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Thracian

They said a flu pandemic was due....

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Posted
there was a lady on the radio claiming to have 'flu-like symptoms' and she sounded well chirpy, when asked what the symptoms were she said 'a runny nose and a bit of a sore throat' that sounds slightly more like a bit of a cold to me...i had the flu late last year and i couldn't get out of bed for a week and a half.

Ditto..... I had that one....... totally floored me for a couple of weeks - everything hurt even my bones and eyeballs

Posted
there was a lady on the radio claiming to have 'flu-like symptoms' and she sounded well chirpy, when asked what the symptoms were she said 'a runny nose and a bit of a sore throat' that sounds slightly more like a bit of a cold to me...i had the flu late last year and i couldn't get out of bed for a week and a half.

:D :D Most in my family have had a dose of the sore throat and runny nose irritation. It's been my wife's turn over the weekend and I told her not to look too misable at the market today.

"Why not," she asked?

"Cos they'll be carting you off to an isolation ward in hospital and you might never be seen again," I told her.

Posted

Well if scaring people is the intention then theyve done it for me. Im bricking it now. Ive had constant health problems for the last 12 months and feel very vunerable to anything going.

:sweating:

Posted

Miss Piggy Dies of Swine Flu

Miss Piggy, actress and star of television, stage and screen, has become the first celebrity victim of the Swine Flu Epidemic. The 39 year old actress passed away at Hollywood Hills Hospital surrounded by family, friends and a representative from Princes Ham Packaging Plant.

Miss Piggy is survived by her late husband, Kermit the Frog. She was preceeded in death by her mother, who was a Cure 81 ham served for Thanksgiving dinner at Buckingham Palace in 1982, and her father, most famous for playing for his role as the bacon in a Burger King Bacon Double Cheeseburger commercial.

Her cousin, Porky Pig, will offer the eulogy at her funeral on Thursday. From the hospital media center, he offered the following statement: "P-P-P-Piggy was a really sweet g-g-g-g- lady. I hope that wherever she goes, her k-k-k-karate chops will be remembered as much as her p-p-p-p-pork chops."

It should be noted that Miss Piggy captained a NASA mission that became known as Pigs in Space. NASA will commemorate her service to the programme with a space shuttle flyover and by cancelling the scheduled Pork Roast lunch in their cafeteria the day of the funeral.

Posted

After doing a bit of thorough digging it seems that all the victims who died had been exposed to another virus which had worked in conjunction to the swine flu contributing to the killing. The virus they had been exposed to is apparently 'doing the rounds' locally to the victims. If the disease spread I can't see it being anywhere near as dangerous as it is being made out to be.

Posted

The World Health Organisation today issued a new warning against non-essential travel to the entire Western hemisphere following renewed concerns about the spread of Severe Loss of Perspective Syndrome (SLOPS). Officials are warning travellers not to visit the UK, the US, almost all of Western Europe, and Canada, following further outbreaks of the disease, which has led to mass panic among the media, thousands of ecstatic children being kept out of school by their credulous and moronic parents, and increased profits for DIY stores as the idiot public rush to bulk-buy face masks and boiler suits.

A WHO spokesman said, “You’d be much better off going to somewhere like Thailand or China, because all you’ve got to worry about there is SARS, and let’s face it, you’re about as likely to die from that as you are to get kicked to death by a gang of zombie nuns.”

The SARS virus has now claimed a staggering 500 lives in only six months, which makes it considerably more deadly than, say, malaria, which only kills around 3000 people every single day. Malaria, however, mainly effects only darkies what speak foreign, whereas SARS has made at least one English person feel a bit iffy for a couple of days, and is therefore considered much more serious.

The spread of SLOPS has now reached pandemic proportions, with many high-level politicians seemingly affected by the disease. The rapid spread of SLOPS has been linked to the end of the war in Iraq and the need for Western leaders to give the public something to worry about. Otherwise, they might start asking uncomfortable questions about domestic issues, and that simply would not do.

Posted

l444ry's post has got me wondering. Did Curmet ever get to ride Miss Piggy? He tried his heart out if I remember right.

Was it Curmet or was it Kermet :dunno:

Posted
l444ry's post has got me wondering. Did Curmet ever get to ride Miss Piggy? He tried his heart out if I remember right.

Was it Curmet or was it Kermet :dunno:

Think it was Kermit

Posted

Granno's status on FB is classic.

Swine flu. It's a pig to get rid of.

Posted
One might say we're in danger of a hamdemic :ph34r:

Oh dear, that's a million times worse than anything I could come out with.

Posted

So pig flu is now officially more scary than the last pandemic.

I guess bird flu never really took off.

Posted
Looking likely that Thomson will cancel my holiday to Mexico. Oh well Aruba it is then!

Could always go to Cuba. Apparently the Bay of Pigs is lovely.

Posted

Flu Pandemic: The Facts - A Must Read For All

What are the facts of a flu pandemic? That is the question so many of our forum members need to have answered.

What exactly is a flu pandemic?

A flu pandemic is a panda bear with a nasty cold or a bout of influenza. It is so called "Pandemic" because it is widespread like an epidemic and it only hits Pandas.

Who can get this Pandemic flu?

I had a lot of difficulty answering this question, as I was flabbergasted by the stupidity of some of our members. Only Pandas can get the Pandemic hence why it is called a Pandemic!

How is it spread?

It's spread by spreadable butter eg. Kerrygold Spreading Butter; I can't believe It's Not Butter and Waitrose Spreadable Butter for Teens. In some cases margarine is used.

What is the incubation period?

Pandas have the same incubation period as grizzly bears. It is 7 months from conception to birth. Twins may take longer.

What is flu?

Flu is short for Fluent Airborne Virus - it is a virus that is fluent in several languages and is airborne. Its symptoms include sneezing, headaches, coughing up blood, tourettes syndrome and possible demon possession.

Is it fatal?

Does a bear shit in the woods?

What can I do to keep myself safe from a flu pandemic?

Are you a fooking Panda?

Then why are you worried??

Posted

Is it true you can catch it by eating bacon.... i'm worried as i had a fry up this morning. I should probably go to the doctors for a jab or something.

Posted
Is it true you can catch it by eating bacon.... i'm worried as i had a fry up this morning. I should probably go to the doctors for a jab or something.

No cooking the meat is ok, but you still should go to the STI clinic for a check up!!

Posted
Media paranoia and over reaction anyone?

Not sure if it's media paranoia or media manipulation, trying to get millions of folk to have dodgy vaccinations.

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