Our system detected that your browser is blocking advertisements on our site. Please help support FoxesTalk by disabling any kind of ad blocker while browsing this site. Thank you.
Jump to content
Babylon

Funniest Joke at the fringe festival...

By Babylon, in General Chat

Top 10 Fringe jokes  

59 members have voted

  1. 1. What was the funniest joke

    • "I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" - Nick Helm
      7
    • "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels" - Tim Vine
      17
    • "People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works" - Hannibal Buress
      4
    • "Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought ... once you've hired the car..." - Tim Key
      3
    • "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess" - Matt Kirshen
      13
    • "My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards" - Sarah Millican
      1
    • I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people wou"ld say we were better than The Cure" - Alan Sharp
      11
    • "Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife" - Mark Watson
      3
    • "I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails" - Andrew Lawrence
      7
    • "My friend died doing what he loved ... heroin" - DeAnne Smith
      7

Recommended Posts

Babylon

Babylon

Posted
Posted

The actual winner was "I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" - Nick Helm. Which I thought was the worst!

James.

James.

Posted
Posted

I reckon last year's are funnier:

1) Tim Vine "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

2) David Gibson "I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone."

3) Emo Philips "I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them."

4) Jack Whitehall "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."

5) Gary Delaney "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog."

6) John Bishop "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day."

7) Bo Burnham "What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."

8) Gary Delaney "Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."

9) Robert White "For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty."

10) Gareth Richards "Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…"

Guest MattP

Guest MattP

Posted
Posted

That's the best they can come up with from a comedy festival :unsure:

Looks like someone has stolen a Liberal Democrat's jokebook.

Len Finsbury

Len Finsbury

Posted
Posted

I liked the Paul Daniels one..

"Is there a B&Q in Henley?"

"No, just an H, two Es, an N, an L and a Y"

Dave Spikey nicked this for his early shows. His went:

"Is there a B&Q in Wigan?"

W...I...G...A...N.... nah mate, you must be thinking of Blackburn"

Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted

Agreed 100%, James. About 2 out of 10 are NOT funny in your list; about 2 out of 10 ARE funny in the original list (I vote No.10, heroin, for a little bite)

Stand-up comedy in 2011 is the equivalent of Rubik's Cubes in the 1980s - a sociocultural phenomenon that is mystifying with hindsight. I put it down to conformism and insecurity in an era of fear. "It's the way I tell 'em!"

I reckon last year's are funnier:

1) Tim Vine "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

2) David Gibson "I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone."

3) Emo Philips "I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them."

4) Jack Whitehall "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."

5) Gary Delaney "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog."

6) John Bishop "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day."

7) Bo Burnham "What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."

8) Gary Delaney "Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."

9) Robert White "For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty."

10) Gareth Richards "Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…"

Rincewind

Rincewind

Posted
Posted

Phone hackers but it was close as none stood out. Chose it because it was topical. Last years were better and I would have trouble picking a winner for opposite reasons.

I suppose they would be better if heard within a routine.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...