Foxhateram Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 Iv been chased by two cows today on my walk. I went out for a walk this morning to clear my head, after having a bit of a ruff night last night. but anyway i went out to meet my friend who lives about 2 miles away, to get there i had to walk by the side of the river past birds, sheep, and cows. field 1. The sheep and the cows here were fine they completely ignored me, i got through field one all safe. Field 2. There were cows galore in here and one with massive horns decided it'd chase me, now with my ankle how it is atm running is a bit of a problem and it was incredibly painful when i had to polvolt the fence in order to save myself. So heart throbbing i carried on bravely taking the other path which was a few yards away from these cows. Ok so through field two in one peice just about. Field 3. consisted of some weird duck thing which decided it'd squak at me alot, i ignored it and to my suprise the bloody thing decided it'd splash up water from the river at me. By now im smelling of cow crap where id polvolted the fence unsuccesfully, and covered in skanky river water. Field 4 came and this is where i met my friend. she decided she wanted to go back to Tipton which is where id just come from so i had to walk past all these crazy animals again, however they were fine while i was with her. So back to where i started plus a friend, we went back to my place, i decided id go have a shower and change my clothes because i stank like shit. From here i walked becki back to her place and we hugged all was fine on the way there, but on the way back everything went wrong. so Field 3 again. I hit my ankle on a bridge thing that you had to walk across this was painful, and i was limping alot, i then fell flat on my arse after my ankle decided to collapse underneath me. so here i am flat on my arse, ankle hurting, all on my own with the weather closing in. Field 2 again. The cows here were fine here this time as the faermer had rounded them up for tea time. so through here all safe, but limping like a prat. Field 1 again. I fought id be fine seen as these cows are normally alright, but not this time i was just about to walk past one when it started making noises at me and scrufing its hooves on the floor, so yet again it was time to move away slowly, well that was the plan but it decided it get quicker and quicker, face to face with this cow im shitting myself no lie, heart racing like anything and me talking to this cow to try and calm it down, so again my crap polvolting skills came into use as i made it to the fence. iv never been so close to a cows bucking horns in my life, never been so scared in my life. the thing just stood there next to the gate refusing to let me through. so i had to crawl under a gap in the fence that was a bit further up, where it was cow crap galore. i physically had to crawl through cow crap. not nice. So Home- and i find iv left my MSN on and people have been trying to talk to me all day, and now think im ignoring them. Only good thing about today was meeting up with my best mate. the rest of it was, well, truly awful! thought id post this though so you can all have a chuckle cus i guess its quite funny really, would be good as a comedy sketch. Who says living in the bloody countryside is bliss!!
Joe. Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 I think they should make a sitcom about your life to be honest.
Foxhateram Posted 22 February 2008 Author Posted 22 February 2008 I think they should make a documentary about your life to be honest. Sorry am i boring you? I was thinking more along the lines of comedy, because i guess to a nuetral the day iv had today would be pretty funny, and the bad luck i have is unbeleivable sometimes, people laugh at the simpsons dont they? thats all based on Homers bad luck. Maybe i could do something similar.
Joe. Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 Sorry am i boring you? I was thinking more along the lines of comedy, because i guess to a nuetral the day iv had today would be pretty funny, and the bad luck i have is unbeleivable sometimes, people laugh at the simpsons dont they? thats all based on Homers bad luck. Maybe i could do something similar. No I think it's funny. I don't think documentary was the right choice. Sitcom would be a better word to use.
Foxhateram Posted 22 February 2008 Author Posted 22 February 2008 No I think it's funny. I don't think documentary was the right choice. Sitcom would be a better word to use. Thats more like it Would rather my life be a rom-com tbh but i guess sit-com will have to do for now
Asha Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 Thats more like it Would rather my life be a rom-com tbh but i guess sit-com will have to do for now At the end of the day, you get a massive say in what type of program it is, and you can change it, remove people from it, add people to it, or end it at any point if you wanted to. Your the 'director' of the program, as it were. You can change it.
Foxhateram Posted 22 February 2008 Author Posted 22 February 2008 At the end of the day, you get a massive say in what type of program it is, and you can change it, remove people from it, add people to it, or end it at any point if you wanted to. Your the 'director' of the program, as it were. You can change it. If only it was that easy! but still going off topic. NSLL what do you think to the day iv had.
Asha Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 If only it was that easy! but still going off topic. NSLL what do you think to the day iv had. Bit crazy tbh. Admittedly. We all have bad days though mate, whilst some days are so amazing. You've just got to battle through the bad days and laugh at them afterwards, and know that better days will come.
Foxhateram Posted 22 February 2008 Author Posted 22 February 2008 Bit crazy tbh. Admittedly. We all have bad days though mate, whilst some days are so amazing. You've just got to battle through the bad days and laugh at them afterwards, and know that better days will come. well this is why i posted it on here, i thought itd be good to have a good chuckle at the day iv had. not many people seem to have taken to it though. Maybe its because i spelt Another wrong in the thread description.
MC Prussian Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 Lesson to be learnt for foxhateram: Don't. Take. MSN. So. Serious. And get out more often.
Daggers Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 Iv been chased by two cows today on my walk. I went out for a walk this morning to clear my head... Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I have no idea about what went on beyond this point because I was laughing tears. Did they pop out of the newsagents? I bet they did...bloody cow bastards!
