Barnsley pre Match Small Talk & Invective & Shenanigans

[davieG]

Speak your mind

Most people want to be liked - but all too often this need to feel appreciated and admired can draw us into saying "yes" when actually we really mean "no".

Roy Leighton has devised this straightforward exercise to help you increase your assertiveness.

<h2 class="contentH">What's it for?</h2>Always saying "yes" when you mean "no" is a surprisingly easy habit to get into. However, if you always behave in the same way, you'll never get anywhere new. This exercise will help you get off that treadmill. We all have the power to change our patterns of behaviour and become what we want.

<h2 class="contentH">How does it work?</h2>This is a good group exercise, but can also be effective as a one-on-one session. It's better not to do it on your own, as the whole point is to modify your response to others. It also uses the 'Pendulum effect'. It allows you to go to the opposite extreme of where - or who - you usually are so that somewhere along the line a 'middle way' can be found.

• Imagine a scenario in the past where you have said "yes" but meant "no". Explain to the group or your exercise partner what the situation was, what the outcome was and how you felt.
  
• Ask your partner to ask you the question that you should have said "no" to. This needs to be one sentence.
  
• It shouldn't turn into a debate! We're not looking for the person asking the question to give a convincing argument of why they need a "yes". As soon as they start to ask the question, interrupt and say clearly and loudly: "NO!".
  
• If there are several people in the group, get them to form a line. Each person should begin to ask you: "Can you stay late at work tonight?" or "Mum, please can you help me do this?" - and so on. As soon as you have said "no" they must go to the back of the queue.
  
• If there are just two of you, then the questioner receives the "no", steps away and then steps back and asks again.
  
• With each request your "no" has to become more and more determined, blunt and even rude. Whether you're working in pairs or as part of a group, the questions should come thick and fast, in as many ways as you can imagine.
  
• This exercise can go on for at least 30 "nos". Once you've finished, jot down on a piece of paper how you feel. Focus on the positive feelings you're experiencing. Keep this piece of paper with you.
  
• The next time you feel like saying "yes" remember your feelings and how you felt writing down those words. Feel free to say "no". Back it up with a short, reasonable explanation if necessary, but if you mean "no" then let it be heard!
  

Remember, it's often the case that people treat us as we feel we deserve to be treated. Once we make it clear first to ourselves, and then through our actions to others that the rules have changed, then people will change the way they treat you as a matter of course. With dedication you can become the person you want to be.

Note:I haven't read it either

[Flexx]

Team;

Logan (No need to drop him now, henderson hasn't played in a while and Logan will get better the more he plays)

Stearman

McAuley

Kisnorbo

Nils

Newton

Weso

Hughes (replace him with King later on)

Mattock

Hume

Fryatt

There's no chance of a draw with Wortho in caretaker charge for 2 more games. I can see him going all out for the win in this and the Wolves game.

3-1 city

[Thracian]

I can see no reason whatsoever to start with Fryatt. Even with the one good run he had at Preston he had Mattock outside him in a really dangerous position and failed to use him, turned inside for a shot and was easily dispossessed.

I would far rather have the strength and speed of Hammond or even the impishness (together with full fitness) of Billy McKay

But doubtless Worthington will go for the same again after Preston.

That being the case I would definitely have King and Sheehan on the bench.

So:

Logan;

Stearman, McAuley (if fit), Kisnorbo, Nils;

Newton, Wesolowski, Hughes, Mattock;

Hammond, Hume.

subs: Henderson, Sheehan, King, Cadamarteri, Fryatt.

[MBK]

I can see no reason whatsoever to start with Fryatt. Even with the one good run he had at Preston he had Mattock outside him in a really dangerous position and failed to use him, turned inside for a shot and was easily dispossessed.

I would far rather have the strength and speed of Hammond or even the impishness (together with full fitness) of Billy McKay

But doubtless Worthington will go for the same again after Preston.

That being the case I would definitely have King and Sheehan on the bench.

