For a number of reasons, not least the MH of our eldest adopted daughter which has caused severe issues and conflicts over the years, I have come to be very stressed and anxious as Christmas approaches. I once quipped that the police have spent more Christmas days with us than with their own families because we have had to call them on many occasions over Christmas due to her erratic and often violent actions, including against herself.
Last year and again this year the relationship is at such a low that we didn't, and won't again, see her over Christmas. We feel sad that this is the case and that she's alone, but it's the safest for us. The situation really gets us down and causes tension.
Interesting to read @SpacedX post with regard to him being adopted and the relationship with his parents. We have often wondered about attachments with adopters and adoptees.
She's now 31 and over the years it has become clear that she has attachment issues and increasing signs of mental ill health and depression and has been sectioned 3 times, twice in secure MH units. The crisis usually being around Christmas and the birthdays of her own two children who both were adopted when they were infants. So her MH understandably declines significantly at this time but the knock on effect makes Christmas one of the most difficult occasions of the year for us.
I guess what I'm saying is that if you dislike Christmas it can be for a variety of reasons and there's no need to feel you should fake it and pretend it's a jolly time.
Of course people who don't enjoy Christmas will feel pressured into going along with it. I have learnt to accept that I can get very down and grumpy at Christmas and, over time, Mrs P has come to understand and no longer gets on my case to "join in".
Anyway. I hope it's the best festive period it can be for all you good, kind, frivolous, clever, whimsical, witty, insightful argumentative (on the matchday thread) FT peeps
