The Confession Box

[James.]

Using the power of anonymity afforded by the internet (forgetting the fact that many of us know each other for one second please) I hereby announce the confession box open for, err, confessions.

Any sin, no matter how large or small, is welcome to be confessed here. And with the power vested in me by the almighty "insert name of God here" I will officially pardon you of your sins and you can live a guilt free existence, forever more.

Confession 1:

As per the "Would you?" thread I once a stole a cassette tape from Our Price. It was a moment of madness for which I am sorry. I would like to apologise to Our Price and my mother who brought me up better than that. Thank you.

[The People's Hero]

I'll be a regular contributor to this thread.

[Zingari]

say 3 hail mary's and 2 hello dolly's , and i'll absolve you

[skinnydipper]

When I was about 12 there was a girl in my year whose head rocked from side to side as she walked. With each step her head would go one way and then the other. We used to call her Tick Tock. She now lives about 4 miles from me and occasionally I see her in the street. 30 years on I still feel bad about my teasing of this girl and even now I consider apologising to her but this would really be for my benefit rather than hers as to do so would probably bring up some bad memories for her.

So your confessional is most welcome

Forgive me Father James

[Durnerz]

When I was about 12 there was a girl in my year whose head rocked from side to side as she walked. With each step her head would go one way and then the other. We used to call her Tick Tock. She now lives about 4 miles from me and occasionally I see her in the street. 30 years on I still feel bad about my teasing of this girl and even now I consider apologising to her but this would really be for my benefit rather than hers as to do so would probably bring up some bad memories for her.

So your confessional is most welcome

Forgive me Father James

I know i shouldn't laugh but....

[James.]

When I was about 12 there was a girl in my year whose head rocked from side to side as she walked. With each step her head would go one way and then the other. We used to call her Tick Tock. She now lives about 4 miles from me and occasionally I see her in the street. 30 years on I still feel bad about my teasing of this girl and even now I consider apologising to her but this would really be for my benefit rather than hers as to do so would probably bring up some bad memories for her.

So your confessional is most welcome

Forgive me Father James

Oh... Shit. Sorry.

Err. Yes skinnydipper. I'm glad you have realised the childishness and ultimate cowardice involved in bullying.

You are forgiven young man. You are forgiven.

[skinnydipper]

Oh... Shit. Sorry.

Err. Yes skinnydipper. I'm glad you have realised the childishness and ultimate cowardice involved in bullying.

You are forgiven young man. You are forgiven.

In that case ..... DRINKS ALL ROUND

[Zingari]

on windy nights, we used to go out and tip reliant robins onto their sides ( they are very easy to lift over ) , and watch the owners looking amazed the next day thinking that the wind had done it .

for these sins i ask forgiveness of you lord and absolution of you father

will 2 hail marys and 2 hello dollys be sufficient penance for this ?

[jonno24]

I used to put dead mice thru our local post box on a regular basis.

now im older i cant even look at myself in the mirror without feeling the shame of what ive done

[Zingari]

I used to put dead mice thru our local post box on a regular basis.

now im older i cant even look at myself in the mirror without feeling the shame of what ive done

why ?

didn't you put a stamp on them ?

[Thracian]

When I was about 12 there was a girl in my year whose head rocked from side to side as she walked. With each step her head would go one way and then the other. We used to call her Tick Tock. She now lives about 4 miles from me and occasionally I see her in the street. 30 years on I still feel bad about my teasing of this girl and even now I consider apologising to her but this would really be for my benefit rather than hers as to do so would probably bring up some bad memories for her.

So your confessional is most welcome

Forgive me Father James

Yeah, apologising would go down a bomb.

[Thracian]

why ?

didn't you put a stamp on them ?

[Unabomber]

Blowing a massive amount of my student loan at Spearmint Rhinos the other week wasn't a great thing to do as I now can't afford rent.

[Thracian]

If I start confessing I'm gonna quickly lose my halo!

[JakeShingler]

Blowing a massive amount of my student loan at Spearmint Rhinos the other week wasn't a great thing to do as I now can't afford rent.

[Corky]

When I was about 12 there was a girl in my year whose head rocked from side to side as she walked. With each step her head would go one way and then the other. We used to call her Tick Tock. She now lives about 4 miles from me and occasionally I see her in the street. 30 years on I still feel bad about my teasing of this girl and even now I consider apologising to her but this would really be for my benefit rather than hers as to do so would probably bring up some bad memories for her.

So your confessional is most welcome

Forgive me Father James

Another classic from skinnydipper

[James.]

I would like to apologise for making Kokopops cry.

[James.]

Oh and all sins so far expressed are officially forgiven. Zingari, jonno, etc. You may now move on with your lives.

One rule of the confession box is that any ladies wishing to confess will be required to sit on Father James's lap in order for their sin to be forgiven. Sorry, but that's just the way it is.

[Zingari]

Oh and all sins so far expressed are officially forgiven. Zingari, jonno, etc. You may now move on with your lives.

One rule of the confession box is that any ladies wishing to confess will be required to sit on Father James's lap in order for their sin to be forgiven. Sorry, but that's just the way it is.

you're not a "real" priest are you ? you're a charlatan ,

it's a good job i didn't tell you about the ...........never mind

[Corky]

you're not a "real" priest are you ? you're a charlatan ,

it's a good job i didn't tell you about the ...........never mind

Zingo, you've been forgiven for all of your sins.

Amen.

[skinnydipper]

Oh and all sins so far expressed are officially forgiven. Zingari, jonno, etc. You may now move on with your lives.

One rule of the confession box is that any ladies wishing to confess will be required to sit on Father James's lap in order for their sin to be forgiven. Sorry, but that's just the way it is.

IMPOSTOR

Surely if you were a real priest you would insist on the boys sitting on your lap

[jonno24]

IMPOSTOR

Surely if you were a real priest you would insist on the boys sitting on your lap

my priest told me it would bring me closer to jesus

[GLC]

my priest told me it would bring me closer to jesus

it did bring me closer to jesus,

[Daggers]

When I said "for better or for worse" I fibbed about the 'better' bit.

[stez]

i once stole someone else's pottery from school, because mine broke during the firing, i still live with the guilt today