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Pinkman

Depression

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You are far from alone fella:

 

http://www.foxestalk.co.uk/forums/topic/101070-would-you-ever-contemplate-suicide/

 

A lot of people struggle, if leaving uni is the right thing to do for your mental health then your parents would support you, talk to them first though before doing anything.

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I've suffered from the illness/disease (it eats away at you, making you feel hopeless) for the past year and a half. I've often contemplated about ending my life in the last few weeks. I go to university but can't say I particular enjoy it. I rarely turn up to university through anxiety and fear.

 

I haven't told my parents/friends. My friends see me in a completely different light. A cocky, light-hearted individual. 

 

A combination of guilt and comforting myself by listening to music has meant I haven't taken my life, however I feel completely and utterly miserable. I spoke to my course leader about it, and ended up breaking down half way through the meeting. I really do think leaving university would be the best thing to do, I think it would make me happier, but I'd feel like a failure towards my parents who have obviously paid lots of money for me to come here.

 

I'd also like to thank this current Leicester team/staff for giving me hope. What Ranieri, Mahrez, Kante, Vardy and co have achieved this season is unbelievable, and it gives me real hope to carry and battle on. Even if we don't win the league, this campaign has been amazing and made me almost forget the Taylor/Levein/Holloway years...

 

Anyway, I'm not sure what my intention was to post this on here, I just wanted to know if anyone has ever felt anything similar to me, and what they did to combat this.

 

as above, you're definitely not alone.

 

Have you thought about talking to someone neutral or someone who could best advise you (i.e. not your friends or family who may see the different side to you).

 

Something like Samaritans or MIND website.

 

There is always help out there. The fact you've come on to a public platform and been able to air your feelings is a step in the right direction; I see that as a good sign. 

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I've suffered from the illness/disease (it eats away at you, making you feel hopeless) for the past year and a half. I've often contemplated about ending my life in the last few weeks. I go to university but can't say I particular enjoy it. I rarely turn up to university through anxiety and fear.

 

I haven't told my parents/friends. My friends see me in a completely different light. A cocky, light-hearted individual. 

 

A combination of guilt and comforting myself by listening to music has meant I haven't taken my life, however I feel completely and utterly miserable. I spoke to my course leader about it, and ended up breaking down half way through the meeting. I really do think leaving university would be the best thing to do, I think it would make me happier, but I'd feel like a failure towards my parents who have obviously paid lots of money for me to come here.

 

I'd also like to thank this current Leicester team/staff for giving me hope. What Ranieri, Mahrez, Kante, Vardy and co have achieved this season is unbelievable, and it gives me real hope to carry and battle on. Even if we don't win the league, this campaign has been amazing and made me almost forget the Taylor/Levein/Holloway years...

 

Anyway, I'm not sure what my intention was to post this on here, I just wanted to know if anyone has ever felt anything similar to me, and what they did to combat this.

 

 

I'd try reading this forum less it tends to leave me in a suicidal state half the time, especially after a defeat.

 

 

On a serious note, Leaving Uni is no big thing, certainly not worth getting depression over. But I'd get yourself down to your GP if things are as bad as you describe, there is so much help out there all you have to do is ask for it.

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as above, you're definitely not alone.

 

Have you thought about talking to someone neutral or someone who could best advise you (i.e. not your friends or family who may see the different side to you).

 

Something like Samaritans or MIND website.

 

There is always help out there. The fact you've come on to a public platform and been able to air your feelings is a step in the right direction; I see that as a good sign. 

 

Yep I'll definitely consider that as an option. Again, thank you for the advice.

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I'd try reading this forum less it tends to leave me in a suicidal state half the time, especially after a defeat.

 

 

On a serious note, Leaving Uni is no big thing, certainly not worth getting depression over. But I'd get yourself down to your GP if things are as bad as you describe, there is so much help out there all you have to do is ask for it.

 

Yeah, can't lie I was ****ing gutted on Sunday, on similar level as Kermorgant/Deeney moments. 

 

I will do, cheers.

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Hardest thing you'll ever do when you're depressed is stepping in to your GPs office and telling them.

It's also the most important, most valuable and most relieving.

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I have suffered before some days I am still very emotional and in my teen years did try to end my life on more than one occasion.

 I have taken first step and asked see someone to deal with things from my past. You are not alone and people will be there for you. It has taken me over 20 years to ask to speak to someone and is not an easy step to take my advice is do it sooner rather than later I wish I had x 

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Hardest thing you'll ever do when you're depressed is stepping in to your GPs office and telling them.

It's also the most important, most valuable and most relieving.

 

It's great when you build up to that and they tell you to look at a website and let you know about a stress workshop they have at the clinic in 2 months time.

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It's great when you build up to that and they tell you to look at a website and let you know about a stress workshop they have at the clinic in 2 months time.

I did think of adding that caveat, but I didn't want to put the OP off.

Yes, unfortunately it is reliant on having a competent GP.

At my absolute lowest, in the midst of the episode that saw me drop out of uni, my dad dragged me off to see my then local GP who told me I wasn't depressed I was just "a bit young and angsty."

I immediately got worse and descended to self harm.

