cant breathe right now this has done me in. Lol 

[Manini]

Oh man. Hellyn has done me here, crying  

[HighPeakFox]

I need to shower my mind.

[BeardyFox]

While at uni, I met a friend of one of my mates girlfriends.We got on really well, she was a fiesty red head with a hell of a body and a right laugh. After a bit of texting we agreed to go on a date, the following weekend we'd go to the cinema and see where the night takes us. 

I couldn't wait! 

 

However on the following Thursday I developed the sh*ts so bad that I honestly thought I was never - not going to be sat on a toilet. In my fevered state I was convinced I couldn't reschedule as she may not want to go out with me again. So Friday night rolls round and I play myself up with lucozade, shower and liberally apply some Joop Jump!

 

Looking and smelling like an extra from The Walking Dead I meet her and had the most uncomfortable 3 hours of my life squirming and sweating in my seat trying not to fart or sh*t myself. I'm not a religious man but I prayed to every God that my bum cheeks wouldn't surrender. 

Towards the end of the film I could smell the sweat and general turd odours on me so God knows what she must've thought. 

 

As we left i stopped to do up my jacket, I turned around and she'd legged it on to the nearest bus never to be seen again. 

[Danno]

 

Which one of you lot was it?

 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7445901/Woman-spent-93-Tinder-date-travelling-Leicester-Peterborough-told-fat.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailUK

[Manini]

3 minutes ago, DanNDH88 said:

 

Which one of you lot was it?

 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7445901/Woman-spent-93-Tinder-date-travelling-Leicester-Peterborough-told-fat.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailUK

3 hours travelling from Town to Peterborough? Were the passengers having to push the ****ing train?! 

[Jattdogg]

46 minutes ago, DanNDH88 said:

 

Which one of you lot was it?

 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7445901/Woman-spent-93-Tinder-date-travelling-Leicester-Peterborough-told-fat.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailUK

https://ca.gofundme.com/f/want-my-90-back-because-my-date-called-me-fat

£530 raised wow.

 

On a side  note, shes cute (even if lad said she gained weight) i'd definitely give her my attention! Dont hate on chub factor! Lol

[simFox]

I was talking to this girl in PoF many moons ago, I was living in a flat at the time loving the bachelor life. Anyway, I was staying in at the weekend because I was doing overtime at work and it was Halloween, when the girl I was talking to said she was close by and wanted to see me. Ok, great, she came round just like that, only she was dressed in fancy dress as a witch, complete with green makeup, the works. She was also a bit bigger than her pics too, so hustled her into the flat quickly.

 

Next morning, after waking next to the witch, I had to hurry her up to leave so I could get to work, unfortunately my car was getting fixed at the time so I was on the bus, and she wasn't driving.

 

I had to sit with her on the bus all the way into town, clearly everyone knew she was on the walk of shame and I had spent the night with her. Wasn't my best conquest.

[Stadt]

On 10/09/2019 at 19:11, simFox said:

I had to sit with her on the bus all the way into town, clearly everyone knew she was on the walk of shame and I had spent the night with her. Wasn't my best conquest.

@Basingstoke Fox has a similar story, hope he tells it  

[Costock_Fox]

On 10/09/2019 at 19:11, simFox said:

I was talking to this girl in PoF many moons ago, I was living in a flat at the time loving the bachelor life. Anyway, I was staying in at the weekend because I was doing overtime at work and it was Halloween, when the girl I was talking to said she was close by and wanted to see me. Ok, great, she came round just like that, only she was dressed in fancy dress as a witch, complete with green makeup, the works. She was also a bit bigger than her pics too, so hustled her into the flat quickly.

 

Next morning, after waking next to the witch, I had to hurry her up to leave so I could get to work, unfortunately my car was getting fixed at the time so I was on the bus, and she wasn't driving.

 

I had to sit with her on the bus all the way into town, clearly everyone knew she was on the walk of shame and I had spent the night with her. Wasn't my best conquest.

They all knew who’s broom stick she had been riding...