So:

Logan;

Stearman, McAuley (if fit), Kisnorbo, Nils;

Newton, Wesolowski, Hughes, Mattock;

Hammond, Hume.

subs: Henderson, Sheehan, King, Fryatt, Porter (if fit) or Gradel if not.

Crystal Palace were woeful it seems. I'd rather give Gradel his chance instead maybe for the last 20 minutes.

[Dames]

I'm Feeling experimental.

Douglas

Maybury

McCarthy (Surprise comeback)

Kisnorbo

Skills

Hughes

Jarret

Weso

Mattock

Horsefield

Hammond

[Mort]

Unchanged starting line-up, though bring King onto the bench along with Porter (if he's not "poorly")...

Logan

Stearman

Kisnorbo

McAuley

Nissa

Newton

Weso

Hughes (no reason to bring Jarret back on the basis of the last two games)

Mattock

Hume

Fryatt

Subs: Henderson, King, Porter, Horsefield, Cadamarti.

Be tempted to give Gradel and McKay a crack, but as things stand i wouldnt want to risk this match which is going to be tough for us, and wait till the Wolves game when we're at Home and (with any luck) out of the woods mathmatically. Aim to give King a run out for 20-15 minutes (if things seem to be under control!) in place of either Newton or Hughes...

Its going to be a bit of a battle IMHO, maybe both teams wont quite be feeling the same pressure they were at the weekend or in the weeks before that, but both managers will be very keen to capitalise on improvments within their teams, I' say city might be in a little better shape, i think our traveling fans will be in good voice and City had the better game at deepdale against a strong Presston side than Barnsley did at a Selhurst Park against a "disinterested" Palace.

[weggy1976]

I'm Feeling experimental.

Douglas

Maybury

McCarthy (Surprise comeback)

Kisnorbo

Skills

Hughes

Jarret

Weso

Mattock

Horsefield

Hammond

Experimantal - daft springs to mind. Half of that lot will be out the door nexzt season hopefully.....

[weggy1976]

5-4-1- to keep a clean sheet for the point ?????????????

[weggy1976]

joking before you all reply. At our record of clean sheets this season...8 - in those games we have got 21 points. The way forward ........ "back to basics"

[Ric Flair]

Logan

Stearman

McAuley

Kisnorbo

Nisse

Newton

Hughes

Wesolowski

Mattock (if fit)

Fryatt

Hume

Subs: Gradel, King, Horsfield, Odihambo, Maybury

[Ric Flair]

Speak your mind

Most people want to be liked - but all too often this need to feel appreciated and admired can draw us into saying "yes" when actually we really mean "no".

Roy Leighton has devised this straightforward exercise to help you increase your assertiveness.

<h2 class="contentH">What's it for?</h2>Always saying "yes" when you mean "no" is a surprisingly easy habit to get into. However, if you always behave in the same way, you'll never get anywhere new. This exercise will help you get off that treadmill. We all have the power to change our patterns of behaviour and become what we want.

<h2 class="contentH">How does it work?</h2>This is a good group exercise, but can also be effective as a one-on-one session. It's better not to do it on your own, as the whole point is to modify your response to others. It also uses the 'Pendulum effect'. It allows you to go to the opposite extreme of where - or who - you usually are so that somewhere along the line a 'middle way' can be found.

• Imagine a scenario in the past where you have said "yes" but meant "no". Explain to the group or your exercise partner what the situation was, what the outcome was and how you felt.
  
• Ask your partner to ask you the question that you should have said "no" to. This needs to be one sentence.
  
• It shouldn't turn into a debate! We're not looking for the person asking the question to give a convincing argument of why they need a "yes". As soon as they start to ask the question, interrupt and say clearly and loudly: "NO!".
  
• If there are several people in the group, get them to form a line. Each person should begin to ask you: "Can you stay late at work tonight?" or "Mum, please can you help me do this?" - and so on. As soon as you have said "no" they must go to the back of the queue.
  
• If there are just two of you, then the questioner receives the "no", steps away and then steps back and asks again.
  