The flip side of that is that I was in serious danger of my biggest relapse since then, about four years ago. After spending a night (literally a whole night) staring at a serrated kitchen knife I (still, actually) keep in my bedside draw I had a moment of clarity the next moment and went to my new local GP on Westcotes drive.

I've been up and down since, on and off medication, but never that low. I can't stress enough how having someone just say "yes, something is wrong, you're not SUPPOSED to feel like this" made a difference.

Sounds ridiculous, obvious even, but there you go.

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I did think of adding that caveat, but I didn't want to put the OP off.

Yes, unfortunately it is reliant on having a competent GP.

At my absolute lowest, in the midst of the episode that saw me drop out of uni, my dad dragged me off to see my then local GP who told me I wasn't depressed I was just "a bit young and angsty."

I immediately got worse and descended to self harm.

The flip side of that is that I was in serious danger of my biggest relapse since then, about four years ago. After spending a night (literally a whole night) staring at a serrated kitchen knife I (still, actually) keep in my bedside draw I had a moment of clarity the next moment and went to my new local GP on Westcotes drive.

I've been up and down since, on and off medication, but never that low. I can't stress enough how having someone just say "yes, something is wrong, you're not SUPPOSED to feel like this" made a difference.

Sounds ridiculous, obvious even, but there you go.

Why do you keep the knife still?

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Why do you keep the knife still?

I'm not really sure, habit more than anything else now I think. I can't make it sound any less absurd.

This will make the people I was trying to tell Narborough Road isn't a shithole laugh but a few years ago someone broke in to our house while we were asleep and stole some shit. I've never slept without since.

I don't even live there anymore, I live in a flat with a security door entry system and my own front door (a ****ing heavy triple locked fire door) with peephole.

The knife is still there. I dunno.

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I did think of adding that caveat, but I didn't want to put the OP off.

Yes, unfortunately it is reliant on having a competent GP.

At my absolute lowest, in the midst of the episode that saw me drop out of uni, my dad dragged me off to see my then local GP who told me I wasn't depressed I was just "a bit young and angsty."

I immediately got worse and descended to self harm.

The flip side of that is that I was in serious danger of my biggest relapse since then, about four years ago. After spending a night (literally a whole night) staring at a serrated kitchen knife I (still, actually) keep in my bedside draw I had a moment of clarity the next moment and went to my new local GP on Westcotes drive.

I've been up and down since, on and off medication, but never that low. I can't stress enough how having someone just say "yes, something is wrong, you're not SUPPOSED to feel like this" made a difference.

Sounds ridiculous, obvious even, but there you go.

 

I think that last bit is key. I felt so relieved when I googled my medication and found forums full of people experiencing depression and anxiety as side effects as well. Can't believe I didn't notice sooner.

 

My (now) girlfriend helped me through it, was always really supportive even if I didn't fully admit it was depression, I just told her how I was feeling. I can't recommend telling someone you trust enough, it can really help.

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It's great when you build up to that and they tell you to look at a website and let you know about a stress workshop they have at the clinic in 2 months time.

This

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Hardest thing you'll ever do when you're depressed is stepping in to your GPs office and telling them.

It's also the most important, most valuable and most relieving.

this...all the time this. hardest thing in the world and if you dont get help too quick you end up with social anxiety like myself. its bloody horrible and i spend every day thinking im going to get sacked or something just as stupid. 

have people around you who understand. if you dont think your family will understand then tell them some other way, but tell them. talk to anyone you can who you think you can relate to. hell if need be rant it on here who will care? (inb4 @@DB11 edits this :P )    

just remember this, you wont be the last and you sure aint the first to suffer from it and there is always help at hand, you just got to admit it and take the first step. 

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I've suffered from the illness/disease (it eats away at you, making you feel hopeless) for the past year and a half. I've often contemplated about ending my life in the last few weeks. I go to university but can't say I particular enjoy it. I rarely turn up to university through anxiety and fear.

 

I haven't told my parents/friends. My friends see me in a completely different light. A cocky, light-hearted individual. 

 

A combination of guilt and comforting myself by listening to music has meant I haven't taken my life, however I feel completely and utterly miserable. I spoke to my course leader about it, and ended up breaking down half way through the meeting. I really do think leaving university would be the best thing to do, I think it would make me happier, but I'd feel like a failure towards my parents who have obviously paid lots of money for me to come here.

 

I'd also like to thank this current Leicester team/staff for giving me hope. What Ranieri, Mahrez, Kante, Vardy and co have achieved this season is unbelievable, and it gives me real hope to carry and battle on. Even if we don't win the league, this campaign has been amazing and made me almost forget the Taylor/Levein/Holloway years...

 

Anyway, I'm not sure what my intention was to post this on here, I just wanted to know if anyone has ever felt anything similar to me, and what they did to combat this.

 

 

 

Hang in there, matey. You are certainly not alone.

 

 

 

Telling your parents would be a big help. Just like you have written it  down to us, why don't you give it a go at writing as much as you can down in as much detail and then when you go tell your parents and talk to them about it, you can give them that stuff to read after the chat and i Promise you,  you would not regret it...

