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Kirky

Man Utd after Ricky Sappleton

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Some facts about our Ricky:

1. Ricky Sappleton lost his virginity before his dad did.

2. Ricky Sappleton sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled footballing ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Ricky kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

3. Ricky Sappleton does not consider it sex if the woman survives.

4. Ricky Sappleton does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

5. Ricky Sappleton eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and shits them out transformed into a robot.

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Some facts about our Ricky:

1. Ricky Sappleton lost his virginity before his dad did.

2. Ricky Sappleton sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled footballing ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Ricky kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

3. Ricky Sappleton does not consider it sex if the woman survives.

4. Ricky Sappleton does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

5. Ricky Sappleton eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and shits them out transformed into a robot.

When Ricky Sappleton does push ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down.

Ricky Sappleton doesn't sleep, he waits.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Ricky Sappleton allows to live.

Ricky Sappleton doesn't read books. He stares them up and down until they give him the answers he wants.

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Crop circles are Ricky Sappleton's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Ricky Sappleton out. It failed miserably.

Contrary to popular belief, Ricky Sappleton, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Ricky Sappleton can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

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Ricky Sappleton's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

If you rearrange the letters in Ricky Sappleton, he'll fucking break you.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Ricky Sappleton can piss his name into concrete.

There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Ricky Sappleton is going to walk.

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Ricky Sappleton once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Ricky Sappleton beat a wall at tennis. A fucking WALL.

Ricky Sappleton was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

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If you spell Ricky Sappleton in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

:laugh:

When ricky Sappleton was born, every joke in existance had to be re-written, and a special account on foxestalk called 'admin' was created in expenctancy that he would one day grace this forum :unsure:

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