• With each request your "no" has to become more and more determined, blunt and even rude. Whether you're working in pairs or as part of a group, the questions should come thick and fast, in as many ways as you can imagine.
  
• This exercise can go on for at least 30 "nos". Once you've finished, jot down on a piece of paper how you feel. Focus on the positive feelings you're experiencing. Keep this piece of paper with you.
  
• The next time you feel like saying "yes" remember your feelings and how you felt writing down those words. Feel free to say "no". Back it up with a short, reasonable explanation if necessary, but if you mean "no" then let it be heard!
  

Remember, it's often the case that people treat us as we feel we deserve to be treated. Once we make it clear first to ourselves, and then through our actions to others that the rules have changed, then people will change the way they treat you as a matter of course. With dedication you can become the person you want to be.

Note:I haven't read it either

This reminds me of the book 'Yes Man' by Danny Wallace and superb read if you get the chance.

[coale39]

I can see no reason whatsoever to start with Fryatt. Even with the one good run he had at Preston he had Mattock outside him in a really dangerous position and failed to use him, turned inside for a shot and was easily dispossessed.

I would far rather have the strength and speed of Hammond or even the impishness (together with full fitness) of Billy McKay

But doubtless Worthington will go for the same again after Preston.

That being the case I would definitely have King and Sheehan on the bench.

So:

Logan;

Stearman, McAuley (if fit), Kisnorbo, Nils;

Newton, Wesolowski, Hughes, Mattock;

Hammond, Hume.

subs: Henderson, Sheehan, King, Cadamarteri, Fryatt.

Hammond....

Hammond cant finish at all. How many finishers do we have in that team? Hume? Thats about it. Who cares if he is making problems for the opposition, him included would reduce our overall goal scoring capabilty.

[Flexx]

Hammond....

Hammond cant finish at all. How many finishers do we have in that team? Hume? Thats about it. Who cares if he is making problems for the opposition, him included would reduce our overall goal scoring capabilty.

Hammond can't play football, that's the end of it. He is pacey and will scare the defenders but he can't control the ball, he can't finish, he can't pass basically he can't do anything and to top it off he's always offside.

[Dames]

Thrac.

Your views on Hammond are misled and barmy.

That is all i will say.

[Mark]

Logan

Stearman

McAuley

Kisnorbo

Nisse

Newton

Hughes

Wesolowski

Mattock (if fit)

Fryatt

Hume

Subs: Gradel, King, Horsfield, Odihambo, Maybury

I'd go with the same but put Chambers on the bench instead, give him a bit of a boost after a nightmare year. Odi looks quite a bit off first team football at the moment.

[Thracian]

I'd go with the same but put Chambers on the bench instead, give him a bit of a boost after a nightmare year. Odi looks quite a bit off first team football at the moment.

It's a nice thought but it's a bit too early after his injury.

It's the second time his had knee trouble so I cannot imagine the City camp will be keen to over expose him this season - he didn't even get many games for the Academy before he was injured - mainly substitution appearances.

Like Weso, I think the wise thing would be to ease him back gently and let him use the summer to give himself some extra time to add mileage and build a bit more strength and confidence.

[Ric Flair]

I'd go with the same but put Chambers on the bench instead, give him a bit of a boost after a nightmare year. Odi looks quite a bit off first team football at the moment.

True. Plus i'd forgot about Cadamarteri, perhaps he should be in the 16 somewhere.

[Thracian]

Thrac.

Your views on Hammond are misled and barmy.

That is all i will say.

Hammond is a much more difficult player to cope with than Fryatt on his current form.

Much faster. much stronger and much more awkward.

He lasts better than Horsfield and with Hume/Cadamarteri far too similar in style and stature he offers us something different and certainly as much likelihood of a goal as anyone.

We don't have a lot of options as I see it and certainly not ones you can rely on.

