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WhatsHisName

Have to been to an 'adult' shop

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Posted

Hell yes.  I have been in the worlds biggest dildo shop in San Francisco.  I have no idea why anyone would be embarrassed.

 

 

Quite so , i was in a shop full of massive dildos and no-one seemed to notice i was even there. 

Posted

I took a girl home a few weeks ago and she brought out a ****ing strap-on, honestly no word of a lie. I promptly left her flat.

You should have told her where to shove it.

Posted

I went to a couple in Amsterdam and saw a DVD for sale named Dog Suckers XII. There were pictures of women doing rather unladylike things to beloved family Rottweilers.

 

I wondered two things; first, why does this exist? Secondly, why is this the twelfth part of a serial?

 

I also saw one in Dubrovnik called Shit Bath; judging by the cover, it did exactly what it said on the tin. Some of it looked a bit like Ronseal as well.

 

To summarise, the Europeans love much more smut than we do.

Posted

you have not lived till you've been reamed ..

 

Is this a synonym for "rimmed"?

 

If so, I have not been rimmed and I still consider that I have lived.

 

And I don't have to avoid kissing them after...

Posted

I went to a couple in Amsterdam and saw a DVD for sale named Dog Suckers XII. There were pictures of women doing rather unladylike things to beloved family Rottweilers.

 

I wondered two things; first, why does this exist? Secondly, why is this the twelfth part of a serial?

 

 

I know what you mean, after the fifth the script and cinematography went seriously downhill.

Posted

I know what you mean, after the fifth the script and cinematography went seriously downhill.

 

lol

 

I just couldn't fathom it, what the hell do they do with that many? Doggy style will obviously be covered early doors, but are we talking different positions, breeds or doggy orgies?

 

I also saw a butt plug that frankly made me wince. It was like a traffic cone.

Guest MattP
Posted

I also saw a butt plug that frankly made me wince. It was like a traffic cone.

lol

I remember seeing one in Sydney that nearly made me cry. The ass master 2000 I think it was called.

Posted

I went to a couple in Amsterdam and saw a DVD for sale named Dog Suckers XII. There were pictures of women doing rather unladylike things to beloved family Rottweilers.

 

I wondered two things; first, why does this exist? Secondly, why is this the twelfth part of a serial?

 

I also saw one in Dubrovnik called Shit Bath; judging by the cover, it did exactly what it said on the tin. Some of it looked a bit like Ronseal as well.

 

To summarise, the Europeans love much more smut than we do.

 

After a day of drinking in Amsterdam, my friend and I decided it would be hilarious to see who could a). Find the grossest porn we could b). Hold the nerve to buy it, it was like a perverted version of Bargain Hunt. I went with a fairly tame bargain bin pregnant one but my friend went with a 79€ Shit Eating one. I've since wracked my brain to try to remember who suggested the challenge in the first place and whether it was him who was just trying to find an acceptable excuse to buy Shit Eating porn.

 

I stayed a good 20ft away from him going through customs though.

Guest MattP
Posted

did you use a mirror or are you really flexible?

lol

Guest MattP
Posted

After a day of drinking in Amsterdam, my friend and I decided it would be hilarious to see who could a). Find the grossest porn we could b). Hold the nerve to buy it, it was like a perverted version of Bargain Hunt. I went with a fairly tame bargain bin pregnant one but my friend went with a 79€ Shit Eating one. I've since wracked my brain to try to remember who suggested the challenge in the first place and whether it was him who was just trying to find an acceptable excuse to buy Shit Eating porn.

I stayed a good 20ft away from him going through customs though.

One of my mates got his bag searched coming back from Hamburg and they whipped out what must have been a 12 inch dildo.

Posted

One of my mates got his bag searched coming back from Hamburg and they whipped out what must have been a 12 inch dildo.

 

lol

 

That nearly happened to me on the way back from Amsterdam. I didn't realise that one of my mates had bought a butt plug, smeared it in lube so it looked like it had been used and put in my suitcase in the hope I'd get stopped coming through customs. I had to laugh when they told me at the next services, top bombing.

Posted

One of my mates got pulled by customs once as we all scurried through with bags laden with porn. We quickly hurried back to the car stashed our bags then waited at the arrivals gate to ridicule the filthy pervert.

There was also the time in Amsterdam when we had porn on constant loop in our hotel room. Much to a couple of my other mates disgust they had been put in a family room with no porn. When we checked out we never get charged for the porn but my mates in the family room did, it was hilarious watching the argument that ensued when after giving up being discreet she informed them it was for the adult movies on pay tv, a queue had formed by now as me and my mate told the pervert to pay up.

Posted

One of my mates got pulled by customs once as we all scurried through with bags laden with porn. We quickly hurried back to the car stashed our bags then waited at the arrivals gate to ridicule the filthy pervert.

There was also the time in Amsterdam when we had porn on constant loop in our hotel room. Much to a couple of my other mates disgust they had been put in a family room with no porn. When we checked out we never get charged for the porn but my mates in the family room did, it was hilarious watching the argument that ensued when after giving up being discreet she informed them it was for the adult movies on pay tv, a queue had formed by now as me and my mate told the pervert to pay up.

I remember a story that was on "They think it's all over" once. Sam Torrance the golfer is on tour and he's stopping in a hotel with a porno channel on the TV,Thinking of his  mates he sets up his camcorder to record the porno for the lads.

 

When he gets home he sets up the video for them all to see and while they're watching the video they can see the reflection on the TV of Sam Torrance wanking recorded on the camcorder.

Posted

Pissed up after Sheffield United away a few years back, wandering back into the city centre and come across one. Looking at dildos etc and the owner points at one of my mates and goes "Oi, mate, t'gay porn's over thuuuuuuur!"  lol

Posted

Not necessary an adult shop but on the day after I first met my girlfriend's mum, she took me and my girlfriend to Ann Summers.

 

My first time in the shop was for a laugh was with my girlfriend, her two brothers, her mum, her mum's fiancée and her aunt. It was surreal! 

Posted

I took a girl home a few weeks ago and she brought out a ****ing strap-on, honestly no word of a lie. I promptly left her flat.

That's always a hazard  with blow up dolls ! 

Posted

Not necessary an adult shop but on the day after I first met my girlfriend's mum, she took me and my girlfriend to Ann Summers.

 

My first time in the shop was for a laugh was with my girlfriend, her two brothers, her mum, her mum's fiancée and her aunt. It was surreal! 

That sounds like a test of some sort!  On the other hand, imagining either of my ex mother in laws with a dildo is something I would rather not do!

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