Worst Dates

[Jattdogg]

10 hours ago, CollinsLCFC said:

Few years ago, went on a date with a Tinder match. Went for drinks on Brauny gate, started well had a few and went to Soar Point for a few games of Pool. As up to this point I was the gentleman and bought all the drinks, she said she will get us a round. I said I will have a JD and Coke, which she shouted DOUBLE at. I like this woman.

 

Anyway, after a few more hours of drinking, we were both quite drunk and went back to Brauny Gate, where she knocked her drink over which went over my crotch. She flirtily tried to dry it herself,  but as it was the first date and she was drunk, I laughed it off and went toilet to dry up. Anyway, we decided to get some late night food. The first food place we came across was closing up, doors locked and the staff mopping. I said lets move on and she started banging at the window, shouting. Ok she is fiesty..

 

So then she says she wants a subway. I ask her what she wants, Tuna Melt.. 20 mins in she's got bits of Tuna all round her mouth and out of nowhere she grabs my head and kisses me. Breath stunk like a cats arse. Pulling Tuna out of my mouth, I decided I dont actually really like this girl and call her a taxi. She refuses to get in and says she wants to come home with me. 'Ok, we will go to mine'.. I help her get in, seatbelted up, jump back out, slam the door and literally run away...

As an 18 to 23 year old i would have run away too. Now that im 39, i would have shagged her tuna face more rotten. Lol i also apologize to all women who are reading this as i have no shame but its the topic!  Feel free to share your storieas. If any of you ladies are in fact the real life tuna lady then message me! Lol

 

 

10 hours ago, z-layrex said:

6 years ago. Met a girl online, we met up in a local pub and although I wasn't overly attracted to her, I really liked her personality and she did something else in a park after the pub closed so decided to see her again.

 

Second date, over a steak she (out of ****ing nowhere) asks if I'd be up for letting her do me up the arse with a strap on.

 

Safe to say I managed to nope out after letting her do the same thing again in the same park.

Rimmes your arse huh of course she was going to ask about anal next. Lol

 

9 hours ago, RoboFox said:

Took a girl once to Dans Le Noir? In Farringdon.

For those unfamiliar, it's a dining experience where you eat in the dark. And when I say dark, it's pitch black. You can't see a thing. 

 

It was some stunning Swedish Iranian girl, and we'd kinda hooked up before so I thought "It'll be quirky!". Turns out going on a date when you literally cannot see your date isn't the best idea.

 

At some point I spilled a drink, some of which found its way into her handbag on the floor and when I emerged bleary-eyed, I had assortment of sauces all over my hands and jacket... We went next door to a pub to kinda debrief and have a few drinks and things started to get a bit odd. She pretty quickly moved the conversation onto some pretty dark experiences she'd had, then kept pushing me on the worst kind of emotional pain I'd ever felt.

 

When my experiences didn't quite compare to hers (I didn't really want to share, so purposely didn't divulge much), she started almost chastising me. I didn't feel comfortable and the whole thing was clearly going down the shitter. Within an hour we were barely speaking, it was all very awkward indeed.

 

We said our goodbyes and that was that... I was left sitting there, a bit drunk, nursing a warm pint, covered in sauce and feeling rather small.

 

I called her the next day to ask what she was up to at the weekend.

 

Sounds like you ended the night like most of us married men after a wank.

 

Can't say I've ever had a bad date. Either got laid or didnt as their was no connection.

Edited 22 August 2019 by Jattdogg

[Nick]

8 hours ago, Dr The Singh said:

It wasnt your mates lad you liar, it was you wasn't it

Ha, no.

[Countryfox]

 

28th July 1914 was quite a shit one ...    and 1st September 1939 wasn’t much better !!

[Buce]

 

These were awful - straight back to asda:

 

[Jattdogg]

4 hours ago, Countryfox said:

 

28th July 1914 was quite a shit one ...    and 1st September 1939 wasn’t much better !!

You really love those old women huh? 

[The Horse's Mouth]

Shagged a bird on a night out, but started talking to her after and thought she's alright actually, wouldn't mind going for round 2 and seeing where this goes like. Going back and forth and she's like do you fancy a drink at the spoons and I'm like alright tidy, might get my leg over here. I turn up and she neglected to mention that I was going to be having drinks with not only her but her mum . She was like, "oh did I not mention that" , no you didnt love.  I feel like I can get on with anyone after a few, but this was quite prickly and wasn't working for me at all, 20 minutes in all i can think of is how the **** do I make a dash here, this ain't worth this aggro. Luckily, I said I was off for a fag and didn't go back in again, got a few angry messages an hour or so later and then bumped into her a few months later on a train, very awkward. Lesson learnt, never let them dictate the conditions, always be the one to decide the place and the time little tip from me to you. 