AoWW Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 well this is why i posted it on here, i thought itd be good to have a good chuckle at the day iv had. not many people seem to have taken to it though. Maybe its because i spelt Another wrong in the thread description. Spelling, punctuation and grammar duly sorted. I laughed, by the way... lots!!! Bloody deadly those cows. Still fragrant from the l'eau du cow shite?
Daggers Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 Who says living in the bloody countryside is bliss!! We want countryside. We want it a lot.
Foxhateram Posted 22 February 2008 Author Posted 22 February 2008 Spelling, punctuation and grammar duly sorted. I laughed, by the way... lots!!! Bloody deadly those cows. Still fragrant from the l'eau du cow shite? nah iv been in the shower again!!!! three showers one day, each time iv had to wash my hair, its now gone really dry Still havent recovered properly, my heart still throbs when i think about the bloody thing chasing me.
Thracian Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 Iv been chased by two cows today on my walk. I went out for a walk this morning to clear my head, after having a bit of a ruff night last night. but anyway i went out to meet my friend who lives about 2 miles away, to get there i had to walk by the side of the river past birds, sheep, and cows. field 1. The sheep and the cows here were fine they completely ignored me, i got through field one all safe. Field 2. There were cows galore in here and one with massive horns decided it'd chase me, now with my ankle how it is atm running is a bit of a problem and it was incredibly painful when i had to polvolt the fence in order to save myself. So heart throbbing i carried on bravely taking the other path which was a few yards away from these cows. Ok so through field two in one peice just about. Field 3. consisted of some weird duck thing which decided it'd squak at me alot, i ignored it and to my suprise the bloody thing decided it'd splash up water from the river at me. By now im smelling of cow crap where id polvolted the fence unsuccesfully, and covered in skanky river water. Field 4 came and this is where i met my friend. she decided she wanted to go back to Tipton which is where id just come from so i had to walk past all these crazy animals again, however they were fine while i was with her. So back to where i started plus a friend, we went back to my place, i decided id go have a shower and change my clothes because i stank like shit. From here i walked becki back to her place and we hugged all was fine on the way there, but on the way back everything went wrong. so Field 3 again. I hit my ankle on a bridge thing that you had to walk across this was painful, and i was limping alot, i then fell flat on my arse after my ankle decided to collapse underneath me. so here i am flat on my arse, ankle hurting, all on my own with the weather closing in. Field 2 again. The cows here were fine here this time as the faermer had rounded them up for tea time. so through here all safe, but limping like a prat. Field 1 again. I fought id be fine seen as these cows are normally alright, but not this time i was just about to walk past one when it started making noises at me and scrufing its hooves on the floor, so yet again it was time to move away slowly, well that was the plan but it decided it get quicker and quicker, face to face with this cow im shitting myself no lie, heart racing like anything and me talking to this cow to try and calm it down, so again my crap polvolting skills came into use as i made it to the fence. iv never been so close to a cows bucking horns in my life, never been so scared in my life. the thing just stood there next to the gate refusing to let me through. so i had to crawl under a gap in the fence that was a bit further up, where it was cow crap galore. i physically had to crawl through cow crap. not nice. So Home- and i find iv left my MSN on and people have been trying to talk to me all day, and now think im ignoring them. Only good thing about today was meeting up with my best mate. the rest of it was, well, truly awful! thought id post this though so you can all have a chuckle cus i guess its quite funny really, would be good as a comedy sketch. Who says living in the bloody countryside is bliss!! :D That's one heap bad luck so to speak. And it does kill the myth that seems to persist about cows being harmless. They're a bit like DavieG, they just seem harmless. That Becki must be some gal for you to bravely walk the gauntlet a second time.
Jordan Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 From here i walked becki back to her place and we hugged all was fine on the way there Awwwwwwwwwwwww! That is a hilarious journey, though. You could have just kept that story to yourself, but nay, you've provided us with a very entertaining thread. I salute you, wish you a speedy recovery on your ankle injury and hope that you didn't make this all up!
Foxhateram Posted 22 February 2008 Author Posted 22 February 2008 Awwwwwwwwwwwww! That is a hilarious journey, though. You could have just kept that story to yourself, but nay, you've provided us with a very entertaining thread. I salute you, wish you a speedy recovery on your ankle injury and hope that you didn't make this all up! I wouldnt have made it up, its to bloody awful to even make up a story like that. Ah i thought id provide the sotry to you guys cus i knew you would put a positive spin on things, so rather then me taking it all personally and ending up all upset i decided id have a laugh about it with the people on this forum. Im a true british man, i dont mind people laughing at me while im laughing too.
AoWW Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 Did you leave your violin in the field of cows? Mean!
danny. Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 who/what is becki? is she the 'squaking' duck?
WetFlannel Posted 22 February 2008 Posted 22 February 2008 who/what is becki? is she the 'squaking' duck? The rampaging cow
lookwhaticando Posted 23 February 2008 Posted 23 February 2008 I thought Becki was the name of the bird who was causing all the heartache recently.
Foxhateram Posted 23 February 2008 Author Posted 23 February 2008 I thought Becki was the name of the bird who was causing all the heartache recently. She is indeed but im getting used to us just being mates now. Still wierd being around her, but yer im getting over it. slowly. Anyway glad some of you found my day yesterday funny now i look back at it, it was quite hilarious. Dont want another day like it anytime soon thow.
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