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General Smuts

FT Rap Battle Quarter Finals

By General Smuts, in The Music Forum

FT Rap Battle Quarter Finals  

41 members have voted

  1. 1. Fez Vs LD3

    • Fez
      32
    • LD3
      9

  2. 2. Fox You Forest Vs A Fox In Essex

    • Fox You Forest
      14
    • A Fox In Essex
      27

  3. 3. Stez Vs Katy

    • Stez
      18
    • Katy
      23

  4. 4. General Smuts Vs NSLL

    • General Smuts
      15
    • NSLL
      26

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General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted

The Quater Final Lyrics:

Fez Vs LD3

Fez

You wish you were a little bit taller, you wish you weren't smaller,

You wish you had a girl, if you did she'd be called Paula,

You wish you had a job, a Ferrari key fob and a cheese and onion cob

You wish you were like 4 foot 6, weren't built like a stick of Twix between a bag of pick 'n' mix and some chicken drumsticks.

I pity Fenerbahce, their form is so patchy, as shit as Apache Indian was catchy.

Boom! Shak-a-lak! Now I'm on the attack, your shooting needs some work, just like Semih Senturk,

I'm hot like a nacho, you're cold like Gazpacho, you'll never be macho (Ben thinks you're a twat Joe),

You're a bore, a post whore, and you bottled Turf Moor, I got rhymes super quick like Gabby Agbonlahor.

Photos do you no favours, you should go to Specsavers,

You look cheesy like Quavers (but not the other flavours),

Je pense que tu es un imbecile, tu es petit, je suis grande comme un mille,

Je gagne hier, aujourd'hui et demain, je deteste le Fenerbache, j'adore Paris Saint-Germain.

I apologise I'm not a true linguist, I'm still gonna win this,

My rhymes are distinguished, your hopes will be extinguished,

The Kop is really shit, you're responsible for it,

I'm reppin' L1, it's been fun, but now you're done.

LD3

1 Fez, 2 Fez, 3 Fez 4,

It's the LD3 knocking at your door.

Come to knock you out 'cuz your lyrics are poor,

So then boy are you ready for war...

Foxestalk's Fez real name David Bevan,

Went off to France with a lady from Kesteven,

Hope he didn't go to a strip club again,

Wouldn't like to be there when the bill needs payin'.

Loves Arsenal, jizzes all over their style of play,

Rather be there than Filbert Way.

Hates Chris Kamara he thinks a ****,

Perhaps next time he'll be a bit more blunt.

This things been shit, I know i'm out

If only I could rap aswell as this lout.

Couldn't even get a thing in about his indie music,

Nobody has heard of his shit so I couldn't get to use it.

Fox You Forest Vs A Fox In Essex

Fox You Forest

Fueled by Mk Dons hate.

I think this chap needs to Masturbate.

Too much pent up anger.

Just find a cheap whore and bang 'er.

He hates that fookin Chelsea Dagger

Just take that whore and rag 'er

It makes him go black and blue.

Stop knocking one out over big John Carew.

Loves gay lookin Steve Guppy.

For the love of god he's a yuppy.

Comes from Market Harborough.

Makes love to the wildlife of Farnborough.

A Fox In Essex will be beat.

He sure makes those sheep bleat.

Sadly for this beating there is no cure.

In the next round I'll beat LD3 he knows the score.

Safe Bitches.

Recognize.

A Fox In Essex

Fox You Forest - FYF

This one's in the bag so please stop wasting your breath

You're like a rent boy who's addicted to meth

And like Dennis Nilsen all I crave is your death

You come from Coalville, a town full of coal

And unlike your words my lyrics got soul

You're rap is terrible, I'm gonna be a critic

And I'll suggest that you just fook off back to Whitwick

Your hometown's off J22/M1

I'm like the whoreson of a GPS and DJ Run

So you'd better brush up on your geogrpahy

Coz I'm gonna send your shitty rhymes to Coventry

I'm the one, the only AFiE

And my destruction of you is my legacy

My supremacy has left you in the dark

So just fook off back to Snibston Discovery Park

Stez Vs Katy

Stez

sorry for the lateness of the rap,

but i've been going through a crap

load of jobs on katy's list, preventing my getting pissed

i dared not desist, i hope i've not missed owt off katy's check-list.