[Claudiofox]

Married my first love never dated anyone else in 30 years , if I was ever single I'd be hopeless at Tinderbook and stuff like that 

[Costock_Fox]

2 hours ago, Claudiofox said:

Married my first love never dated anyone else in 30 years , if I was ever single I'd be hopeless at Tinderbook and stuff like that 

Worst one yet. Sympathy’s.

[Ian Nacho]

Was speaking to this girl from Tinder for a few weeks, seemed pretty decent, attractive as well. Decided to meet up, my first surpise is that she decided to bring her mate along which was very strange, the second surprise was she looked about 15 stone heavier than she did it her pictures and about 4"8, not to mention her mate was actually pretty decent. Literally after 30 seconds I'm just like fvck this I want to go home, so eventually changed my mates contact name on my phone to Mum and told him to text me with some bullsh*t story saying I had to come home. I showed her the text and she was like ah okay we'll come on the bus with you which I agreed to. Whilst walking with her to the bus stop she bumped into a mate and she was talking to her for about 2 or 3 minutes, it was at this point when I legged it when she wasn't looking. Thought I'd go walk further to a different bus stop which busses to hers didn't go from. Unknown to me the bus routes had change and guess who was on the front seat as I got on the bus. Fatso.

[SpacedX]

6 minutes ago, Ian Nacho said:

Was speaking to this girl from Tinder for a few weeks, seemed pretty decent, attractive as well. Decided to meet up, my first surpise is that she decided to bring her mate along which was very strange, the second surprise was she looked about 15 stone heavier than she did it her pictures and about 4"8, not to mention her mate was actually pretty decent. Literally after 30 seconds I'm just like fvck this I want to go home, so eventually changed my mates contact name on my phone to Mum and told him to text me with some bullsh*t story saying I had to come home. I showed her the text and she was like ah okay we'll come on the bus with you which I agreed to. Whilst walking with her to the bus stop she bumped into a mate and she was talking to her for about 2 or 3 minutes, it was at this point when I legged it when she wasn't looking. Thought I'd go walk further to a different bus stop which busses to hers didn't go from. Unknown to me the bus routes had change and guess who was on the front seat as I got on the bus. Fatso.

That was my sister you bastard.

[Langston]

4 hours ago, Ian Nacho said:

Was speaking to this girl from Tinder for a few weeks, seemed pretty decent, attractive as well. Decided to meet up, my first surpise is that she decided to bring her mate along which was very strange, the second surprise was she looked about 15 stone heavier than she did it her pictures and about 4"8, not to mention her mate was actually pretty decent. Literally after 30 seconds I'm just like fvck this I want to go home, so eventually changed my mates contact name on my phone to Mum and told him to text me with some bullsh*t story saying I had to come home. I showed her the text and she was like ah okay we'll come on the bus with you which I agreed to. Whilst walking with her to the bus stop she bumped into a mate and she was talking to her for about 2 or 3 minutes, it was at this point when I legged it when she wasn't looking. Thought I'd go walk further to a different bus stop which busses to hers didn't go from. Unknown to me the bus routes had change and guess who was on the front seat as I got on the bus. Fatso.

 

Never happened to me so I'm blind on this but would it really be that much hassle to have a couple of voddy and cokes with her, regardless? Doesn't sound like she was smitten with you tbh.

 

[ScouseFox]

gotta say i’ve always wondered that, too.

 

if you’ve been yapping for a few weeks either after matching on an app or meeting on a night out or whatever, even if you turn up and think ah man she ain’t as fit as i wanted, you’re a bit of a weirdo if you can’t just get tipsy and carry on chatting shit and your first and only thought is some intricate plan to run away. 

[MPH]

Many years ago now i met a girl from Denmark. we got on well.

 

 

So well in fact that I Invited her to a Leicester game. Her response was “ Can i bring a book?”

 

 

 

No love, No you can’t.

 

 

I was a young lad who loved his footy so that was very insulting to me and a complete deal breaker.

[Mark_w]

On 26/08/2019 at 19:28, Ian Nacho said:

Was speaking to this girl from Tinder for a few weeks, seemed pretty decent, attractive as well. Decided to meet up, my first surpise is that she decided to bring her mate along which was very strange, the second surprise was she looked about 15 stone heavier than she did it her pictures and about 4"8, not to mention her mate was actually pretty decent. Literally after 30 seconds I'm just like fvck this I want to go home, so eventually changed my mates contact name on my phone to Mum and told him to text me with some bullsh*t story saying I had to come home. I showed her the text and she was like ah okay we'll come on the bus with you which I agreed to. Whilst walking with her to the bus stop she bumped into a mate and she was talking to her for about 2 or 3 minutes, it was at this point when I legged it when she wasn't looking. Thought I'd go walk further to a different bus stop which busses to hers didn't go from. Unknown to me the bus routes had change and guess who was on the front seat as I got on the bus. Fatso.

That must have been beautifully awkward. You deserved it.

