Disillusioned Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 Jocks are to football like snow is to trains: there's the right kind and the WRONG kind. Alex Ferguson is the right kind of Jock. He's fiery and he won't drink anyone's wee wee without getting in a bit of retaliation. Strachan too, in his own bitter and twisted way is an excellent jock. OK he's not from Glasgow (which is really Irish) but he's small, pasty faced and has truly vile ginger hair. You can just about make out his shoulder underneath that chip. Craig Levein is most definitely the WRONG kind of Jock. Honest as the day is long, no inferiority complex, always handing back the matchday crockery unsmashed. He is a member of that species heading towards extinction he is...a Scottish GENTLEMAN. Garry Mac is another wrong kind of Jock. He is quiet. He is considerate. And he's dull. He'll have us thanking him sincerely for getting us relegated. If you lot really want your Jock I suggest that you trawl Barlinnie or Peterhead prisons. If you don't get any joy there you could go to Hereford and check out the SAS (lots of murderous Jock bastards there waiting to 'chib' pansy footballers). If travelling by train watch out for the wrong kind of snow. You'll know it when you see it - you won't be going anywhere fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BartonFox Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 F U C K OFF ya tool Hopefully you won't wake up in the morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disillusioned Posted 4 January 2006 Author Share Posted 4 January 2006 F U C K OFF ya tool Hopefully you won't wake up in the morning Barton, You obviously like to dish it out but ain't so keen to take it, have absolutely no sense of humour and have arrived home late with a skinful. You are the RIGHT kind of Jock. So get on down to the WS before you wet your bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordan Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 Jocks are to football like snow is to trains: there's the right kind and the WRONG kind. "Snow is to trains?" What the f**k is that supposed to mean? I stopped reading after that sentence. Is there a better analogy out there, and can a mod please edit the first post to include it? Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disillusioned Posted 4 January 2006 Author Share Posted 4 January 2006 "Snow is to trains?" What the f**k is that supposed to mean? I stopped reading after that sentence. Is there a better analogy out there, and can a mod please edit the first post to include it? Thanks. Tiresome colonial. The analogy SHOULD be understood by most Brits (ie everyone in the UK apart from the posters on this board who are a sub-species of Brit) and the odd Anglophile Yank (who want to drink warm beer in a real pub and learn Cockney Rhyming Slang). Some years ago, when our railways were under public ownsership and were known as British Rail we had a long cold winter (one day when the thermometer didn't climb above 5C). Mysteriously, trains all over the country gradually ground to a halt as they were buffeted this way and t'other by strong winds that also carried snowflakes into the wheels of the locomotives. A British Rail PR tried to explain to the BBC that the rail network came to a standstill as a result of 'the WRONG kind of snow.' This ill considered statement has now passed into legend. Except in the US of course where you have your own legends. Like Lee Harvery Oswald, Zirhan, Zirhan, Mark Chapman and John Hinckley Jnr all acted alone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Doyle Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 ****Whats Snow?**** On the Commonwealth! 31oc today! MadMick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 You're enjoying this, aren't you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finnegan Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 The wrong kind of jock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon the Hat Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 ****Whats Snow?**** On the Commonwealth! 31oc today! MadMick Don't depress me... This time last year I had just moved back to London after a year in Perth.. (Applecross) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manwell Pablo Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 Jocks are to football like snow is to trains: there's the right kind and the WRONG kind. Alex Ferguson is the right kind of Jock. He's fiery and he won't drink anyone's wee wee without getting in a bit of retaliation. Strachan too, in his own bitter and twisted way is an excellent jock. OK he's not from Glasgow (which is really Irish) but he's small, pasty faced and has truly vile ginger hair. You can just about make out his shoulder underneath that chip. Craig Levein is most definitely the WRONG kind of Jock. Honest as the day is long, no inferiority complex, always handing back the matchday crockery unsmashed. He is a member of that species heading towards extinction he is...a Scottish GENTLEMAN. Garry Mac is another wrong kind of Jock. He is quiet. He is considerate. And he's dull. He'll have us thanking him sincerely for getting us relegated. If you lot really want your Jock I suggest that you trawl Barlinnie or Peterhead prisons. If you don't get any joy there you could go to Hereford and check out the SAS (lots of murderous Jock bastards there waiting to 'chib' pansy footballers). If travelling by train watch out for the wrong kind of snow. You'll know it when you see it - you won't be going anywhere fast. Who is this guy? he sounds like Thrac after 6 Spliffs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ric Flair Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 Who is this guy? he sounds like Thrac after 6 Spliffs. It's Chandler. He must have been banned so has come back as this chap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimp Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 Who is this guy? he sounds like Thrac after 6 Spliffs. He used to post on these forums under the name of 