 

 

 

Not everyone understands what depression is, but that doesn't mean they cant be understanding . There's a difference.

 

 

 

 

Why not try something similar to your friends. Be selective to who, but send an email to them all with the same stuff. You might be surprised how caring they will be. You might even find that another friend ( who looks happy and cocky) is struggling with the same thing. If they make fun of you at all ( which i highly doubt) then they are clearly not the friends you thought they were, are they?

 

 

Either way, we are here for you and you'd be surprised, maybe already, just how many people have been through the same sort of stuff.... you are definitely not alone...

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Little update. 

 

Been to see a mental health professional and now on anti-depressant Citalopram. 

 

Have to go back and report progress in 3 weeks time. Likely to be on it for 6 months+

 

Feel better for having made this step.

 

Lets see where it goes.

 

 

 

Pretty sure @@shanetko Won't mind me tagging him in here... It CAN be done, Pinkman!!

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Pinkman..go and see your GP. I suffer with anxiety, citalopram in a low dose 10mg has made a massive difference to me too. I can tell you now that your not alone, far from it, good luck.

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I've never suffered from depression but a couple of my friends have. They said that they felt worst when they were alone and would overthink thinks to the point where they'd end up hating themselves and like you contemplating suicide. They also said they felt better just being with their mates, and doing things on a regular basis, actively engaging with their mates. Just going to play football, going for a meal or to the pub once a week helped them, and as well it gave them something to look forward to. Speaking often helps, maybe talking to your friends and parents about it would relieve some pressure off you, sort of you're not hiding anything and they'll help you battle this. Everybody copes differently it's just identifying what would make you happier and taking steps to fulfill that, if you end up leaving uni it's not the end of the world and it's a choice you've had to make to help your health

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On a lighter note I've been staring at your picture thinking I know him ! ...    I thought you had put your own picture on ...   the penny dropped about 5 minutes ago !!!    Doh ...   what a prawn.  Breaking Bad was the best series me and Mrs CF have seen for many a year.

 

I've never suffered from depression so don't really feel qualified to comment but all I can say is don't worry about leaving University if it isn't right for you ...   I got booted out and never looked back.   Try and find a focus in life ..   something to really get your teeth into.  The Doctor advice from people on here seems to make sense but the best person to help you is yourself.   Try and be positive, always remember there are people out there at lot worse off than you ....   perhaps you could try and help them.

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Richard Branson never went to univserity...

 

 

 

Edit: neither did Alan Sugar, Phillip green, Roman Abramovich


Edited by MPH

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On a lighter note I've been staring at your picture thinking I know him ! ...    I thought you had put your own picture on ...   the penny dropped about 5 minutes ago !!!    Doh ...   what a prawn.  Breaking Bad was the best series me and Mrs CF have seen for many a year.

 

I've never suffered from depression so don't really feel qualified to comment but all I can say is don't worry about leaving University if it isn't right for you ...   I got booted out and never looked back.   Try and find a focus in life ..   something to really get your teeth into.  The Doctor advice from people on here seems to make sense but the best person to help you is yourself.   Try and be positive, always remember there are people out there at lot worse off than you ....   perhaps you could try and help them.

 

Another thing to know is you will get a lot of comments like this.  It is well meaning, but it is bullshit.  People wouldn't say that to someone with cancer, and depression and other mental illness is just as much a medical problem.  No offence Countryfox, but you should have stopped at don't feel qualified to comment.

 

Talk about it OP, and keep talking, if your GP isn't any good, find a local support group, talk to your friends and family, some of them wont get it, but the ones that do will help a huge amount.

 

Mainly though, stick with us, imagine what this city team can do with another year playing together!!

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I've suffered from the illness/disease (it eats away at you, making you feel hopeless) for the past year and a half. I've often contemplated about ending my life in the last few weeks. I go to university but can't say I particular enjoy it. I rarely turn up to university through anxiety and fear.

 

I haven't told my parents/friends. My friends see me in a completely different light. A cocky, light-hearted individual. 

 

A combination of guilt and comforting myself by listening to music has meant I haven't taken my life, however I feel completely and utterly miserable. I spoke to my course leader about it, and ended up breaking down half way through the meeting. I really do think leaving university would be the best thing to do, I think it would make me happier, but I'd feel like a failure towards my parents who have obviously paid lots of money for me to come here.

 

I'd also like to thank this current Leicester team/staff for giving me hope. What Ranieri, Mahrez, Kante, Vardy and co have achieved this season is unbelievable, and it gives me real hope to carry and battle on. Even if we don't win the league, this campaign has been amazing and made me almost forget the Taylor/Levein/Holloway years...

 

Anyway, I'm not sure what my intention was to post this on here, I just wanted to know if anyone has ever felt anything similar to me, and what they did to combat this.

Whilst your in uni, remember most have mental health and wellbeing teams who are usually much more responsive and easier to access than the GP in the first instance.

In my experience getting over the stigma of talking about how I was feeling was the biggest hurdle.

Withdrawing from uni can have implications from a funding point of view too, it's my line of work so if you want to DM me I'm happy to go through the basics. Not that money should inform your decision, but it's good to know the system, be prepared and no how to get the most support too.

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