tv viewing of katy? she watches naught but QVC,

makes stez angry, her eyes are blurry, specially the beauty

i get in from work and go berserk, there's a lack of murk

every light's on, costin' a bomb it's like the house is bloody neon

stez wonders where the money goes

katy knows, katy's clothes, the pile of frocks rose while stez chose

asda's own brand, the pants feel like paper imbued with sand

stez fears for his gland, when this rap, unplanned doth crash-land

went to paris the night before last night

i didn't get an invite, made me feel like shite?

well it might, but i've been work

my feelings knee-jerk? i should consider it a perk

Katy

Stez, you look old like Des (O'Connor)

You got no honour,

You're a goner,

You look scruffy like Bez.

Does he wash up? No, he never wash up,

Put away your cup from whence you just sup.

Does he clean up? No, he never clean up,

You leave towels on the floor you mucky pup.

I'm gonna turn off bloody Gardeners World,

Stop perving over all the telly weather girls.

He's so tight and he's so frugul,

What is it with this obsession with Google?

You get incredibly silly,

Whenever anyone mentions Mark Wallingtons willy,

Where you work is not very hilly,

But in the winter it gets rather chilly.

General Smuts Vs NSLL

General Smuts

Theres a preschooler i know goes by the name of Nussul

He's a little emo mofo whose forever on the hustle

Real names Ashley Jupp and he doesnt give a fook

About the lovely ladies cos hes all about the cock!

N to the S to the Double El

His rymes are so wack that hes gan to hell

He's Nussel FT's love muscle a big he's a fan of the brussell (sprout)

Hark hear him shout, just look at facey bs and catch a peek of his pig snout

Nowadays new school rap is all gangstas with gats

This badboys so young he dont even remember Thundercats

Last time out my boy caused a bit of a fuss, started some shit

While we were watching toons he was on his mothers tits

My rymes so big its like Sway - This Is My Promo

Nussul heads so big hes like ET phoning homos

Proprieter and chief poster in the All Nighter Thread

Shame he can find a girl and fook her instead.

NSLL

Smutsie boy seems too gay for this hood

Looking more queer than anyone could

Wearing his cowboy hat, coloured bright pink

Serious bro – consider a shrink

Formerly named Leicesters Finest Fox

Passes his time just dreaming of cocks?

Can’t know for sure, can’t enter his mind

What if we could?...fcuk knows what we’d find.

He works for Nissan? Epic fail.

You heard me right – he is a male

Surprised me too, was not forseen

He’s more of a girl than Libertine.

Maybe I’m being a bit OTT

But cmon blad, you got more on me.

He seems sound enough, respect this lad

'Cause if you don’t, he might fcuk your dad.

Good Luck Everyone!

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Trav Le Bleu

Trav Le Bleu

Posted
Posted

Has anyone noticed that only AFiE has kept to the formula that was 1st put forward by Smuts (even Smuts doesn't keep to it!)

AFiE wins by default in that case (As I should have beaten Fez last round. Frikkin rule bender! :P )

Oh, and LD3... you weren't even trying!

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General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Has anyone noticed that only AFiE has kept to the formula that was 1st put forward by Smuts (even Smuts doesn't keep to it!)

AFiE wins by default in that case (As I should have beaten Fez last round. Frikkin rule bender! :P )

Oh, and LD3... you weren't even trying!

I got rid of that rule after about 5 minutes cos peeps complained. I've let y'all roam with artistic licence.

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lildave3

lildave3

Posted
Posted
Has anyone noticed that only AFiE has kept to the formula that was 1st put forward by Smuts (even Smuts doesn't keep to it!)

AFiE wins by default in that case (As I should have beaten Fez last round. Frikkin rule bender! :P )

Oh, and LD3... you weren't even trying!

I know, I left it too late and then I couldn't think of anything.

It's too much work doing these.

lol Fez has blatantly taken inspiration from Skee-lo for the first few lines.

Fez is a lyrical thief :P

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