Depression

[filthyfox]

Oh....   I am also only 28.3km short of a 12 month distance record of 1000 miles (target end date 31/5).  Daily distance record now stands at 14.41km, set 1/5.

 

Yes...   i have walked 500 miles!!!!

And I've nearly walked 500 more!!!!

 

THIS IS A MASSIVE ACHEIVEMENT!!!!

 

**** YOU MENTAL ILLNESS!!!

Edited 11 May by filthyfox
Updated... i did well today!

[Libertine]

I've done something similar with a 40 Before 40 list (2030). Not actually finished making the list yet  but it's something to work towards and concentrate on.

[filthyfox]

1 minute ago, Libertine said:

I've done something similar with a 40 Before 40 list (2030). Not actually finished making the list yet  but it's something to work towards and concentrate on.

I literally only thought about it yesterday!

 

Get that list done!  Get started!!!  FEEL GREAT!

[Libertine]

8 minutes ago, filthyfox said:

I literally only thought about it yesterday!

 

Get that list done!  Get started!!!  FEEL GREAT!

Oh I've started! Ticked off some items and got others booked in, just struggling to think of other things currently (got 30), but plenty of time to do it. 

[Raj]

Might help some of you guys but Lee Jobber has started a mental health initiative called Modern Men Movement.

 

 

im not on socials except facebook(yes i am that old) but have a butchers as it might help.

 

Top bloke is Lee as you will all know.

 

 

 

[Samilktray]

Had a grandparent pass away completely out of the blue under strange circumstances last week. Sent me on a bit of a spiral this weekend, heads been all over the gaff trying to get my head round it. 

[Trav Le Bleu]

3 minutes ago, Samilktray said:

Had a grandparent pass away completely out of the blue under strange circumstances last week. Sent me on a bit of a spiral this weekend, heads been all over the gaff trying to get my head round it. 

Sorry to hear that.

 

Try not to think too much and what might have been done differently, because it's past, can't be changed and no amount of "what if" will do anything except drive you crazy.

 

But if you want to let vent, feel free to DM me.

[Trav Le Bleu]

1 hour ago, Raj said:

im not on socials except facebook(yes i am that old) but have a butchers as it might help.

To counteract your inability to keep up with modern digital media communications you have opened a meat shop, in the possibility it could make you feel better?

 

I'll have 32lbs of rump please!

[Raj]

18 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

To counteract your inability to keep up with modern digital media communications you have opened a meat shop, in the possibility it could make you feel better?

 

I'll have 32lbs of rump please!

Im actually Vegetarian!!!

[Trav Le Bleu]

2 hours ago, Raj said:

Im actually Vegetarian!!!

I know.

 

Talk about hypocrisy!

 

[filthyfox]

On 11/05/2026 at 08:56, filthyfox said:

Oh....   I am also only 28.3km short of a 12 month distance record of 1000 miles (target end date 31/5).  Daily distance record now stands at 14.41km, set 1/5.

 

Yes...   i have walked 500 miles!!!!

And I've nearly walked 500 more!!!!

 

THIS IS A MASSIVE ACHEIVEMENT!!!!

 

**** YOU MENTAL ILLNESS!!!

Well...   at 10:00 this morning, the target was met.

 

I am WELL HAPPY!!

 

Now time to start "Project 50".

[Trav Le Bleu]

19 hours ago, filthyfox said:

Well...   at 10:00 this morning, the target was met.

 

I am WELL HAPPY!!

 

Now time to start "Project 50".

Walk 50 miles?

[filthyfox]

1 hour ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Walk 50 miles?

That would be easy...   been there, got the medal (medalmad.com).

 

In 2023 I had walked 874 miles.

 

Project 50 is all about planning ahead tonbe the person i want to be before i am 50 in 2032...

 

Maybe it warrants its own thread, so I can update?  I dunno, what do you think?  I had a shit night sleep last night. 

Binge ate and nearly went out...

 

I SAID NEARLY

[Libertine]

Just now, filthyfox said:

That would be easy...   been there, got the medal (medalmad.com).

 

In 2023 I had walked 874 miles.

 

Project 50 is all about planning ahead tonbe the person i want to be before i am 50 in 2032...

 

Maybe it warrants its own thread, so I can update?  I dunno, what do you think?  I had a shit night sleep last night. 

Binge ate and nearly went out...

 

I SAID NEARLY

Make a blog or something and link your posts in this thread.

[Trav Le Bleu]

2 hours ago, filthyfox said:

That would be easy...   been there, got the medal (medalmad.com).

 

In 2023 I had walked 874 miles.

 

Project 50 is all about planning ahead tonbe the person i want to be before i am 50 in 2032...

 

Maybe it warrants its own thread, so I can update?  I dunno, what do you think?  I had a shit night sleep last night. 

Binge ate and nearly went out...

