The joke thread

[Wherethefoxhat?]

Chinese girl who smashed the world record by 10 seconds says she was delighted .

Chi Ting Twat says she even surprised herself !!

[TWITTER]

After hearing the BBC were making a documentary, I sent off a photo of the wife. They sent it back. Apparently the show is called The Big Fact hunt!

[Nick]

China has really impressed me in these Olympics.

They use the same person for every event !

The head of the Somali Olympic squad has apologised on behalf of their team after realising that shooting & sailing were two separate events !

Chinese girl who smashed the world record by 10 seconds says she was delighted .

Chi Ting Twat says she even surprised herself !!

Yo Mamma's so racist she wouldn't even walk through a black door.

[Zingari]

After hearing the BBC were making a documentary, I sent off a photo of the wife. They sent it back. Apparently the show is called The Big Fact hunt!

[Tielemans63]

The last person to question my masculinity got a face-full of piping hot lavender tea.

[Guest MattP]

In recognition of Phillips Idowus efforts in the Olympic games, officials in his hometown have painted a postbox brown.

[Lamby]

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

[Guest Bilo]

I was called in to school to see the teacher today.

"We're a bit concerned about Lucy, Mr Carter as she seems disturbed about something. She spends a lot of time in the girls toilets and refuses to get changed for PE."

"That is worrying." I agreed, scratching my chin. "When she leaves for school she's called Michael."

[Tielemans63]

What's a porn star's favourite drink?

7 Up in cider    

Edited 17 August 2012 by Paddy Akinbiyi

[Bob Weasel Fox]

ive just finished competing at the Olympics in the blinfolded masturbation section

fook knows where i came

[Trav Le Bleu]

People are concerned about childrens comics going out of publication, but I think that's just dandy.

[Captain...]

People are concerned about childrens comics going out of publication, but I think that's just dandy.

we've Bean over this, puns aren't funny.

Edited 21 August 2012 by Captain Shrapnel

[Trav Le Bleu]

we've Bean over this, puns aren't funny.

Why did you have to Bee Zer one to tell me?

[glenny_fox]

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

I don't know why, but that really made me laugh

[Webbo]

Why did you have to Bee Zer one to tell me?

That was the Topper.

[MikeyT]

After hearing the BBC were making a documentary, I sent off a photo of the wife. They sent it back. Apparently the show is called The Big Fact hunt!

Haha

[Guest]

Is Dwarf Throwing a paralympic sport?

[MooseBreath]

Is Dwarf Throwing a paralympic sport?

That's just disgusting and offensive. Logged and sent to the FBI.

[Trav Le Bleu]

"My Wife is going on holiday to the Caribbean."

"Jamiaca?"

"Yes, I did."

[MooseBreath]

"ah, so that explains the mixed race baby"

[davieG]

"My Wife is going on holiday to the Caribbean."

"Jamiaca?"

"Yes, I did."

Blimey I think I got that joke from a cracker I pulled in Christmas 1968

[Trav Le Bleu]

Blimey I think I got that joke from a cracker I pulled in Christmas 1968

The traditional joke punchline is "No, she went of her own accord."

It's a twist of an old joke... but hey, I thought it was funny. It's a bit like...

There's two sausages in a frying pan and one says to the other, "Hot in here, isn't it?" and the other one replies, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! A TALKING SAUSAGE!"

[Guest]

Blimey I think I got that joke from a cracker I pulled in Christmas 1968

And that was the last pull DavieG ever did.

[davieG]

And that was the last pull DavieG ever did.

Yes I married her

[Wycombe Fox]

Two cannibals eating a clown.

One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"