Guest Bilo Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 In the run-up to the World Cup and with England's prospects being an ever popular topic of conversation, two ubiquitous characters are beginning to come out of the woodwork. These two characters represent two different ends of the spectrum, can be found in more or less every pub but are insanely irritating. The first is the Ingerlund fan. Patriotic almost to the point of obsession, possibly with a small amount of xenophobia thrown in, this fan is convinced, utterly convinced that we will bring the cup home. Nothing wrong with that I hear you cry but try telling him it's not going to be easy. To him, every other team in the World Cup is shit so there are no threats. The Brazilians are only considered good because they're Brazilian, the Spanish are over-rated because of the Barcelona factor, the French are a bunch of cheating twats and the Germans will lose because they lost Two World Wars and One World Cup. Which by the way, is written on his baseball cap. Besides, talking about the strengths of other teams means you aren't a proper England fan, you should get behind England and not even think about the strengths of the other teams. He'll be drunk by 5.00 for a 7.30 kick-off and then the game starts with the USA. 15 minutes in and it's 0-0, your new found buddy not happy. We're shit and we know we are, we should be beating the Yanks 5-0 by now because they don't even play proper football and the referee is on their side. Just as he has been in every World Cup since 1966. And another thing about 1966, we'll win it again because he read in The Sun that the German manager's mum shat herself on the flight over to South Africa with the team, and the last time that happened was 1966. It is, as The Prodigy would say, an omen. Make sure you're absolutely nowhere this bloke in the event of a penalty shoot-out for obvious reasons. The man on the other side is The Pessimist. Usually aged 50 or other, he will always believe that his football knowledge knows no bounds and that everyone else in the pub is a no nothing moron. He is however just as useless as the Ingerlund fan because he is as blind to England's strengths as our other friend is to our weaknesses. Before a ball is even kicked, we are shit. We were very lucky to qualify and the only game that offered a true reflection of the action was the defeat to Ukraine, which he didn't watch but read about in the Mail. We haven't improved one iota since McClaren, and pointing out we put 9 in two games past the same Croat team that knocked us out of Euro 2008 will be met with the excuse of Croatia being even more shit, struggling with injuries or just being straight unlucky. Rooney wouldn't even get a goal in Spain he says, Gerrard is only any good because of the players around him (a popular put-down for The Pessimist regarding England's main players) and we're going to get found out. Not just found out but humiliated. For England could be drawn in a group with San Marino, the Isle of Man and the Dog & Duck Reserves and we'd still be going home with no points and no goals, we're that shit. As for the bookies odds, they're a joke. 7/1, he splutters over his bitter (an appropriate drink), add a couple of noughts and I still wouldn't be interested. Make sure you're stood nowhere this bloke if we make it to the business end of the tournament, he'll be not so secretly gutted we've made it this far. So which of this characters pisses you off the most? Thoughts please!
Zingari Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 the second one sounds a lot like me , so he's the most irritating
Fosse Boy Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 Both piss me off, but the Ingurlund fan more so, purely for the fact that these people only come out of the woodwork at tournaments involving England. You get pessimistic twats at City every week so you kind of expect them to be around at any arena in which football is played, but where do these Viking hat wearing, merched out to the max superfans come from? They only ever seem to be around at Wembley trips for their club (provided they're not a Big Four "supporting" disabled during the regular season) or when England are playing. I usually can't stand to be around negative people at football so ordinarily I'd choose the pessimist every time, but there's just something about the stupidity, plasticity and blind jingoism of Ingurmongs that just absolutely irks me. Reckon I'll end up watching most of the games at home or round mates' houses anyway.
FoxyPV Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 The Ingerlund fan - :shudder: - although it would be good to wind them up during the match.
AyewJoking Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 I've never met anyone like either of the two but the pub is no place for the pessimist.
Webbo Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 Can't stand the pessimists, the ones who laugh at the very thought of England winning. I'm not saying that we will definitely win the World Cup but we're in with a shout. There are always more losers than winners so the odds are on their side but even if we lose on penalties to Brazil in the semis after hitting the post 16 times they'll still turn round and say 'I told you they weren't good enough'.
Corky Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 I'd say the pessimist, there are some very over-optimistic people but I'd rather hear optimism and enthusiasm than negativity all the time.
marbelladave Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 How about the poor bastards (like me) who in football related matters are completely bi-polar?... Half the time I find myself looking at what could be a reasonable run to the semis where we should meet Brazil and in those circumstances, who knows what can happen? The match is at sea level, in the cool of the evening and in a one off game... Then again, I realise that there is a fairly decent chance of meeting Germany in the round of 16 and given our respective world cup records, I can see only one result. Penalties anyone?...
Sparky Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 Ive learnt not to be irritated by either, fair few pessimists in our local but ill fight my corner in certain discussions. Im a passionate Englishman who is desperate to see success in my lifetime, i totally understand that this is hope rather than expectation but there is nothing wrong with that, fook me im a Leicester fan so im used to it !
The Doctor Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 The ingerlund fan. Although both are exceedingly irritating, I have less patience for the delusional ramblings of a person who believes that the only reason his nation haven't won every world cup since the dawn of time is because they've been cheated by several refs than I do for some boring old fart who insists on blabbing on about how nation x won't win
dandannieldanok Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 Pessimistic arseholes that would thrive on our failure annoy me far more than patriotic people. I don't see how anyone can be overly patriotic?
dimmerchant Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 Don't buy this idea of an 'Ingerlund disabled' one bit. Looking down from a moral high-horse on people who are patriotic, enthusiastic and have belief in their country is ridiculous. Making out that 'they' are naive, ignorant and racist, bit self righteous, no?