 

I SAID NEARLY

What @Libertine said

[bmt]

After a few years of being treated for a bipolar spectrum disorder, but still struggling with mood, depression, anxiety, and controlling drinking, I have had another assessment by the CMHT where I live. I have a history of erratic (somewhat strange) behaviour, very high levels of anxiety, depression, have had hallucinations etc before, and quite bad emotional dysregulation. Basically in my mid 30s and have struggled with the same things for 20+ years. Anyway, the new psychiatrists are unsure on the bipolar spectrum diagnosis (symptoms are very rapid cycling so not a typical diagnosis) because I drink too much for them to have a stable period to assess it on. However, they have diagnosed me with BPD, and anxiety and depression. I also have an ADHD diagnosis although don't really agree with it. The BPD diagnosis was a bit of a surprise, but does align quite strongly with my experience, particularly around relationships. Does anyone else have much experience, I feel like it is such a mentally tiring condition to have?

 

I lost my job at the end of last year and went to visit my family in NZ, who I hadn't had much time to spend with following some severe illness a few years ago, so thought it would be good to get my thoughts in order. However, I came home to a girlfriend who was severely ill and ended up in hospital for the best part of a month, and my sector is incredibly hard to get a job in currently (ESG in investments), particularly with the red flag of not being currently in work (and my last job wasn't that long lasting). I feel like all my previous roles (despite actually doing relatively well overall) have had difficult patches due to my unstable mental health, and so my network or ability to lean on people from before is not as strong as others are. I can't see how I am going to get a job, and my money is quickly running out; I am going to move back from London to my mum's next month if I can't get something decent before then to afford to live. My life has pretty much collapsed, I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago and am rushing into another relationship, but not sure how I can sustain that without a job.

 

I apply (bespoke CV and cover letter) for literally any job in the ballpark I can do, but don't really know what else to do. I would be happy to do pretty much anything, but anxiety makes it hard to get to that position.

 

I have referred myself to alcohol services in London but will be moving home, and it is really hard to get consistency with mental health treatment etc. I am waiting for a letter from the CMHT to confirm what the plan is, but I have been waiting over a week so had to chase up.

 

I cannot see how this all ends without me being homeless or worse - my self worth is absolutely in the ditch and I can't see how I am going to get some luck to get out of it.

[Lionator]

On 19/05/2026 at 13:14, bmt said:

After a few years of being treated for a bipolar spectrum disorder, but still struggling with mood, depression, anxiety, and controlling drinking, I have had another assessment by the CMHT where I live. I have a history of erratic (somewhat strange) behaviour, very high levels of anxiety, depression, have had hallucinations etc before, and quite bad emotional dysregulation. Basically in my mid 30s and have struggled with the same things for 20+ years. Anyway, the new psychiatrists are unsure on the bipolar spectrum diagnosis (symptoms are very rapid cycling so not a typical diagnosis) because I drink too much for them to have a stable period to assess it on. However, they have diagnosed me with BPD, and anxiety and depression. I also have an ADHD diagnosis although don't really agree with it. The BPD diagnosis was a bit of a surprise, but does align quite strongly with my experience, particularly around relationships. Does anyone else have much experience, I feel like it is such a mentally tiring condition to have?

 

I lost my job at the end of last year and went to visit my family in NZ, who I hadn't had much time to spend with following some severe illness a few years ago, so thought it would be good to get my thoughts in order. However, I came home to a girlfriend who was severely ill and ended up in hospital for the best part of a month, and my sector is incredibly hard to get a job in currently (ESG in investments), particularly with the red flag of not being currently in work (and my last job wasn't that long lasting). I feel like all my previous roles (despite actually doing relatively well overall) have had difficult patches due to my unstable mental health, and so my network or ability to lean on people from before is not as strong as others are. I can't see how I am going to get a job, and my money is quickly running out; I am going to move back from London to my mum's next month if I can't get something decent before then to afford to live. My life has pretty much collapsed, I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago and am rushing into another relationship, but not sure how I can sustain that without a job.

 

I apply (bespoke CV and cover letter) for literally any job in the ballpark I can do, but don't really know what else to do. I would be happy to do pretty much anything, but anxiety makes it hard to get to that position.

 

I have referred myself to alcohol services in London but will be moving home, and it is really hard to get consistency with mental health treatment etc. I am waiting for a letter from the CMHT to confirm what the plan is, but I have been waiting over a week so had to chase up.

 

I cannot see how this all ends without me being homeless or worse - my self worth is absolutely in the ditch and I can't see how I am going to get some luck to get out of it.

Hey mate, sorry to read you’re going through this. I’ve ended up on this thread at the minute as I’m also going through a very similar crisis (crippling anxiety, drinking all day, wanting to find ways to stop but services not giving me any support). Hope things are going well, please PM me and maybe we can do this together. 

