Manwell Pablo Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 I remember once taking my mum's cat to the vet as he was refusing to go out. The vet said he had been shagged. Not only that, but it must have been by more than one cat, as they would have had to have pinned him down by the tail. I blame the dirty gay raping tabbies from next door. Fantastic.
LeeCovFox Posted 5 February 2008 Author Posted 5 February 2008 Fantastic. I pissed myself. This was a couple of years ago. He still won't go out.
Manwell Pablo Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 I pissed myself. This was a couple of years ago. He still won't go out. Sorry, this is actually true??? lol Even better.
Daggers Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 I blame the dirty gay raping tabbies from next door. They wouldn't be foreign by any chance?
LeeCovFox Posted 5 February 2008 Author Posted 5 February 2008 Sorry, this is actually true??? lol Even better. Indeed it is true. He is a black cat, and personally I think the tabbies are racist. They used to run into my mum's house and pinch his food from time to time. But buggering him is quite a step up from theft. Maybe he disturbed them?
Manwell Pablo Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 Indeed it is true. He is a black cat, and personally I think the tabbies are racist. They used to run into my mum's house and pinch his food from time to time. But buggering him is quite a step up from theft. Maybe he disturbed them? Stop it, my boss is trying to work out what keep snickering at.
Daggers Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 Indeed it is true. He is a black cat, and personally I think the tabbies are racist. They used to run into my mum's house and pinch his food from time to time. But buggering him is quite a step up from theft. Maybe he disturbed them?
LeeCovFox Posted 5 February 2008 Author Posted 5 February 2008 I've always wondered whether or not they took turns, or whether one of them was the Ronnie to the Reggie in this feline crime partnership. The thing is, I will never know, because you can't really ask a cat. The subject was never broached with their owners. But how can you ask somebody that about their pet? How would you start that conversation?
Steven Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 Really, if it is a lie, it's hardly crap - it has the makings of being a really good one unless they can prove he killed her.A crap lie would have been something like "I had nothing to do with those signings it was all Martin Allen!" Anyone in mind?
Alexikokopops Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 This is probably my favourite thread of all time.
lookwhaticando Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 A colleague one day called another colleague to say they were running 20 minutes late. Twenty minutes later, the colleague then called the manager to say they weren't coming in because there had been a death in a friend's family. It wasn't the first time he failed to show up for work... it was definitely his last, though, he got fired yesterday.
Daggers Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 A colleague one day called another colleague to say they were running 20 minutes late.Twenty minutes later, the colleague then called the manager to say they weren't coming in because there had been a death in a friend's family. It wasn't the first time he failed to show up for work... it was definitely his last, though, he got fired yesterday. That seems a bit rough to be fair - If I was running late and one of my family died then I'd probably blow off work just so's I could get round there to have sex with them before they went cold. If I lost a job because of it I'd probably want a decent severance package.
Master Fox Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 That seems a bit rough to be fair - If I was running late and one of my family died then I'd probably blow off work just so's I could get round there to have sex with them before they went cold.If I lost a job because of it I'd probably want a decent severance package. :laugh: :laugh:
hairy Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 But the neighbour found her body when they investigated where the screams where coming from. Assuming this was soon after hearing the screaming you can only ascertain one thing.He was very quick fulfilling his desire (which in my case is impossible when drunk)
Daggers Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 But the neighbour found her body when they investigated where the screams where coming from. Assuming this was soon after hearing the screaming you can only ascertain one thing.He was very quick fulfilling his desire (which in my case is impossible when drunk) Perhaps the screams were out of outrage because he came to quickly...thus provoking his rage?
Webbo Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 It's an easy mistake to make really. When I'm in the throws of rampant love making I often mistake my wife for dead.
Head Honcho Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 One things for sure. If he wasn't going to get a thorough dicking before he admitted this, he sure is now!
Daggers Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 It's an easy mistake to make really. When I'm in the throws of rampant love making I often mistake my wife for dead. So do I...
Raj Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 I hump my Mrs leg when she is asleep. is that rape of her leg????
Daggers Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 I tell you one thing - you get a ****load of splinters in your dick when you rape a wooden desk. :pinch:
Raj Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 I tell you one thing - you get a ****load of splinters in your dick when you rape a wooden desk. :pinch: Didnt a bloke get done recently for raping a Bicycle???
Geo V Posted 5 February 2008 Posted 5 February 2008 Most idiotic excuse I have heard in recent times also beats this one passed on by a mate. He said that one of his staff phoned in to say that he was kidnapped by two women and thats why he couldnt come in to work one day.
LeeCovFox Posted 6 February 2008 Author Posted 6 February 2008 One lad I worked with phoned in sayig that he had malaria. He hadn't left the country. When informed he would need to take 6 months off work, he downgraded his illness to flu.
hairy Posted 6 February 2008 Posted 6 February 2008 I tell you one thing - you get a ****load of splinters in your dick when you rape a wooden desk. :pinch:
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