[dandannieldanok]

Hendo

Stearman/Maybury (Either, both useless)

Kisnorbo

McAuley

Johansson

Newton

Wesolowski

Hughes

Porter

Hume

Fryatt

Subs: Logan, Mattock, Stearman/Maybury, Jarrett, Cadamarteri.

[Blue Bob]

I doubt that Wortho will want to experiment too much, remember he is trying to win himself a new contract to manage City. Therefore I do not think he will look to blood any of the youth team who are not a better option than what he has already got. So he may well stick with the side he took to preston, Porter if fit will be back in and then a toss up between Hughes and Jarrett. McCarthy maybe on the last 20 minutes if he is fit.

If Wortho wants to experiment with the youth he will wait for the pre-season friendlies - if he gets the job. He has no other choice - imagine Hull and Leeds winning their last two games (i know it is unlikely but its a funny game) and we lose both and get relegated. If wortho has bought in the youngsters they will get the blame and he will be without a new contract. Simple to risky - stick with the winning formula. HAPPY ST.GEORGES DAY

[Bryn]

Hendo

Stearman/Maybury (Either, both useless)

Kisnorbo

McAuley

Johansson

Newton

Wesolowski

Hughes

Porter

Hume

Fryatt

Subs: Logan, Mattock, Stearman/Maybury, Jarrett, Cadamarteri.

Oddly enough, the Guardian had Stearman down as MoM.

Logan

Stearman

NEJ

McAuley

Kisnorbo

Newton

Mattock

Wesolowski

Hughes

Hume

Horsfield

Substitutes: Fryatt, Henderson, Cadamarteri, King, Maybury

Jarrett has no right to return to the team, Hughes has been playing well. I feel that Fryatt is somewhat unfit and may do better as an impact striker like against Derby, and I feel that our attacks seem to stick better when Horsfield is on. I feel more confident that the presence of Horsfield will not see us return to hoofball under NW. I'd like to see King given a run out.

[Simi]

Logan

Stearman

Kisnorbo

McAuley

Nils

Newton

Weso

Hughes

Mattock

Hume

Fryatt

No need for change I suppose.

[James.]

I'd keep the same side, possibly with the exception of getting Henderson back in goal.

It'll be interesting to see if Hughes and Wesolowski can build something of a partnership in midfield and I can't really think of an better alternative pairing up front than Hume and Fryatt - plus it gives us the option to throw on Horsefield later in the game to hold up play, should we be in a favourable position.

The defence kept a clean sheet so stick with them - from what I've read on here they were pretty well organised and limited the number of clear chances Preston had.

On the bench I'd be inclined to give another youth team player a potential outing - maybe King or Chambers. After the season the Academy have had I say they deserve it.

[davieG]

I'd keep the same side, possibly with the exception of getting Henderson back in goal.

It'll be interesting to see if Hughes and Wesolowski can build something of a partnership in midfield and I can't really think of an better alternative pairing up front than Hume and Fryatt - plus it gives us the option to throw on Horsefield later in the game to hold up play, should we be in a favourable position.

The defence kept a clean sheet so stick with them - from what I've read on here they were pretty well organised and limited the number of clear chances Preston had.

On the bench I'd be inclined to give another youth team player a potential outing - maybe King or Chambers. After the season the Academy have had I say they deserve it.

So why pick on Logan, Kisnorbo nearly lost us that game with an horrendous back pass, I haven't heard any calls for him to be ousted?

[James.]

So why pick on Logan, Kisnorbo nearly lost us that game with an horrendous back pass, I haven't heard any calls for him to be ousted?

I wouldn't say I was picking on Logan.

But over the course of the season Kisnorbo has proved himself time and again (while prone to the odd mistake, agreed) whereas Logan has come back in the side and from what I've read has been somewhat of a liability.

I'm well aware that not seeing the games first hand limits the weight of my argument but I rate Henderson more so than Logan and I don't really see why he should have been dropped.

EDIT: added to the fact that a good back four is as much about understanding as individual ability - let's not disturb the way McCauley and Kisnorbo have been together, from what I've seen they are a solid part of our defensive line.