[SouthStandUpperTier]

42 minutes ago, MPH said:

Many years ago now i met a girl from Denmark. we got on well.

 

 

So well in fact that I Invited her to a Leicester game. Her response was “ Can i bring a book?”

 

 

 

No love, No you can’t.

 

 

I was a young lad who loved his footy so that was very insulting to me and a complete deal breaker.

Should've given her a copy of Of Fossils & Foxes to read.

[foxfanazer]

Was on a first date with a girl I'd met online. She was really attractive and seemed keen. The conversation got onto football and I challenged her to name the title winning Leicester squad. She was doing so well but ended up forgetting about Nathan Dyer. Never messaged her again

Edited 27 August 2019 by foxfanazer

[Facecloth]

8 hours ago, foxfanazer said:

Was on a first date with a girl I'd met online. She was really attractive and seemed keen. The conversation got onto football and I challenged her to name the title winning Leicester squad. She was doing so well but ended up forgetting about Nathan Dyer. Never messaged her again

You did the right thing.

[StanSP]

8 hours ago, foxfanazer said:

Was on a first date with a girl I'd met online. She was really attractive and seemed keen. The conversation got onto football and I challenged her to name the title winning Leicester squad. She was doing so well but ended up forgetting about Nathan Dyer. Never messaged her again

I hope her first player she answered with was Sir Jeffery Schlupp. 

[Meat and 2 veg]

On 27/08/2019 at 12:49, ScouseFox said:

gotta say i’ve always wondered that, too.

 

if you’ve been yapping for a few weeks either after matching on an app or meeting on a night out or whatever, even if you turn up and think ah man she ain’t as fit as i wanted, you’re a bit of a weirdo if you can’t just get tipsy and carry on chatting shit and your first and only thought is some intricate plan to run away. 

Even if the cute, blonde you thought you were talking to turns about to be a hairy, overweight middle aged man, with his front two teeth missing?

[Buce]

6 minutes ago, Meat and 2 veg said:

Even if the cute, blonde you thought you were talking to turns about to be a hairy, overweight middle aged man, with his front two teeth missing?

 

Sounds like the mother-in-law, tbh...

[ScouseFox]

20 minutes ago, Meat and 2 veg said:

Even if the cute, blonde you thought you were talking to turns about to be a hairy, overweight middle aged man, with his front two teeth missing?

i’d have a couple of pints with a top chap if he was still sound 

[Langston]

2 hours ago, Meat and 2 veg said:

Even if the cute, blonde you thought you were talking to turns about to be a hairy, overweight middle aged man, with his front two teeth missing?

 

In fairness, this is hardly comparable to someone who is just a little overweight in comparison to their photos.

Edited 30 August 2019 by Langston

[Devonfox1884]

When I was 18 I went on my first ‘proper’ date with a 20 year old girl I had got to know from work. She was lovely, good-looking and smart, the only draw back being that I thought she was quite introverted but it wasn’t a big issue.

 

We go out for dinner and we have literally just ordered. And out of absolutely nowhere she says: “I think this time in 2 years I want to be married with a house and child”.

 

I thought it was some kind of twisted, sick joke so I laugh only to see her face drop. She was serious... the first date and the first meaningful thing she says is that... mental.

 

I got out of there as quick as I could, really wasn’t the best experience with it being my first proper date and all  

 

[Russell sprout]

I met this girl from Northampton who was staying at oadby halls of residence,

i was playing Sunday league football at the time so with it being a Saturday night out arranged to get picked up on the Saturday,

on the night out I brought everything on my credit card and ended back at ‘the halls of residence’

whilst doing what 20 years olds do I found myself with my head between her legs under the cover,

but then a stench hit me,

like rotten eggs,

she had farted,

not being in the mood now I made my excuses to leave,

it was pitch black and as I had no cash on me as I paid everything on credit card,

I asked her if she had any change for a taxi,

and she obliged,

she poured a load of coins into my hand,

i told her il be in touch and quickly left thinking I’ve got £30-£40 here,

when I got outside and under a street light I checked how much was there,

and she literally gave me all her change,

all £1.63 of it made up of 1p’s 2p’s and 5p’s,

so ended up walking back from oadby to Syston via Leicester,

lookily I saw some friends queuing for a taxi and jumped in with them but still an experience I laugh about now,

and we never saw each other again 😁

[HappyHamza]

About 4 or 5 years ago, in my mind thirties, I met a girl in her mid twenties from tinterweb. Took her to a decent pub out Swithland/woodhouse way where she proceeded to loudly tell me that she was married but get husband had buggered off one week before, during which time her children had been taken into care. Honestly this is true.  She carried on to tell me about her husband's tattooed penis (if he's on here - soz). Was pretty memorable. Still shagged her, obvs.

 

In fact what made this a bit better was that a couple of days later I thought she was texting me but it turned out to be her 21yo mate who I ended up getting to grips with too. Not a bad week all in all.