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THEBIGJOHNSTEADER;

The Bob Monkhouse Appreciation Society

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Posted
Fixed! :thumbup:

Cheers Phube :cheers: .

I did debate long and hard when I wrote that but my hatred lives on so present tense was appropriate! :laugh: :P

Posted

bob monkhouse was fantastic, his timing was the best of anyone. he was a bit smarmy and slimey, but he played on this during his second coming in the mid-late nineties

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be different from this one?

When I first said I wanted to be a comedian, everybody laughed. They're not laughing now :whistle:

What do gardeners do when they retire?

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.

My father only hit me once - but he used a Volvo.

I tend to sleep in the nude. Which isn't a bad thing except for maybe on those long flights.

I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers.

Posted
bob monkhouse was fantastic, his timing was the best of anyone. he was a bit smarmy and slimey, but he played on this during his second coming in the mid-late nineties

What was that show he presented before he died, you see I liked that alot. Wipeout or something.

I tell you who I do hate, Lloyd Grossman, what a fanneh, his cooking sauces piss me off, you get less sauce in his products than any other sauce manufacturer and at a similar price. Not enough for one big serving, not enough to use half and then the other half a couple of days later permitting the consume by clause once opened (considerably less than a woman!). Tosser, just a tosser. Nice sauce though :thumbup:

Posted
My father only hit me once - but he used a Volvo.

lol

Bob Monkhouse was a comedy god. :worship:

And so was Bernard Manning.

Posted

Has hev died then? Not heard. Personally I thought he was a smarmy genius. Like some-one said his timing was spot on. He learnt his trade from the old time comedians and wrote some material for Bob Hope. I saw a video in a bar once when on holiday abroad and it was very X-rated. Surprised me a little. I've seen him do a question and answer session with an audience and any subject they suggested he'd come up with an antedote or joke. Not many comedians can do that. He was great at the double-meaning jokes but I don't think he was actually racist like Bernard Manning. He was not my favourite but I appreciated the talent he had amassed over the years. Not many of the old-timers left who learnt their trade trekking the clubs and doing variety shows.

Posted
Has hev died then? Not heard. Personally I thought he was a smarmy genius. Like some-one said his timing was spot on. He learnt his trade from the old time comedians and wrote some material for Bob Hope. I saw a video in a bar once when on holiday abroad and it was very X-rated. Surprised me a little. I've seen him do a question and answer session with an audience and any subject they suggested he'd come up with an antedote or joke. Not many comedians can do that. He was great at the double-meaning jokes but I don't think he was actually racist like Bernard Manning. He was not my favourite but I appreciated the talent he had amassed over the years. Not many of the old-timers left who learnt their trade trekking the clubs and doing variety shows.

He died in 2003 :blink:

Posted
The wife's Mother said, "When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave." I said: "Good, I'm being buried at sea."

I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussard's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said, 'Keep her moving sir, we're stock-taking'

I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt her.
Posted
If he died in 2003 that would explain why he hasn't hosted any game shows recently.

He'd still do a better job than Jasper Carrot on Golden Balls.

Posted

I shit myself at the cinema last night when Mr Monkhouse was on the screen walking around his own grave. Scary stuff.

Posted

Ive had phases that I actually liked and disliked these old comedians. I used to watch people like Bob Monkhouse and Jimmy Tarbuck when I was a kid and then when I became a teenager I switched to the new wave of comedian but as I am now in my mid-30s, unfortunately and embarrassingly I seem to like the newer style of comedian but even laugh at some of the stuff that the old comedians used to come out with. :|

One thing about Bob Monkhouse, he was not only the first orange comedian he also had a fantastic memory. I was amused when his book of gags was stolen and he refused to work until it was retrieved lol Soft sod.

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