Fosse Boy Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 Don't buy this idea of an 'Ingerlund disabled' one bit. Looking down from a moral high-horse on people who are patriotic, enthusiastic and have belief in their country is ridiculous. Making out that 'they' are naive, ignorant and racist, bit self righteous, no? Nothing against people being patriotic or enthusiastic if that's your bag. But there's a difference between being passionate about England and being a blindsided disabled who is completely oblivious to the merits of other nationalities, is decked out head to foot in tacky St. George gear and generally only shows up and vocalises their daft opinions whenever there's a major tournament on.
dimmerchant Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 Nothing against people being patriotic or enthusiastic if that's your bag. But there's a difference between being passionate about England and being a blindsided disabled who is completely oblivious to the merits of other nationalities, is decked out head to foot in tacky St. George gear and generally only shows up and vocalises their daft opinions whenever there's a major tournament on. Maybe they are fully aware of the other merits of other nationalities but choose to ignore them, or just prefer to exert more time focussing on promoting England. When it comes to rivalries, or just opponents, I doubt many go to Forest, Derby, Cov away to 'big up' the other teams size, support and ability. During the game you are focussing on your team, well I am anyway. As for their attire, I wouldn't personally wear that sort of stuff, but similar to the 'replica shirt wearers' thread a few months back, it shouldn't matter what they are wearing, they are there to support the same team as you, and their appearance shouldn't make them a 'disabled' (hate that word). And as for only showing up and vocalising their support during a major tournament, surely that is the only chance as an England fan you get to fully support your country?
Fosse Boy Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 Maybe they are fully aware of the other merits of other nationalities but choose to ignore them, or just prefer to exert more time focussing on promoting England. When it comes to rivalries, or just opponents, I doubt many go to Forest, Derby, Cov away to 'big up' the other teams size, support and ability. During the game you are focussing on your team, well I am anyway. As for their attire, I wouldn't personally wear that sort of stuff, but similar to the 'replica shirt wearers' thread a few months back, it shouldn't matter what they are wearing, they are there to support the same team as you, and their appearance shouldn't make them a 'disabled' (hate that word). And as for only showing up and vocalising their support during a major tournament, surely that is the only chance as an England fan you get to fully support your country? Yeah, but I'm not talking about ordinary, passionate England fans vocalising their support. I'm talking about the daft twats you find around that Bilo was referring to in his original post. There is a difference.
Fox92 Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 I hate the car flags. Now theres major finals approaching, you see people with these irritating and tacky things who probably know f**k all about football.
Mikey Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 The pessimist. Can't stand being next to people like that when I'm watching football.
Unknown Fox Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 The pessimist. Can't stand being next to people like that when I'm watching football. totally agree.
Ozwin Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 Great read first of all, Got to say I hate the utter pessimists, but as soon as England win they're on their feet cheering away like the rest of us.
Guest ttfn Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 The best point about the pessimist is that they'll claim to be right no matter where England finish, as long as they don't win. Obviously the odds are heavily stacked in their favour (in theory England have a 31 in 32 chance of NOT winning the world cup), and allows them to be as pompous and self-righteous as they choose when we inevitably get knocked out on penalties. I've stopped watching football in pubs now because of both of these sorts of people. Not got anything particular against them but when the football's on terrestrial, I'd rather not have to listen to other people's moaning and ignorance.
Samilktray Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 I love the World Cup fever in this Country at the minute. Love the fact everyones getting involved even those not that into football, just a great togetherness about the place right now.
Guest Bilo Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 In my opinion, the Ingerlund fan is irritating because they tend to unrealistic in their expectations and turn into utter arses when we lose but at least I can see what they get out of watching the game. They're going to watch the game with hope in their heart, expecting to enjoy the game and have a few drinks at the same time. Dare I say it, when you're half-cut they're even tolerable company, in spite of their over-the-top nature. The Pessimist though puzzles me. I don't see what they get out of the whole experience. They've already decided we're shit, they've already decided we're going to be frustrating to watch and that they'll find 101 things to complain loudly about so why go to the trouble of watching something that depresses them so much? All they'll get out of it is half the pub calling them a miserable cvnt. Or perhaps that's what they want, a bit of attention to divert them away from their sad, unimportant little lives where no-one notices them. Very strange people anyway. The Pessimist edges it for me purely for their ability to annoy and depress me. We could beat Brazil 3-0 in the semi playing some of the best football ever played by an England team, but being within earshot of The Pessimist after the game telling anyone who'll listen how lucky we were will still leave me with a sour taste in the mouth.
purpleronnie Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 Can't stand the pessimists, the ones who laugh at the very thought of England winning. I'm not saying that we will definitely win the World Cup but we're in with a shout. There are always more losers than winners so the odds are on their side but even if we lose on penalties to Brazil in the semis after hitting the post 16 times they'll still turn round and say 'I told you they weren't good enough'. They'd be right.
vjbapu Posted 5 June 2010 Posted 5 June 2010 The first one, hate people who change suddenly, and wont listen to any other opinion. The pessimist is the type of person i love to hate. Putting the person down with any sign of us doing well would be sooo enjoyable
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