[Lionator]

Also please I’m in the absolute pits at the moment so please send me some love, it helps 😂😂 the annoying thing is I have a path to a happy, healthy anxiety and alcohol free life but I just need a bit of help from services and nobody is giving it to me :(. You get to a point where you actively have to try and kill yourself before they’ll give you that 5% support that is often all you need 

[TheGoldenGod]

4 minutes ago, Lionator said:

Also please I’m in the absolute pits at the moment so please send me some love, it helps 😂😂 the annoying thing is I have a path to a happy, healthy anxiety and alcohol free life but I just need a bit of help from services and nobody is giving it to me :(. You get to a point where you actively have to try and kill yourself before they’ll give you that 5% support that is often all you need 

A real damning state of affairs if that's what it has to come to for people to take you seriously!!! Keep pushing forward pal, better days ahead I'm sure

[Lionator]

19 minutes ago, TheGoldenGod said:

A real damning state of affairs if that's what it has to come to for people to take you seriously!!! Keep pushing forward pal, better days ahead I'm sure

Thank you, just really struggling. Doing everything they say about ‘reaching out’ then just not getting anything back from services. You’ll tell someone over 111 that you’re really struggling but don’t want to kill yourself and they just give you the ‘computer says no’ treatment 

Edited 23 hours ago by Lionator

[TheGoldenGod]

25 minutes ago, Lionator said:

Thank you, just really struggling. Doing everything they say about ‘reaching out’ then just not getting anything back from services. You’ll tell someone over 111 that you’re really struggling but don’t want to kill yourself and they just give you the ‘computer says no’ treatment 

Well that's truly horrible to hear, unsure why they'd take that stance unless there was an influx of illegitimate calls but anyone that feels they have to reach out to a helpline should be given the benefit of the doubt and to be 'heard' at the very least especially in a society where we are still pushing for MEN especially to speak up! It takes a lot of courage pal so don't give up and hopefully you have people that can be an ear for you if nothing else but better yet give you the support you need! 

Edited 23 hours ago by TheGoldenGod

[urban.spaceman]

On 19/05/2026 at 13:14, bmt said:

After a few years of being treated for a bipolar spectrum disorder, but still struggling with mood, depression, anxiety, and controlling drinking, I have had another assessment by the CMHT where I live. I have a history of erratic (somewhat strange) behaviour, very high levels of anxiety, depression, have had hallucinations etc before, and quite bad emotional dysregulation. Basically in my mid 30s and have struggled with the same things for 20+ years. Anyway, the new psychiatrists are unsure on the bipolar spectrum diagnosis (symptoms are very rapid cycling so not a typical diagnosis) because I drink too much for them to have a stable period to assess it on. However, they have diagnosed me with BPD, and anxiety and depression. I also have an ADHD diagnosis although don't really agree with it. The BPD diagnosis was a bit of a surprise, but does align quite strongly with my experience, particularly around relationships. Does anyone else have much experience, I feel like it is such a mentally tiring condition to have?

 

I lost my job at the end of last year and went to visit my family in NZ, who I hadn't had much time to spend with following some severe illness a few years ago, so thought it would be good to get my thoughts in order. However, I came home to a girlfriend who was severely ill and ended up in hospital for the best part of a month, and my sector is incredibly hard to get a job in currently (ESG in investments), particularly with the red flag of not being currently in work (and my last job wasn't that long lasting). I feel like all my previous roles (despite actually doing relatively well overall) have had difficult patches due to my unstable mental health, and so my network or ability to lean on people from before is not as strong as others are. I can't see how I am going to get a job, and my money is quickly running out; I am going to move back from London to my mum's next month if I can't get something decent before then to afford to live. My life has pretty much collapsed, I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago and am rushing into another relationship, but not sure how I can sustain that without a job.

 

I apply (bespoke CV and cover letter) for literally any job in the ballpark I can do, but don't really know what else to do. I would be happy to do pretty much anything, but anxiety makes it hard to get to that position.

 

I have referred myself to alcohol services in London but will be moving home, and it is really hard to get consistency with mental health treatment etc. I am waiting for a letter from the CMHT to confirm what the plan is, but I have been waiting over a week so had to chase up.

 

I cannot see how this all ends without me being homeless or worse - my self worth is absolutely in the ditch and I can't see how I am going to get some luck to get out of it.

So sorry for your struggles mate. There’s a great thread for giving up alcohol on here with posts from others who can give you far better advice than me. Don’t want to do the cliche “if I can do it” line but honestly, you can absolutely change your relationship with booze. I’ve managed to get it firmly under control now, which would have been unthinkable preciously. With your employment situation - I don’t know if this helps but your BPD/ADHD diagnoses would qualify you for “disability confident” which means you can ask legally a future employer on the scheme for reasonable adjustments to make your workplace a bit less challenging. The jobs market has been very rough for a very long time but hopefully you can get a bit more help - the city and county council are running a new scheme called ‘Connect to Work’ for people with disabilities with a dedicated work coach helping you find and apply for jobs; maybe check with your local council to see if they’re offering something similar? All the best mate