Ross-Kemp Posted 3 September 2019 Posted 3 September 2019 ****ing superb. As always, take a bow @Ric Flair. Would love to have a night out on the tiles with you.
Langston Posted 3 September 2019 Posted 3 September 2019 Quote I met her at the train station, she'd got a golf cap on, it nearly tipped me over the edge. FFS
Bert Posted 3 September 2019 Posted 3 September 2019 10 hours ago, Ric Flair said: Here is the harrowing tale of a series of unfortunate dealings I had with a very plump and hard to shake Geordie woman. 16 years on and it still gives me the fcukin willies. The best. Some fantastic phrases throughout.
Jattdogg Posted 3 September 2019 Posted 3 September 2019 10 hours ago, Ric Flair said: I was getting ready at the hotel on my own, or atleast I thought I was on my own when this naked creature appeared in the bathroom as I was about to get in to the shower. It was her, she'd let herself in somehow and thought i'd like some company in a shower, only fit for one, let alone 2 people and one of them being a tank. I'd like to say I didn't sh*g her in the shower, or sh*g her at all that weekend but I did and probably in excess of 5 times, i'm not sure whether it was because she'd had a kid, but it was like stirring porridge when I gave her one. Touch the sides? They were about 3 feet away. I feel sick Oh man, i cant breathe right now this has done me in. Lol
BeardyFox Posted 9 September 2019 Posted 9 September 2019 While at uni, I met a friend of one of my mates girlfriends.We got on really well, she was a fiesty red head with a hell of a body and a right laugh. After a bit of texting we agreed to go on a date, the following weekend we'd go to the cinema and see where the night takes us. I couldn't wait! However on the following Thursday I developed the sh*ts so bad that I honestly thought I was never - not going to be sat on a toilet. In my fevered state I was convinced I couldn't reschedule as she may not want to go out with me again. So Friday night rolls round and I play myself up with lucozade, shower and liberally apply some Joop Jump! Looking and smelling like an extra from The Walking Dead I meet her and had the most uncomfortable 3 hours of my life squirming and sweating in my seat trying not to fart or sh*t myself. I'm not a religious man but I prayed to every God that my bum cheeks wouldn't surrender. Towards the end of the film I could smell the sweat and general turd odours on me so God knows what she must've thought. As we left i stopped to do up my jacket, I turned around and she'd legged it on to the nearest bus never to be seen again.
Danno Posted 10 September 2019 Author Posted 10 September 2019 Which one of you lot was it? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7445901/Woman-spent-93-Tinder-date-travelling-Leicester-Peterborough-told-fat.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailUK
Guest Manini Posted 10 September 2019 Posted 10 September 2019 3 minutes ago, DanNDH88 said: Which one of you lot was it? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7445901/Woman-spent-93-Tinder-date-travelling-Leicester-Peterborough-told-fat.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailUK 3 hours travelling from Town to Peterborough? Were the passengers having to push the ****ing train?!
Jattdogg Posted 10 September 2019 Posted 10 September 2019 46 minutes ago, DanNDH88 said: Which one of you lot was it? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7445901/Woman-spent-93-Tinder-date-travelling-Leicester-Peterborough-told-fat.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailUK https://ca.gofundme.com/f/want-my-90-back-because-my-date-called-me-fat £530 raised wow. On a side note, shes cute (even if lad said she gained weight) i'd definitely give her my attention! Dont hate on chub factor! Lol
simFox Posted 10 September 2019 Posted 10 September 2019 I was talking to this girl in PoF many moons ago, I was living in a flat at the time loving the bachelor life. Anyway, I was staying in at the weekend because I was doing overtime at work and it was Halloween, when the girl I was talking to said she was close by and wanted to see me. Ok, great, she came round just like that, only she was dressed in fancy dress as a witch, complete with green makeup, the works. She was also a bit bigger than her pics too, so hustled her into the flat quickly. Next morning, after waking next to the witch, I had to hurry her up to leave so I could get to work, unfortunately my car was getting fixed at the time so I was on the bus, and she wasn't driving. I had to sit with her on the bus all the way into town, clearly everyone knew she was on the walk of shame and I had spent the night with her. Wasn't my best conquest.
Stadt Posted 12 September 2019 Posted 12 September 2019 On 10/09/2019 at 19:11, simFox said: I had to sit with her on the bus all the way into town, clearly everyone knew she was on the walk of shame and I had spent the night with her. Wasn't my best conquest. @Basingstoke Fox has a similar story, hope he tells it
VLC86 Posted 13 September 2019 Posted 13 September 2019 On 10/09/2019 at 19:11, simFox said: I was talking to this girl in PoF many moons ago, I was living in a flat at the time loving the bachelor life. Anyway, I was staying in at the weekend because I was doing overtime at work and it was Halloween, when the girl I was talking to said she was close by and wanted to see me. Ok, great, she came round just like that, only she was dressed in fancy dress as a witch, complete with green makeup, the works. She was also a bit bigger than her pics too, so hustled her into the flat quickly. Next morning, after waking next to the witch, I had to hurry her up to leave so I could get to work, unfortunately my car was getting fixed at the time so I was on the bus, and she wasn't driving. I had to sit with her on the bus all the way into town, clearly everyone knew she was on the walk of shame and I had spent the night with her. Wasn't my best conquest. They all knew who’s broom stick she had been riding...
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