'Chandler'. He was/is a die hard Micky Adams fan-boy, had a tendency to troll the forums and doesn't seem able to respond to anyones posts without including some form of personal abuse in his reply. He believes himself to be one of the intelligentsia and consequently treats everyone, and their opinions, as being below him. In reality he just comes across as an eloquent bully, which is a pity as recently, when he's managed to restrain himself, he has posted some good stuff to these forums. Ignore him or counter his argument, just don't feed the troll-ish side to his nature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manwell Pablo Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 It's Chandler. He must have been banned so has come back as this chap. Well ban him again then. For making the worst analogy I have seen in years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimp Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 Well ban him again then. For making the worst analogy I have seen in years. I dunno, I've seen much much worse analogies used on these forums... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenzied Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 It's Chandler. He must have been banned so has come back as this chap. Exactly what I was thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manwell Pablo Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 I dunno, I've seen much much worse analogies used on these forums... I dunno mate Jocks are like snow. It's pretty shocking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manwell Pablo Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 I dunno mate Jocks are like snow. It's pretty shocking. Espically when u consider snow is never a good thing for a train. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 It's Chandler. He must have been banned so has come back as this chap. Shh...you can't say things like that, or you'll get PMed too!! BTW, still waiting for the thanks/apology Dis/Chand..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The People's Hero Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 I dunno, I've seen much much worse analogies used on these forums... Agreed. Mine certainly rank among the best though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo_G Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 Jocks are to football like snow is to trains: there's the right kind and the WRONG kind. Alex Ferguson is the right kind of Jock. He's fiery and he won't drink anyone's wee wee without getting in a bit of retaliation. Strachan too, in his own bitter and twisted way is an excellent jock. OK he's not from Glasgow (which is really Irish) but he's small, pasty faced and has truly vile ginger hair. You can just about make out his shoulder underneath that chip. Craig Levein is most definitely the WRONG kind of Jock. Honest as the day is long, no inferiority complex, always handing back the matchday crockery unsmashed. He is a member of that species heading towards extinction he is...a Scottish GENTLEMAN. Garry Mac is another wrong kind of Jock. He is quiet. He is considerate. And he's dull. He'll have us thanking him sincerely for getting us relegated. If you lot really want your Jock I suggest that you trawl Barlinnie or Peterhead prisons. If you don't get any joy there you could go to Hereford and check out the SAS (lots of murderous Jock bastards there waiting to 'chib' pansy footballers). If travelling by train watch out for the wrong kind of snow. You'll know it when you see it - you won't be going anywhere fast. You my friend are a f.ud! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferry jambo Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 You my friend are a f.ud! I share those sentiments heres a little sort of related joke! one day a young english boy is learning about scotland at school. that evening he goes home wearing a scotland top and walks into his living room. he sees his sister and advises her that he is now scottish. his sister slaps him hard and tells him to go and tell his mother. the boy walks into the kitchen and tells his mother that he is now scottish. the mother smacks him with a frying pan and tells him to go and speak to his father. the little boy then tells his father he plans to be scottish- the father kicks the living shit out of him and tells him to get in the car. the father then takes the boy for a wee drive and goes " so son what have you learned today ?" the boy replies "all the english are wankers" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adam Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 I just dont no how people can take the piss out of the English when they come from scotland! oh dear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferry jambo Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 I just dont no how people can take the piss out of the English when they come from scotland! oh dear. its not hard, just wait til june, you have already crowned yourself world cup winners so imagine how much the scots, welsh and irish will love it when you get humped out again at the quarter finals Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adam Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 its not hard, just wait til june, you have already crowned yourself world cup winners so imagine how much the scots, welsh and irish will love it when you get humped out again at the quarter finals well lets put it this way... we have a slight better chance at winning the world cup then Scottland, wales and the irish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strokes Posted 4 January 2006 Share Posted 4 January 2006 its not hard, just wait til june, you have already crowned yourself world cup winners so imagine how much the scots, welsh and irish will love it when you get humped out again at the quarter finals There's an old saying ' you've got to be in it to win it' you my friend are not even in it. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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