Best Alan Partridge Quotes.....

[OriginalRobboFOX]

'King of Anglia!'

'A lie is a lie'

'Ooooh do you like my cones?? There little ones, I got them from a cycling test centre...'

...and so on

[isaidno]

"Doctor Pepper, it's like drinking fizzy Benylin "

[OriginalRobboFOX]

"Doctor Pepper, it's like drinking fizzy Benylin "

'Dont laugh Lynn, you've broken your neck...'

[Maybes]

Lexi.. Plural

In off the red

Lynn that was textbook

Edited 9 October 2007 by Maybes

[New England Fox]

Ben "Kurt Cobain"

AP "Who's he?"

Ben "Nirvana....blew his head off with a gun"

AP "Why?"

Ben "He was depressed"

AP "Why, were they not very good?"

Ben "No they were great"

AP "Oh, somebody should have told him them"

[OriginalRobboFOX]

Alan, 'Talkreallyquicklyshewontunderstandit...'

Lynn, 'Icouldrunheronanerrandintotown...'

Alan, 'Problemsolved...'

Lynn, 'What?'

Alan, 'Problem solved...'

[OriginalRobboFOX]

'You feed your swans beefburgers...'

[Maybes]

"Sonya lets be appalling"

[The People's Hero]

DAN

DAAAAAAAAN

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

He can't hear me.

[Maybes]

"Sonya lets be appalling"

"Lynn there sex people!!"

[Simi]

"Back of the net"

"Classic Intercourse"

[OriginalRobboFOX]

DAN

DAAAAAAAAN

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

He can't hear me.

.... 'I'll catch him inside.... Dan, Dan, Daaan!!'

[Bellend Sebastian]

"What's your favourite Beatles album then?"

"I think I'd have to say....Best of the Beatles"

[Simi]

"Not my face, I'm doing a photo-shoot for vision express"

[OriginalRobboFOX]

'Curly black and kinky mixed with yellow chinky...'

'I'll level with you Jed, I'm really scared'

Jed, 'You'll come and meet my brother then??'

Alan, 'Y-yea, No! No not with you you big spastic, you're a mentalist!!!!'

[Phube]

"Twat... that was liquid football!!"

"Shit... he's got a leg like a traction engine!!"

And;

"Sunday, Bloody Sunday... really sums up the frustration of a Sunday drive!"

[OriginalRobboFOX]

"Twat... that was liquid football!!"

"Shit... he's got a leg like a traction engine!!"

And;

"Sunday, Bloody Sunday... really sums up the frustration of a Sunday drive!"

'So how many people died in the potatoe famine........ I mean you will pay the price if you're a fussy eater..'

[Mark]

Butter my arse

You may enjoy this

[The People's Hero]

"Twat... that was liquid football!!"

"Shit... he's got a leg like a traction engine!!"

And;

"Sunday, Bloody Sunday... really sums up the frustration of a Sunday drive!"

To be fair, all 3 of those are classics.

The one where he's commentating on football is genius throughout.

[Mark]

"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down! "

[OriginalRobboFOX]

'No, his was in detail, it had hair at the base and a dotted line eminating from the crown....'

Edited 9 October 2007 by OriginalRobboFOX

[Geo V]

Quote: Alan: How much is a Monkey?

Builder: £500.

Alan: Errr, well how much is a mouse?

Builder: There's no such amount. A pony is £150.

Alan: I'll give you £200, that's a Pony and a bag of hooves!!

[General Smuts]

Cash Back!

No Offence Lynn, But Your Life Is Technically Not Worth Insuring

[Scow]

Alan: "Michael is in charge of our Internet computer"

Michael: "There's nee porn on it!"

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Alan: "Close your mouth Lynn."

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Alan: ''If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there’s a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife, who’s also your brother!!!''

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[Libertine]

Just a pipe of Pringles will suffice.